HoCo Madness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um yeah no this is not how HoCo went in my household.

Junior year. He wore an outfit from his closet. We dropped him off a school where he met up with his friends. He and four friends left around nine to go to a friend's house (parents home) and we picked him up at ten. No dinner. No party bus. A few iphone photos before he left.

Who is paying for all this for your daughter? Stop paying if you don't like it.

Oh also. We are in the DCC, not Whitman. Maybe that is the difference. Most kids can't afford to blow money like you describe. We never would have bought in Whitman - overwhelmingly wealthy and white.

Whitman sounds so incredibly toxic on several levels because of the loads of disposable money.

I am the OP. I've long used this board for info on MCPS and college/university admission (the latter I'm not sure has been helpful, but that board is entertaining). These sorts of comments about Whitman frustrate me. To the person who said "We would never have bought in Whitman" - you have no idea how my family ended up in the Whitman district. Not everyone has the same narrative of "have kids, buy a house and base that purchase on the school district." We did not end up in our domicile that way. In fact, we didn't even choose it. And some might not consider us white, although some do (depends what school of thought you come from and what form you're filling in).

Sometimes, in condemning people's so-called "choices," people on here can really indicate lack of understanding that others' paths may not reflect theirs. It's a very narrow way of looking at things to assume all families are/were in the same situation as you, and thus any discontent they have is a result of them making different (i.e., wrong) choices. It's sanctimonious.

Back to the topic at hand, I agree the no dance thing is weird, and do wish they school-sponsored event (whether the dance, carnival or something else) was Saturday night so that kids who wanted something structured to do had that choice. I don't like what HoCo has become, and I think the person on here who said it's a parent problem is right - so would require collective parent action to change, which would take time, but is possible.

I think this should be easy to solve. The PTSA at Whitman should publicly condemn these sorts of side parties so it becomes uncool to host or organize them. Parents organize these for bragging rights and because they don't want their child to be left out but if parents that people look up to decide to go all out for the school event instead others will follow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happen to just grabbing dinner at a local restaurant and heading to Hoco? Why does one have to drive all the way into Washington DC to take some photos in front of the monument. When did that become a "thing"? I must have totally missed the memo.

I thought that’s what they do for prom, where the dressing up part is more formal. Isn’t HoCo just party dresses?

It is. Seems Whitman is going to excess for no reason. The fact that there is no dance and the kids are dressing up and planning dinner, pictures, and parties and calling it homecoming is just weird. Really it’s just any Saturday in the year and they are getting together with friends and partying. These thing don’t even sound homecoming adjacent.

The school created this vacuum when they cancelled the dance. Although Whitman parents say that even when they had the dance kids got dressed up, took pictures and still skipped the dance anyway?

The whole thing makes absolutely no sense to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um yeah no this is not how HoCo went in my household.

Junior year. He wore an outfit from his closet. We dropped him off a school where he met up with his friends. He and four friends left around nine to go to a friend's house (parents home) and we picked him up at ten. No dinner. No party bus. A few iphone photos before he left.

Who is paying for all this for your daughter? Stop paying if you don't like it.

Oh also. We are in the DCC, not Whitman. Maybe that is the difference. Most kids can't afford to blow money like you describe. We never would have bought in Whitman - overwhelmingly wealthy and white.

Whitman sounds so incredibly toxic on several levels because of the loads of disposable money.

I am the OP. I've long used this board for info on MCPS and college/university admission (the latter I'm not sure has been helpful, but that board is entertaining). These sorts of comments about Whitman frustrate me. To the person who said "We would never have bought in Whitman" - you have no idea how my family ended up in the Whitman district. Not everyone has the same narrative of "have kids, buy a house and base that purchase on the school district." We did not end up in our domicile that way. In fact, we didn't even choose it. And some might not consider us white, although some do (depends what school of thought you come from and what form you're filling in).

Sometimes, in condemning people's so-called "choices," people on here can really indicate lack of understanding that others' paths may not reflect theirs. It's a very narrow way of looking at things to assume all families are/were in the same situation as you, and thus any discontent they have is a result of them making different (i.e., wrong) choices. It's sanctimonious.

