I hate being stuck at $230k HHI and feel poor AF

[Anonymous]

So many of these "I make [extremely respectable income] and feel poor!" threads are actually about cash flow and money allocation, they have nothing to do with whether that's "enough" money to live comfortably. There should be a sticky on this forum explaining the difference.

OP and spouse have more than enough. But one of the first things they acknowledge is that they "do this to themselves" by maxing out their 401k and saving very aggressively for retirement. Granted, there are major tax benefits to doing it this way, but if it's making you "feel poor" consider doing it another way. You can sock away less in a 401k and pull more into regular savings, and then you have multiple options for what to do with that money at various degrees of liquidity. I'd put some of it in a high interest savings account and/or a ladder CD right now, however much I felt I needed to keep very liquid for emergencies like the car repair. Right now you can get 5%, sometimes better, on both of those, which is amazing. Then I'd be looking at various investment options. I like to work through Vanguard because I'm on the conservative end and I find their offerings match my goals really well, but you can shop around.

OP's problem is not that they don't make enough money. It's that they take a very childish approach to financial planning and they are not making their money work for them. Do some freaking research! It makes sense to just max out your 401k when you are making decent money in your 20s, you're single, and you are worried that otherwise you'll just overspend. It's a good "set it and forget it" way to manage money so that you don't totally screw yourself.

But by your 30s, and especially once you are married and own a home, you should be thinking in a more sophisticated way about this. By that point, you should have some self discipline and you don't have to hide your money from yourself to keep from spending it.

Anyway, OP and others need to stop complaining "I'm poor" and actually learn some financial management. They hold all the keys to their financial success and happiness in their hands. More money is always nice, but at their income it's not necessary, especially without kids (literally saving hundreds of thousands of dollars there!). I think people with kids are sometimes smarter about this because having kids forces you to think longterm and you have to diversify to plan for college, bigger house, etc. OP is still operating financially like they did at 22. Grow up.

Similar to the thread with the first year Big Law partner (who, granted, had way more self awareness about what the actual issue was). This is a cash flow concern. That's always solvable. Stop complaining and just do it. It's your money, figure it out. No one is going to feel sorry for you.

[Anonymous]

That's so interesting because we make just $20K more than you, have two elementary-aged kids, have a new (6% interest) $800K mortgage, and have no problem spending and saving money. What are you spending your money on, OP?

p.s. We know you're a troll and are just indulging you on a Saturday morning, sweetie pie.

[Anonymous]

Lady, you are maxing out your 401k. That alone makes you wealthy. You sound really, really, really stupid.

[Anonymous]

Interesting how Trolly McTrollerson didn't mention anything about savings. That's how you know she's a troll. She talks about all her expenses but not what she does with her leftover money.

TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT

(and a really, really dumb troll at that)

[Anonymous]

You need to work on budgeting. Use Mint or YNAB.

Then go have your husband ask for a raise or get a new job.

How old are you?

[Anonymous]

The DMV is expensive. We were always drowning there. We left the area and are living like kings now. We bought a very nice, larger house for $325,000. We usually end each pay period with money still in checking. We rarely have to use the credit card. I don't have to work, because my spouse is paid even more now than when we lived in the DMV. I can focus on the kids. Husband has a 10-minute commute by car.

Our cost of living has gone way down, and our quality of life has gone way up. My only regret is that we moved there at all, it set us back financially by a decade as we treaded water.

All you can do is move out of the area, OP. NOVA in particular is a killer financially.

[Anonymous]

I was on your shoes when I was younger. You and your husband have way different incomes and taxes are eating you alive. When I was younger I has to pay the AMT. I remember my accountant wondering why my tax bill was so high when she had clients that made way more than me. I'm not sure what the amt rules are now.

You are at an age now where you don't have to max out your 401k if you have been maxing since your 20s. You should divert some of that money into your monthly income and short term savings. I also have very expensive health insurance. It covers a lot but it's not cheap. I think my taxes ansd deductions eat up 54% of my pay. I don't feel poor though. You need to change your mindset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's your budget? You bring home probably around $10,000 or $11,000 a month, right? And pay, what, $3000 or $3500 towards your mortgage? Where does the rest of it go?

I wish it were this month per month. After taxes health care and 401k max, $230k is trash income. Like I said, I make about $150k and after taxes, 401k healthcare and all of the deductions, I'm only pulling $5000 per mo. My spouse who makes $72k and who contributes only 13% only pulls home about $3500 per mo after contributions, tax, and other deductions. Total take home is about $8500 per mo. Mortgage is $3100 for a $560k loan at 2.87% interest. Internet 80, gas + electric =$200-300, entertainment on streaming apps = $50, groceries = $500-600 per mo..other crap for gas, clothes etc. Not even counting. Then when you get hit with surprise car and hkuse repairs I just get crushed. I feel so stupidly poor on this salary. How the hell do American families making less than $100k survive? The median hhi is well below $100k, so clearly people with families are doing it. I'm also dumbfounded by the savings levels and invesmtnet levels by people on this forum purportedly to be single moms making $140-170k who claim claim to have $50k in emergency savings, $700k in retirement, and $100k saved for college. Yeah sure, do you ever have a home repair, major car repair, or need a new car? I just can't believe these #s on this forum.

