Desperate for referrals. We can’t live like this anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shocked at how many people would give their children benadryl off label. Or at all. Our allergist warned us never to use it because it crosses the blood brain barrier and can cause cognitive impairment over time.

Melatonin is a natural hormone your body already makes, also induces feelings of calm and sleep (if you're tired) and doesn't have the same negative effect as benadryl.

Many many psychiatrists will have you use that as a first line of defense. Melatonin won't touch the aggression the OP is describing. If you haven't had a kid like this, you should just stop typing. You think you're helping, but you're not.

[Anonymous]

OP I have never had a pediatrician help with aggression, and we have been through the ringer. Their offices are also not set up to connect you with services. For people that are suggesting that - I wonder if you've ever tried? In my experience, they don't have the specialized knowledge base that you need.

Call your county's Behavioral Health Services - it may be a county government department or it may be outsourced to a non profit. They can get you connected with services the fastest.

Call them and tell them you're at a crisis point and need immediate help. They will do their best. But you can always call mobile crisis if you need immediate support. DC, Maryland, VA all have mobile crisis. Even if it's not immediate they can help guide you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shocked at how many people would give their children benadryl off label. Or at all. Our allergist warned us never to use it because it crosses the blood brain barrier and can cause cognitive impairment over time.

Melatonin is a natural hormone your body already makes, also induces feelings of calm and sleep (if you're tired) and doesn't have the same negative effect as benadryl.

Many many psychiatrists will have you use that as a first line of defense. Melatonin won't touch the aggression the OP is describing. If you haven't had a kid like this, you should just stop typing. You think you're helping, but you're not.

+1 Melatonin for a raging kid. Tell me you have no experience with this without telling me you have no experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Use the Benadryl if you need a quick calm. That’s what they use inpatient. Also, a Popsicle to suck on can help calm kids quickly. You should let the school know now what is going on so he get an IEP over the summer.

Um, you can’t hand a child who is throwing chairs a popsicle.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm sorry you're struggling. We've all been in a place where we are scared and desperate. Make the calls, follow the suggestions and I hope you find help quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Use the Benadryl if you need a quick calm. That’s what they use inpatient. Also, a Popsicle to suck on can help calm kids quickly. You should let the school know now what is going on so he get an IEP over the summer.

Um, you can’t hand a child who is throwing chairs a popsicle.

I never tried a popsicle. Melatonin was never used inpatient but they use Benadryl so that's what I used. Benadryl comes in liquid and for a 5 year old I could wrestle him to the ground and get it in his mouth.

OP---many of us have been in your shoes. Mine is now 13. For us it got better around 10. Around 8 he would swallow a pill even in the middle of a rage. He knew that the medication would help him stop and he didn't want to rage and be out of control. Our psych gave me a PRN for clozapine which was very helpful in the moment. At 13, he hasn't needed it in years.

The only way out is through. We will help you get through this. I could not have found the resources I did without DCUM. People on here shared with my therapists, psychiatrists, inpatient experiences, navigating IEPs , how to handle family. This group is a wealth of information from people who have been in the trenches.

[Anonymous]

It's an awful way to live. Make sure all possible physical causes are ruled out - irritability is a sign of celiac disease in children, for example, and getting that diagnosed was one piece of the puzzle for our rage-y DC.

(@PP whose DC was borderline low for several years: anemia is another celiac symptom - if that hasn't been ruled out for your DC (full celiac panel, not just TTG-IGA), it might be worth investigating.)

I second the PPs who asked about strep and PANS/PANDAS (another piece of the puzzle for us); IANAD but it might be worth trying a few doses of ibuprofen (anti-inflammatory) to see if that helps. If it does, then it's possible that your child is in non-obvious pain (headaches?) or has some kind of inflammation issue (PANS/PANDAS?) or both. (I believe Ross Greene's maxim that "kids do well when they can", and if they cannot, then there is some issue they cannot manage going on. You've probably already read The Explosive Child but if not, I highly highly recommend it.)

Not all doctors "believe" in neuroinflammatory issues like PANS/PANDAS (? so weird to me, with Stanford, JHU, Mass General, etc. having PANS/PANDAS clinics...) so you may have to do some extra pushing to get it evaluated. It might not be your issue at all, but it's worth a quick review of the symptoms list to see if it describes your DC.

I wish you luck and a quick road to healing and peace for your family.

[Anonymous]

My son saw a psychiatrist at Neuropsych Wellness Center in Fairfax for a long time - we were paired with him after an inpatient stay at Dominion Hospital. Dominion also offers intensive outpatient programs/partial hospitalization programs for kids. We tried that but it wasn’t enough for my child.