Back to the topic at hand, I agree the no dance thing is weird, and do wish they school-sponsored event (whether the dance, carnival or something else) was Saturday night so that kids who wanted something structured to do had that choice. I don't like what HoCo has become, and I think the person on here who said it's a parent problem is right - so would require collective parent action to change, which would take time, but is possible.

I think this should be easy to solve. The PTSA at Whitman should publicly condemn these sorts of side parties so it becomes uncool to host or organize them. Parents organize these for bragging rights and because they don't want their child to be left out but if parents that people look up to decide to go all out for the school event instead others will follow.

School admin should probably say something too....

[Anonymous]

Some private schools do a much better job of keeping homecoming a great spirit event and preventing the immature oneupsmanship OP described at Whitman.

At some the PTSA works with the admin to organize their own pre-dance dinners and/or they have a supervised after party on campus or nearby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is anyone else completely over and done with how complicated (and downright hazardous) Homecoming has become? My kid is at Whitman in MCPS, which had it this weekend, but I’m guessing the formula is pretty much the same in other nearby schools (some pretty awful dresses for the girls (and I’m no clothing prude), dinner, monuments for photos, afterparty). My DC is totally extroverted and loves being social but even they say it’s just too much. Yet, they also feel compelled to participate. And now I’m seeing all the photos of their friends on Instagram, many of which really should come down (obvious drinking). It’s all just so very…not good. I guess I'm part of the problem for supporting their participation, but I'm no where as supportive as other parents (organizing party buses, hosting an afterparty with alcohol, etc.) Perhaps I'm just a killjoy, but I was so relieved at 12.30 on Saturday night when DC was home and it was over for another year. Just a vent I guess, but I am curious if others feel the same way I do.

All of this is only standard for certain parts of the county, but not most. My crew in east County is not doing all this, but my students in NW are.

[Anonymous]

Howard County is the worst!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There was a scandal at the dance pre covid - alleged sexual harassment at the dance.

So let's do alcohol and drug-fueled house parties sponsored by parents instead?

This is one of those cases where the solutions is worse than the original problem it was meant to solve....

That's a parent problem, not a school problem. The regular kids are going to the Friday night party, the rich drinking drugging kids are creating their own "homecoming" with the help of parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There was a scandal at the dance pre covid - alleged sexual harassment at the dance.

So let's do alcohol and drug-fueled house parties sponsored by parents instead?

This is one of those cases where the solutions is worse than the original problem it was meant to solve....

That's a parent problem, not a school problem. The regular kids are going to the Friday night party, the rich drinking drugging kids are creating their own "homecoming" with the help of parents.

Sounds like an MCPD problem...

[Anonymous]

I genuinely do not see the problem in anything described other than the drinking.

Why is it bad or wrong to do something special and different?

My kid works long hours on school work and ECs. When she hangs out with friends it is all the same type of thing...hanging in somebody's basement (without alcohol and with parents home), hanging out at the mall and Pike and Rose, etc...

I think it is fun that they do something different and make memories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um yeah no this is not how HoCo went in my household.

Junior year. He wore an outfit from his closet. We dropped him off a school where he met up with his friends. He and four friends left around nine to go to a friend's house (parents home) and we picked him up at ten. No dinner. No party bus. A few iphone photos before he left.

Who is paying for all this for your daughter? Stop paying if you don't like it.

Oh also. We are in the DCC, not Whitman. Maybe that is the difference. Most kids can't afford to blow money like you describe. We never would have bought in Whitman - overwhelmingly wealthy and white.

Whitman sounds so incredibly toxic on several levels because of the loads of disposable money.

I am the OP. I've long used this board for info on MCPS and college/university admission (the latter I'm not sure has been helpful, but that board is entertaining). These sorts of comments about Whitman frustrate me. To the person who said "We would never have bought in Whitman" - you have no idea how my family ended up in the Whitman district. Not everyone has the same narrative of "have kids, buy a house and base that purchase on the school district." We did not end up in our domicile that way. In fact, we didn't even choose it. And some might not consider us white, although some do (depends what school of thought you come from and what form you're filling in).

