HoCo Madness

[Anonymous]

It was very low key at DD's school according to Instagram but most kids there can't afford party buses and don't have homes big enough to host an after party. At most they walked somewhere and ate.

[Anonymous]

OP -- Also at Whitman and feel you 100%. I am sooo glad this weekend is over and nothing bad happened. I really wish we had a dance, which would be a better activity than monuments, party bus, etc. The amount of drinking at 15 astounds me; I don't understand where they're getting it. My DC hasn't tried it yet but I can't imagine the peer pressure. It's all too much.

[Anonymous]

OP here - the thing is, at Whitman, there is no dance. HoCo is all the other stuff, without a dance to sort of provide a central component. The person who mentioned affluence is right. Parents are footing - or at least fronting - all of this. I wish they'd all band together and just put a stop to the excess, on all levels. Fortunately, it appears no disasters occurred. But, it could so easily happen (I know it can other weekends too.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's annoying that it's all about the pictures.

My kid and her friends got all dressed up. They hired a party bus to take them to the monuments then dinner then back to a friend's house where they changed into sweats and headed to a party.
no one even bought tickets to the actual dance!

That is insane. Why did you pay for the party bus just for them to take pictures and go to some teenage house party?

+1. Would not have permitted this. They are least going to the school dance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is anyone else completely over and done with how complicated (and downright hazardous) Homecoming has become? My kid is at Whitman in MCPS, which had it this weekend, but I’m guessing the formula is pretty much the same in other nearby schools (some pretty awful dresses for the girls (and I’m no clothing prude), dinner, monuments for photos, afterparty). My DC is totally extroverted and loves being social but even they say it’s just too much. Yet, they also feel compelled to participate. And now I’m seeing all the photos of their friends on Instagram, many of which really should come down (obvious drinking). It’s all just so very…not good. I guess I'm part of the problem for supporting their participation, but I'm no where as supportive as other parents (organizing party buses, hosting an afterparty with alcohol, etc.) Perhaps I'm just a killjoy, but I was so relieved at 12.30 on Saturday night when DC was home and it was over for another year. Just a vent I guess, but I am curious if others feel the same way I do.

I hear you! Can you say it loud and clear for the folks in the back. It has gotten ridiculous these days. My child doesn't participate. She is not interested. Total introvert that would rather have a get together with her introvert friends. They organize themselves, a group of 4 friends and had a great time together for sleep over at my house. They went to the movies Friday night instead of the homecoming game which she believes is too loud and out of control for her. Saturday, they went to the museums and then later for dinner. They had pictures and lots of fun in their own way. She is making memories with her close friends. If your child is not interested in the HoCo craziness, let them choose how to go about it. High school is all what they make of it. Don't let peer pressure reel you all in.
I hear you and I totally feel you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP -- Also at Whitman and feel you 100%. I am sooo glad this weekend is over and nothing bad happened. I really wish we had a dance, which would be a better activity than monuments, party bus, etc. The amount of drinking at 15 astounds me; I don't understand where they're getting it. My DC hasn't tried it yet but I can't imagine the peer pressure. It's all too much.

You didn't have a dance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - the thing is, at Whitman, there is no dance. HoCo is all the other stuff, without a dance to sort of provide a central component. The person who mentioned affluence is right. Parents are footing - or at least fronting - all of this. I wish they'd all band together and just put a stop to the excess, on all levels. Fortunately, it appears no disasters occurred. But, it could so easily happen (I know it can other weekends too.)

Hang on, there's not even a dance? Was there a football game? Otherwise this doesn't even seem like "homecoming" just a random weekend ($$$$$) party...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The dressing up, taking pictures and fun with friends is total feature of HoCo, not a bug.

The stuff you're talking about with drinking and afterparties are not allowed for me and my household. So that's not a factor for us. I think you're talking about two different things and need to separate them.

HoCo is great. And I think the dressing up, the rituals and all of that are fun and a good way to bond. Enabling high-risk adolescent behavior with drinking and unsupervised parties where alcohol, drunks and sexual violence can happen is not ok. And that's on you as a parent to allow or disallow.

Again, my kids aren't allowed to partake in those things. There are no "afterparties" that they are allowed to go to at anyone's house. The most they do is go to IHOP or Denny's. And even then, one of the parents is taking them and picking them up from the restaurant.

LOL

[Anonymous]

I have a freshman at Whitman and don't understand the history. My kid didn't do the busses and all that stuff because apparently "freshman don't get to do that." He did go to the game and the HoCo festival thing that happened after the game, which he said was boring. But why doesn't Whitman have a dance - is there a story there? Has all this other stuff gotten so over the top in part because there isn't even a dance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear you! Can you say it loud and clear for the folks in the back. It has gotten ridiculous these days. My child doesn't participate. She is not interested. Total introvert that would rather have a get together with her introvert friends. They organize themselves, a group of 4 friends and had a great time together for sleep over at my house. They went to the movies Friday night instead of the homecoming game which she believes is too loud and out of control for her. Saturday, they went to the museums and then later for dinner. They had pictures and lots of fun in their own way. She is making memories with her close friends. If your child is not interested in the HoCo craziness, let them choose how to go about it. High school is all what they make of it. Don't let peer pressure reel you all in.
I hear you and I totally feel you!

