Why do parents let their kids go to drinking parties (or even worse, host them!) in high school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people think that drinking and screwing around in their teens was a highlight of their lives, so they don’t care if their kids are doing it.

It’s moreso that kids go to college at 17/18, they’re suddenly out from under their mom’s thumb & go wild.

The kids who are wild in high school are wild in college also

+1 and the kids who aren’t wild in high school don’t become wild in college. At least that was my experience.

Yup 100%

I disagree completely.

I went to a conservative Baptist high school but had more moderate parents. Many of my classmates came from super strict households. Fast forward to college and most of them went nuts freshman year: alcohol, sex, drugs, etc. It was like they were crossing every vice off their list as fast as they could. I actually didn't do any of those things in high school either but it wasn't because my parents were telling me at every turn that I couldn't do them. There is something to be said for letting teens make their own decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL on the psychos not planning to let their kids out of their sight or even drive a car until 18. Insane.

Nobody is doing that. There is a difference between saying "you can't go to that party if there is going to be alcohol there" and making them stay home all the time.

Although I don't think I will let my kids drive a car before they are 18. Considering how dangerous cars are, it's actually insane we let 16 year olds drive!

When someone posted you can’t watch them 24x7, OP SMsaid that she intended to never let her teen out by themselves.

They will go to the mall with mom and dad.

It’s actually less safe to wait until 18. 16 is 16 for a reason, kids get small doses of driving and have 2 years to practice before becoming adults driving regularly.

Is this just a theory or is there evidence to back it up?

FWIW I am in a very urban area where traffic patters are complicated and people crash and hit pedestrians on a regular basis. I'd feel okay with my kids driving at 16 if I was in a planned city with straight roads and fewer pedestrians.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people think that drinking and screwing around in their teens was a highlight of their lives, so they don’t care if their kids are doing it.

It’s moreso that kids go to college at 17/18, they’re suddenly out from under their mom’s thumb & go wild.

The kids who are wild in high school are wild in college also

+1 and the kids who aren’t wild in high school don’t become wild in college. At least that was my experience.

Yup 100%

I disagree completely.

I went to a conservative Baptist high school but had more moderate parents. Many of my classmates came from super strict households. Fast forward to college and most of them went nuts freshman year: alcohol, sex, drugs, etc. It was like they were crossing every vice off their list as fast as they could. I actually didn't do any of those things in high school either but it wasn't because my parents were telling me at every turn that I couldn't do them. There is something to be said for letting teens make their own decisions.

What I observed from my high school sample set: kids with really permissive parents drank or did drugs because they could. Kids with very strict parents acted out by sneaking out of the house to drink/do drugs/etc. Kids with parents who were more middle lane—not too strict, not too permissive—were pretty moderate in their behavior.

Not all kids of course, but generally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL on the psychos not planning to let their kids out of their sight or even drive a car until 18. Insane.

Nobody is doing that. There is a difference between saying "you can't go to that party if there is going to be alcohol there" and making them stay home all the time.

Although I don't think I will let my kids drive a car before they are 18. Considering how dangerous cars are, it's actually insane we let 16 year olds drive!

When someone posted you can’t watch them 24x7, OP SMsaid that she intended to never let her teen out by themselves.

They will go to the mall with mom and dad.

It’s actually less safe to wait until 18. 16 is 16 for a reason, kids get small doses of driving and have 2 years to practice before becoming adults driving regularly.

Is this just a theory or is there evidence to back it up?

FWIW I am in a very urban area where traffic patters are complicated and people crash and hit pedestrians on a regular basis. I'd feel okay with my kids driving at 16 if I was in a planned city with straight roads and fewer pedestrians.

Just her theory with zero evidence. So typical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a full bar at our house and e entertain a lot. My kid have grown up around alcohol being served at all celebratory occasions. However, since we are very much present parents and very clued in to what is going on in their live, they have not been tempted to drink. Other thing - we don't drink at our house casually. No glass of wine in the evening, no beer on Sundays etc. so they do not think that alcohol is a big deal and they do not drink even when they have been offered. They have certainly tasted and they have tested their limits in college or breach week - but that is not their jam mainly because children emulate their parents. Finally, we have many talks about addiction and abuse so they are aware of that aspect.

There is no chance that alcohol would be served to kids or young adults at our house. Ever. I think parents who do that are trash.

Same here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents hosting these parties are alcoholics themselves, and probably in denial that they are alcoholics.

Agree.

Winner winner chicken dinner!