Call both places and see if you can get in for an evaluation soon.

[Anonymous]

My DS was evaluated at Stixrud in Silver Spring. It was for serious ADHD but not violent, so I don't know if this is appropriate for your family. We paid big bucks and got him evaluated quickly. Good luck, OP!

[Anonymous]

OP I don't have any good recs for you as our care is through Kaiser so it wouldn't be helpful but just wanted to say I am thinking of you and your family. Our situation with our 5 year old is not the same, but we deal with aggression too and it is so incredibly hard and scary. Medication has been huge in our case (had to try two to find the right one) and we were able to get it without a neuropsych etc., just through a child psychiatrist (Kaiser so again not helpful), but just saying I agree with your approach to try to get some medication on board so you can lower from crisis mode to problem solving mode. Wishing you luck. The winter was our awful time and after starting medication in the spring things are really looking up around here so I hope the same for you in summer. Agree with all the recommendations for school and Child Find. Child Find process was great and we are now set up with an IEP for kindergarten but it did take a few months. And it won't solve the medication problem.

[Anonymous]

Oh wait I do have one rec you could try. Dr. Pamela Compart - Developmental ped. We did not work with her so I can't speak personally, but she was recommended by a mom in my neighborhood with kids with ADHD/ASD. I called her maybe a year and a half ago and left a message, she seriously called me back like an hour later I was amazed. At the time we ended up not pursuing for a variety of reasons I don't need to go into (that had nothing to do with her). But thought it was worth sharing since she was willing to try to get us in. She practices functional medicine so I will be honest I don't know how legit but she can prescribe (board certified MD) and is in Columbia MD.

I also wouldn't waste too much time on the regular pediatrician. There is no way in any reality any pediatrician will be able to provide what you need. That doesn't mean what your current ped is doing is ok, absolutely not. Most could provide much better care but it just isn't worht your precious resources to be working on that. Work on the psychiatrist and other mental health professionals that you need in your corner.

Final rec - if it is at all possible for you, just right now say we're going to throw a lot of money at this and pay for out of pocket providers as needed if they are the right fit and then go back to our insurance when things settle down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I have never had a pediatrician help with aggression, and we have been through the ringer. Their offices are also not set up to connect you with services. For people that are suggesting that - I wonder if you've ever tried? In my experience, they don't have the specialized knowledge base that you need.

Call your county's Behavioral Health Services - it may be a county government department or it may be outsourced to a non profit. They can get you connected with services the fastest.

Call them and tell them you're at a crisis point and need immediate help. They will do their best. But you can always call mobile crisis if you need immediate support. DC, Maryland, VA all have mobile crisis. Even if it's not immediate they can help guide you.

Our pediatrician has never been able to help but they have helped us get an earlier appointment with a specialist by calling them directly and attesting to the seriousness of the situation. Not actually for this but for another very serious situation I was given an appointment waayyy far out as the first available but when we let the pediatrician know what was going on they called directly and got us in with a few days. I didn’t ask - they just understood that occasionally kids can’t wait. Maybe we are just lucky with our pediatrician but I have heard other people have this experience too so I don’t think it’s that rare.

[Anonymous]

Again, NBU at kennedy Krieger is designed for this exact scenario.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shocked at how many people would give their children benadryl off label. Or at all. Our allergist warned us never to use it because it crosses the blood brain barrier and can cause cognitive impairment over time.

Melatonin is a natural hormone your body already makes, also induces feelings of calm and sleep (if you're tired) and doesn't have the same negative effect as benadryl.

Many many psychiatrists will have you use that as a first line of defense. Melatonin won't touch the aggression the OP is describing. If you haven't had a kid like this, you should just stop typing. You think you're helping, but you're not.

I do have a kid like that, I'm pp. You put him in his room and sit at the door (on the inside) to make sure he doesn't throw anything through the windows or hurt himself. You don't react but you do give hugs when he's ready. You do give melatonin and you don't dope your kid up with an off label use that doctors (should) know better than to recommend in 2023
Ice had bruises and bloody noses from my son. His walls still need repairing. But I never gave him a substance knowing it damages his brain. Sorry bud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shocked at how many people would give their children benadryl off label. Or at all. Our allergist warned us never to use it because it crosses the blood brain barrier and can cause cognitive impairment over time.

Melatonin is a natural hormone your body already makes, also induces feelings of calm and sleep (if you're tired) and doesn't have the same negative effect as benadryl.

Melatonin can interfere with sex hormones in boys and can affect puberty amongst other things. Please read about its dangers.