Is it normal for someone in their thirties to not be financially helping their parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you keep asking this question? What answer are you looking for?

There was a long period of my life where I still needed financial support from my parents when most people my age didn't(through no fault of my own). I've finally managed to become self-supporting, but it now it seems as if most of my peers have moved on from supporting themselves to supporting themselves and their parents. I really feel I deserve a grace-period where I'm on the same level as my peers, even if it's just temporary. I'd like to have at-least till my mid-thirties. But now it seems as though I'm always going to be one step behind my peers.

The thing that makes you seem "behind your peers" is your anxiety and immaturity. When people support their parents, it's because their parents need the money. Not out of some misperception that it's what everyone does in their thirties. Not out of a desire to feel good about yourself. It's about the *other people*, not *you*. See what I mean? Maturity.

[Anonymous]

We paid our mother’s rent for a few years when I was in my 30s. She was ungrateful and mean about the whole thing, so I stopped giving her money. This seems to be a common expectation of parents with a personality disorder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you Asian?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know anyone helping their parents
But many getting help from them

Surely it depends on the circumstances of the people involved? It may be perfectly fine either way if there is a genuine need and one has the resources to help the other. If you live in a society where the rules dictate that you cannot have compassion and help your child or parents, depending on need and abiltiy to help each other - what kind of society do you want? Because, often when we say 'they' should or shouldn't' what you are really saying is that you wouldn't help your child even if you had the resources, or you wouldn't help your parents because you don't want to even though you have the resources. So, the question is, who should help your parents or your child if you are not prepared to do it if you can?

[Anonymous]

I don't know anybody whose adult children are helping them financially, not in my family or among my friends. I also don't think it's normal for adults to be helping their adult kids unless they are disabled and I don't mean addicted. It's just a way of infantilizing your adult child to their detriment.