This sounds like a dream! Congrats. It's similar to how I was as a teen. I somehow have super social teens so am really struggling with all of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a freshman at Whitman and don't understand the history. My kid didn't do the busses and all that stuff because apparently "freshman don't get to do that." He did go to the game and the HoCo festival thing that happened after the game, which he said was boring. But why doesn't Whitman have a dance - is there a story there? Has all this other stuff gotten so over the top in part because there isn't even a dance?

History is that dance ended with COVID. The first year back, they didn't resurrect the dance. Instead they have a school-sponsored party on the baseball field after the football game on Friday night. That has now gone on for three years, and it seems like the kids enjoy it (bounce houses, etc.). On the Saturday, self-organized groups do these self-organized gatherings that involve some combination of dressing up (or down, depending how you feel about those dresses), dinner, trip to monuments, parties, etc. And without the dance to anchor it, the ugliness really comes through. Sounds like a lot of kids don't go overboard, and kudos so those with kids who don't transgress. To me, it seems like a parent-sanctioned weekend of debauchery - things going on that other weekends they'd frown upon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - the thing is, at Whitman, there is no dance. HoCo is all the other stuff, without a dance to sort of provide a central component. The person who mentioned affluence is right. Parents are footing - or at least fronting - all of this. I wish they'd all band together and just put a stop to the excess, on all levels. Fortunately, it appears no disasters occurred. But, it could so easily happen (I know it can other weekends too.)

Hang on, there's not even a dance? Was there a football game? Otherwise this doesn't even seem like "homecoming" just a random weekend ($$$$$) party...

+1
What?! OP is right this is madness. Who are the parents that are organizing this stuff?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a freshman at Whitman and don't understand the history. My kid didn't do the busses and all that stuff because apparently "freshman don't get to do that." He did go to the game and the HoCo festival thing that happened after the game, which he said was boring. But why doesn't Whitman have a dance - is there a story there? Has all this other stuff gotten so over the top in part because there isn't even a dance?

History is that dance ended with COVID. The first year back, they didn't resurrect the dance. Instead they have a school-sponsored party on the baseball field after the football game on Friday night. That has now gone on for three years, and it seems like the kids enjoy it (bounce houses, etc.). On the Saturday, self-organized groups do these self-organized gatherings that involve some combination of dressing up (or down, depending how you feel about those dresses), dinner, trip to monuments, parties, etc. And without the dance to anchor it, the ugliness really comes through. Sounds like a lot of kids don't go overboard, and kudos so those with kids who don't transgress. To me, it seems like a parent-sanctioned weekend of debauchery - things going on that other weekends they'd frown upon.

Wow, this is shocking. My kid enjoyed her HoCo dance. She had a friend sleep over on Friday night, and had a couple more come over on Saturday where they all got dressed for the dance. We drove them and picked them up afterwards. No after parties. My daughter is an athlete and had an early practice the following day so she couldn't have gone to a party afterwards anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - the thing is, at Whitman, there is no dance. HoCo is all the other stuff, without a dance to sort of provide a central component. The person who mentioned affluence is right. Parents are footing - or at least fronting - all of this. I wish they'd all band together and just put a stop to the excess, on all levels. Fortunately, it appears no disasters occurred. But, it could so easily happen (I know it can other weekends too.)

Hang on, there's not even a dance? Was there a football game? Otherwise this doesn't even seem like "homecoming" just a random weekend ($$$$$) party...

+1
What?! OP is right this is madness. Who are the parents that are organizing this stuff?

Yep - to reiterate, no dance at Whitman. Parent-organized (or kid-organized/parent-funded) partying. Obviously not all kids partake, but the traditions are very strong. Lots of party buses/limos. Lots of drinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a freshman at Whitman and don't understand the history. My kid didn't do the busses and all that stuff because apparently "freshman don't get to do that." He did go to the game and the HoCo festival thing that happened after the game, which he said was boring. But why doesn't Whitman have a dance - is there a story there? Has all this other stuff gotten so over the top in part because there isn't even a dance?

History is that dance ended with COVID. The first year back, they didn't resurrect the dance. Instead they have a school-sponsored party on the baseball field after the football game on Friday night. That has now gone on for three years, and it seems like the kids enjoy it (bounce houses, etc.). On the Saturday, self-organized groups do these self-organized gatherings that involve some combination of dressing up (or down, depending how you feel about those dresses), dinner, trip to monuments, parties, etc. And without the dance to anchor it, the ugliness really comes through. Sounds like a lot of kids don't go overboard, and kudos so those with kids who don't transgress. To me, it seems like a parent-sanctioned weekend of debauchery - things going on that other weekends they'd frown upon.

A School wide party sounds like a lot of fun- much more fun than a dance where nobody dances. Do the kids enjoy it?