Sometimes, in condemning people's so-called "choices," people on here can really indicate lack of understanding that others' paths may not reflect theirs. It's a very narrow way of looking at things to assume all families are/were in the same situation as you, and thus any discontent they have is a result of them making different (i.e., wrong) choices. It's sanctimonious.

Back to the topic at hand, I agree the no dance thing is weird, and do wish they school-sponsored event (whether the dance, carnival or something else) was Saturday night so that kids who wanted something structured to do had that choice. I don't like what HoCo has become, and I think the person on here who said it's a parent problem is right - so would require collective parent action to change, which would take time, but is possible.

I think this should be easy to solve. The PTSA at Whitman should publicly condemn these sorts of side parties so it becomes uncool to host or organize them. Parents organize these for bragging rights and because they don't want their child to be left out but if parents that people look up to decide to go all out for the school event instead others will follow.

The PTSA at Whitman created the “carnival” or whatever you want to call it on the fields specifically to create an alternative to the parties.

[Anonymous]

My HS back in our 1980 event involved limos, coke, clubbing and hotel rooms. This is tame. We actually had an after party at a disco till 4 am with a full open bar.

You parents pretending to be shocked are crazy. We actually had kids caught having sex in sixth grade at school.

The 1970s and early 1980 were wild. Jungle Juice and Queludes. I went to a keg party after finals week in ninth grade

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happen to just grabbing dinner at a local restaurant and heading to Hoco? Why does one have to drive all the way into Washington DC to take some photos in front of the monument. When did that become a "thing"? I must have totally missed the memo.

I thought that’s what they do for prom, where the dressing up part is more formal. Isn’t HoCo just party dresses?

It is. Seems Whitman is going to excess for no reason. The fact that there is no dance and the kids are dressing up and planning dinner, pictures, and parties and calling it homecoming is just weird. Really it’s just any Saturday in the year and they are getting together with friends and partying. These thing don’t even sound homecoming adjacent.

The school created this vacuum when they cancelled the dance. Although Whitman parents say that even when they had the dance kids got dressed up, took pictures and still skipped the dance anyway?

The whole thing makes absolutely no sense to me.

Technically the changed the dance to the carnival party. And if the dance was so important the students/parents could revive it. Stop trying to blame the school because parents would rather subsidize unnecessary and unsupervised extravagance as opposed to organizing a traditional dance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My HS back in our 1980 event involved limos, coke, clubbing and hotel rooms. This is tame. We actually had an after party at a disco till 4 am with a full open bar.

You parents pretending to be shocked are crazy. We actually had kids caught having sex in sixth grade at school.

The 1970s and early 1980 were wild. Jungle Juice and Queludes. I went to a keg party after finals week in ninth grade

Yeah but did the parents organize it all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My HS back in our 1980 event involved limos, coke, clubbing and hotel rooms. This is tame. We actually had an after party at a disco till 4 am with a full open bar.

You parents pretending to be shocked are crazy. We actually had kids caught having sex in sixth grade at school.

The 1970s and early 1980 were wild. Jungle Juice and Queludes. I went to a keg party after finals week in ninth grade

Yeah but did the parents organize it all?

This isn't the 1980s. There was also racist, anti-LGBT and sexist talk that was accepted and big hair and hairspray. You are also unfathomably old to be on this board. Are there parents of K12 kids who were teens in the 80s?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My HS back in our 1980 event involved limos, coke, clubbing and hotel rooms. This is tame. We actually had an after party at a disco till 4 am with a full open bar.

You parents pretending to be shocked are crazy. We actually had kids caught having sex in sixth grade at school.

The 1970s and early 1980 were wild. Jungle Juice and Queludes. I went to a keg party after finals week in ninth grade

Yeah but did the parents organize it all?

This isn't the 1980s. There was also racist, anti-LGBT and sexist talk that was accepted and big hair and hairspray. You are also unfathomably old to be on this board. Are there parents of K12 kids who were teens in the 80s?!

Yes. *waves hi*