Op, I’m one of those single moms and my HHI is the same as yours. Differences: there is only one of me, so I take home more after social security cap; only one retirement deduction (but, by the same token, less ability to pool savings for retirement); only one car. OTOH I spend time and money on a child and you don’t.

[Anonymous]

OP was a troll mocking UMC people. Don't feed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I make 150k and my spouse around 75k. After yearly bonuses, we pull in about 230k. It sucks. I constantly, constantly feel like we still have to watch our spending and can never relax and spend without worrying. Every time the car or house needs to be fixed, I cringe. Every time I go to the grocery store, I cringe spending $120.

We do not have an insane mortgage. We took out $540k, which is only 2.4x our income....not absurd. A lot of pain is self inflicted....I max out my 401k while my spouse puts away 13%. Yet I constantly feel stretched and feel like we live paycheck to paycheck too much. We have zero kids. I'm reading this forum and seeing people making $150k or so claiming they have $60k in saving for emergencies $700k+ in retirements, and no problems upgrading their house or paying for repairs. Wtf? How is this possible?

If we make this much and feel terrible about finances God help the rest of Americans and their median HHIs below $70k. Basically, no one is saving anything for retirement? I can't imagine needing a $1800 in car repairs and making $70k hhi.

Wow, I’m not sure what you’re doing wrong. We make $225k, have our kid in an excellent private school (full pay) and feel rich.

NP, but how is this possible that you do this and don’t feel pinched? Your after tax, retirement, etc income is probably what, $7k/month? Then subtract mortgage and you are at what, $4500/mo. Further subtract customary life spending of food, sundries, travel (even if just to visit family), healthcare expenses, personal care. Then, add in aftercare and summer camps. Any lessons or activities your kid does. That tallies significantly more than $1k/month.

How on earth could you have a comfortable margin left for the $3500/mo necessary to have your kid in an “excellent private school.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's so interesting because we make just $20K more than you, have two elementary-aged kids, have a new (6% interest) $800K mortgage, and have no problem spending and saving money. What are you spending your money on, OP?

p.s. We know you're a troll and are just indulging you on a Saturday morning, sweetie pie.

I think you are the troll (I am not OP). I wish these posters claiming how easy it is would break down their budgets in their responses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's your budget? You bring home probably around $10,000 or $11,000 a month, right? And pay, what, $3000 or $3500 towards your mortgage? Where does the rest of it go?

I wish it were this month per month. After taxes health care and 401k max, $230k is trash income. Like I said, I make about $150k and after taxes, 401k healthcare and all of the deductions, I'm only pulling $5000 per mo. My spouse who makes $72k and who contributes only 13% only pulls home about $3500 per mo after contributions, tax, and other deductions. Total take home is about $8500 per mo. Mortgage is $3100 for a $560k loan at 2.87% interest. Internet 80, gas + electric =$200-300, entertainment on streaming apps = $50, groceries = $500-600 per mo..other crap for gas, clothes etc. Not even counting. Then when you get hit with surprise car and hkuse repairs I just get crushed. I feel so stupidly poor on this salary. How the hell do American families making less than $100k survive? The median hhi is well below $100k, so clearly people with families are doing it. I'm also dumbfounded by the savings levels and invesmtnet levels by people on this forum purportedly to be single moms making $140-170k who claim claim to have $50k in emergency savings, $700k in retirement, and $100k saved for college. Yeah sure, do you ever have a home repair, major car repair, or need a new car? I just can't believe these #s on this forum.

You are making $150k and your take home pay is only $5k per month? That’s $60k per year. No way! Stop the lies!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: The DMV is expensive. We were always drowning there. We left the area and are living like kings now. We bought a very nice, larger house for $325,000. We usually end each pay period with money still in checking. We rarely have to use the credit card. I don't have to work, because my spouse is paid even more now than when we lived in the DMV. I can focus on the kids. Husband has a 10-minute commute by car.

Our cost of living has gone way down, and our quality of life has gone way up. My only regret is that we moved there at all, it set us back financially by a decade as we treaded water.

All you can do is move out of the area, OP. NOVA in particular is a killer financially.

The median home price nationally is $416K, so $325K is a below-average house pretty much anywhere.

Unless you bought the house a long time ago and it’s now worth a lot more (in which case your purchase price is irrelevant to the OP) – or you live in rural Alabama or a ghost town in Detroit – your post doesn’t add up. There is almost nowhere today where you can buy a “very nice, larger house” for $325K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is an online anonymous forum where most of the people claim to be millionaires with unlimited savings. If you haven’t figured it out by now, most people on this forum are lying about everything, including their financial status. Please don’t compare yourself to the made up numbers people throw out on here.

That’s exactly what OP wanted to prove. This forum is full of liars. The numbers don’t add up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand what you are going on about. We pull in almost the exact same, live in DC, bought a 550k house, have a child, take frequent extravagant vacations and never feel concerned about money, in any way. About 150k squirreled away in savings in addition to IRAs, retirement, college fund etc. You are doing life wrong.

While I agree that OP is being silly, your comment is also out of touch. If you paid $550k for a house in DC then you bought a long time ago. SFHs in DC start at $1m now, and $1m in DC proper is still going to be older, in need of repairs, and/or zoned to bad schools.