I hate Homecoming time of year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate this time of year. My DS has zero friends (I have posted about this many times) and I just hate, hate, hate this time of year when Homecoming is at hand and my DS has yet another thing to miss out on. He has asked a few acquaintances if they are going and they told him no (probably not true). Just venting because I get so sad hearing/seeing all the Homecoming prep and photos and knowing how much by DS struggles even trying to make any friends let alone having some right-of-passage type event to go to.

I am so sorry. This makes me really sad. What is the issue? School Not a good fit? I would not just accept that you kid has no friends. There are support groups and ways to find friends. Keep trying and take action to help him. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does it bother him? My DS, who is on the autism spectrum, has no real friends but some acquaintances that he talks to. He never went to homecoming or prom, but he didn’t care.

DD, who is very social, doesn’t really care about rah-rah school events either.

If he feels lonely, work on finding groups that he would be interested in. If he seems content, I wouldn’t worry.

I'm wondering this too. Our oldest was like this in high school, and he played on a varsity sport like OPs, and had Aspberger's (as it was called back then) traits. He was never officially evaluated since he didn't need it for school accommodations, plus DH was very opposed to it, but I recognized the behaviors that led kids to not want to hang out with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. I feel like homecoming is barely even a thing now. My kids don't really care about it.

This. My son is like why would I go to that? My daughter went as a freshman and thought it was awful. I wouldn’t assume his friends are lying. And get off social media.

+1. Life is better without social media.

So much better w/o social media. Although, I guess DCUM is pretty much my social media

[Anonymous]

I have friends whose DS has the same challenges. But none of them seem to experience it as a problem. They just go to the movies together, see concerts together, and seem to be oblivious to the fact that it's really unusual for older teens to only do those things with their mom.

[Anonymous]

I never went and never missed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have friends whose DS has the same challenges. But none of them seem to experience it as a problem. They just go to the movies together, see concerts together, and seem to be oblivious to the fact that it's really unusual for older teens to only do those things with their mom.

I doubt they’re oblivious; they’re likely doing they best they can to help their kid feel connected and engaged. Sometimes there’s no alternative.

I became my kid’s best friend. They didn’t have kids to spend their birthday with, so we went on a day trip that they loved. We made the best of it (many times over).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. I feel like homecoming is barely even a thing now. My kids don't really care about it.

This. My son is like why would I go to that? My daughter went as a freshman and thought it was awful. I wouldn’t assume his friends are lying. And get off social media.

+1. Life is better without social media.

So much better w/o social media. Although, I guess DCUM is pretty much my social media

You don't need social media. Our school is having a "Homecoming Ask Week" next week. There is a "best poster" contest. So now the schools are encouraging it. UGH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. I feel like homecoming is barely even a thing now. My kids don't really care about it.

This. My son is like why would I go to that? My daughter went as a freshman and thought it was awful. I wouldn’t assume his friends are lying. And get off social media.

+1. Life is better without social media.

So much better w/o social media. Although, I guess DCUM is pretty much my social media

You don't need social media. Our school is having a "Homecoming Ask Week" next week. There is a "best poster" contest. So now the schools are encouraging it. UGH.

UGH. that sucks. Sometimes I wonder if anyone in these school administrations is capable of critical thought. Our school just had twin day. It's a girls' school and kids are chronically excluded from cliques, etc. Why on earth do you have to have twin day?

I am by no means a helicopter parent or an "life has to be easy for every teen" parent or any of this. But come on. Why of all the fun things in the world that a school could do, do they have things that are ripe for excluding kids on the fringe?
And my kids are popular. The schools could do better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. I feel like homecoming is barely even a thing now. My kids don't really care about it.

This. My son is like why would I go to that? My daughter went as a freshman and thought it was awful. I wouldn’t assume his friends are lying. And get off social media.

+1. Life is better without social media.

So much better w/o social media. Although, I guess DCUM is pretty much my social media

You don't need social media. Our school is having a "Homecoming Ask Week" next week. There is a "best poster" contest. So now the schools are encouraging it. UGH.

UGH. that sucks. Sometimes I wonder if anyone in these school administrations is capable of critical thought. Our school just had twin day. It's a girls' school and kids are chronically excluded from cliques, etc. Why on earth do you have to have twin day?

I am by no means a helicopter parent or an "life has to be easy for every teen" parent or any of this. But come on. Why of all the fun things in the world that a school could do, do they have things that are ripe for excluding kids on the fringe?
And my kids are popular. The schools could do better.

Ugh. I know. The ask day is obnoxious. Like, how do we make the non popular kids feel as badly about themselves as we can?! I know. . .

[Anonymous]

I got laid at every dance

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. I feel like homecoming is barely even a thing now. My kids don't really care about it.

This. My son is like why would I go to that? My daughter went as a freshman and thought it was awful. I wouldn’t assume his friends are lying. And get off social media.

+1. Life is better without social media.

So much better w/o social media. Although, I guess DCUM is pretty much my social media

You don't need social media. Our school is having a "Homecoming Ask Week" next week. There is a "best poster" contest. So now the schools are encouraging it. UGH.

UGH. that sucks. Sometimes I wonder if anyone in these school administrations is capable of critical thought. Our school just had twin day. It's a girls' school and kids are chronically excluded from cliques, etc. Why on earth do you have to have twin day?

I am by no means a helicopter parent or an "life has to be easy for every teen" parent or any of this. But come on. Why of all the fun things in the world that a school could do, do they have things that are ripe for excluding kids on the fringe?
And my kids are popular. The schools could do better.

Ugh. I know. The ask day is obnoxious. Like, how do we make the non popular kids feel as badly about themselves as we can?! I know. . .

It’s because the administrators’ and teachers’ planning these things are reliving their high school years. The people I know from high school who are high school teachers/administrators organizing these events are very much the kids who were into homecoming and being popular in high school.

Same is true with the parents of my kids’ friends who are ms/hs teachers. I didn’t know them in hs, but they are all about dances and making sure their kids are popular. They also never left the area and their kids will be going to their hs.

[Anonymous]

My son is a freshman and was moderately interested in going but none of his friends are going so he’s opting out. It doesn’t seem like it’s what it once was so wouldn’t be surprised if those acquaintances are telling the truth and they aren’t going either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. I feel like homecoming is barely even a thing now. My kids don't really care about it.

This. My son is like why would I go to that? My daughter went as a freshman and thought it was awful. I wouldn’t assume his friends are lying. And get off social media.

+1. Life is better without social media.

So much better w/o social media. Although, I guess DCUM is pretty much my social media

You don't need social media. Our school is having a "Homecoming Ask Week" next week. There is a "best poster" contest. So now the schools are encouraging it. UGH.

UGH. that sucks. Sometimes I wonder if anyone in these school administrations is capable of critical thought. Our school just had twin day. It's a girls' school and kids are chronically excluded from cliques, etc. Why on earth do you have to have twin day?

I am by no means a helicopter parent or an "life has to be easy for every teen" parent or any of this. But come on. Why of all the fun things in the world that a school could do, do they have things that are ripe for excluding kids on the fringe?
And my kids are popular. The schools could do better.

Awful.

[Anonymous]

My DD and her friends went to homecoming as freshmen and sophomores and thought it was ridiculously boring both times. Now, as juniors, they are getting together and baking cookies instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Focus on helping your son get friends!! Parents can and should do a lot.

+1000