Are there any downsides to having two last names?

[Anonymous]

I would think twice about changing your name. I changed mine 20+ years ago and although I am happily married, it seems crazy to me that women regularly erase their identity (granted, most of us have our dad’s name - so it’s still a male dominated name even if you keep your maiden name).

I don’t see any real benefit of “having the same last name as a family” but I do see a lot of downsides of name changing.

I also think our society should revisit the tradition that the kids always get the dad’s last name.

[Anonymous]

I added DH’s last name so legally I have 2 last names, although I go by his name professionally and socially and the kids have his last name. Not sure why I did that looking back, but overall it’s not a hassle and people get a kick out of it when they find out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did this OP and am happy with it. BUT- don’t expect many other people, professionally or socially, to go to the trouble of noting your two last names.

Most people will refer to you as Larla Jones.

Once you have kids, people will refer to you as Mrs. Jones, regardless of what you do or want. I kept my last name, and I am regularly called Mrs. Jones. It doesn't bother me, and I admit that I sometimes refer to my children's friend's as Mrs. Jones, even though I know they are Ms. Smith.

[Anonymous]

Just keep your name. My son has his father’s last name and it has never been a problem for us to have different last names, even when traveling internationally with just me. His dad and I divorced when he was really young and he has expressed interest in having my last name, not sure if he will change it or not when he’s 18, and I don’t really care.

[Anonymous]

It's 2023 FFS. Keep your name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work with a man who is single, and is unfortunate enough to have been given a hyphenated last name at birth.

It is so weird and awkward for him. Thankfully his hyphenated names are short and common names, but really his parents should have just picked one or the other.

I think it hurts him professionally. It definitely has caused some issues with his dating life.

Seriously? Why in the world would this cause problems dating?

I got married decades ago and kept my maiden name. It wasn't a problem then and it still isn't a problem. Our kids have been just fine.

[Anonymous]

In situations like this, I am not sure why you wouldn't just keep your name legally the same and just use your husband's last name socially. You can have everyone call you Mrs Jones who knows you outside of work and just keep Ms Smith for work and when you are getting on a plane or signing something.