Teen’s dirty laundry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the laundry person at home. I do everyone's laundry daily. I sort, use different settings and products for different loads, fold and put away. I probably run 2-3 loads every day. I have two washers for different sized loads and they are a bl

My teen is in college nearby and he brings his clothes, towels and bedsheets home every week, and I do his laundry and fold it for him. Interestingly, he had taught other boys to do their laundry in his dorm and how to fold clothes. Why does he not do his laundry at school? He says it is because students forget their clothes in the washer and it becomes moldy and gross. Also, some drunk person threw up in one of the washing machines. But the truth is that I am the laundry person at home. I do all the laundry from clothes to bedsheet, towels, bathmats, from bookbags to uggs boots/sneakers.

He also tells me gory tales of how some students live like pigs with their floor completely covered with trash. They never change their bedsheets and keep using the same towels. My son is a neat freak and so is his roommate. Their dorm room is neat that it is the default room for get togethers. The girls don't like to go to stinky and gross rooms.

I have certain expectations from my family members about their work and education, but household chores is really not one of them. However, my DH and kids, know how to clean the house, do laundry, cook food and iron their clothes - and will work alongside me if I ask them to. It is just that when I am around they do not have to do it.

Congrats? You’ve raised a nonfunctional child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really appreciated that my Mom did my laundry until I left for college (don’t worry, I figured it out quickly, it’s not hard). My kids have lots of chores but their laundry isn’t one of them. Honestly I feel like some kids, especially 8-13 year old boys would not even care about the consequences of wearing dirty clothes and you’d just be punishing every one around them by stinking.

Me too. My mom never let us do laundry because she could not afford a new machine Id we broke it. But it’s not like it’s a hard skill to acquire and I was used to having clean clothes so easily made the transition to washing them myself. I’d worry that living in dirty clothes is just habituating them to that. Like letting a puppy go in his own crate. My kids do lots of chores including vacuuming the house and scrubbing their own showers and toilets. But I do the laundry because I don’t want them to smell and I don’t want my laundry filter clogged with candy wrappers and burst pens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the laundry person at home. I do everyone's laundry daily. I sort, use different settings and products for different loads, fold and put away. I probably run 2-3 loads every day. I have two washers for different sized loads and they are a bl

My teen is in college nearby and he brings his clothes, towels and bedsheets home every week, and I do his laundry and fold it for him. Interestingly, he had taught other boys to do their laundry in his dorm and how to fold clothes. Why does he not do his laundry at school? He says it is because students forget their clothes in the washer and it becomes moldy and gross. Also, some drunk person threw up in one of the washing machines. But the truth is that I am the laundry person at home. I do all the laundry from clothes to bedsheet, towels, bathmats, from bookbags to uggs boots/sneakers.

He also tells me gory tales of how some students live like pigs with their floor completely covered with trash. They never change their bedsheets and keep using the same towels. My son is a neat freak and so is his roommate. Their dorm room is neat that it is the default room for get togethers. The girls don't like to go to stinky and gross rooms.

I have certain expectations from my family members about their work and education, but household chores is really not one of them. However, my DH and kids, know how to clean the house, do laundry, cook food and iron their clothes - and will work alongside me if I ask them to. It is just that when I am around they do not have to do it.

Congrats? You’ve raised a nonfunctional child.

I know right? And a judgemental no functional child. Yikes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is always a surprise for me to learn that lots of you do individual laundry. How does this work? Multiple mini loads (assuming you separate whites)? Isn’t this wasteful? Maybe it is because I come from another country but we have always done our laundry together: whites, darks, towels and bedsheets, each one in a different load. We rotate who does it, my kids do their share, and then each one is responsible to fold and put away their own clothes.

You really don’t get it?

Each person has their own laundry basket. When it’s full, they wash all their clothes together. If it’s a light load they might add their towel.

Is this really that hard to understand? How did you do laundry when you were single? I’m guessing you didn’t do all your roommates laundry because “it’s easier to do them together.” Yet somehow, you want us to believe that getting married suddenly makes it “easier” to do chores for multiple adults than for one. Sure. Whatever you need to tell yourself.

[Anonymous]

OMG it’s 7:15 and he has still not started. Will he be taking gross clothes on his trip?

Is this plain and simple opposition defiance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG it’s 7:15 and he has still not started. Will he be taking gross clothes on his trip?

Is this plain and simple opposition defiance?

Goodness...I don't think so. I have/had teens. My guess is, he's got a lot going on (school, activities, possibly a job) and sometimes, it's just overload.

In this case, I'd help him out and do the laundry so he has clean clothes for his trip. When he gets back-instruct him to wash his dirty clothes immediately.

Look, my 19 yo is just starting to get a good handle on her laundry. She goes to school and works 2 jobs, and she's learning to manage everything. At 17 and in HS, she wasn't quite there. Don't worry. I have an adult dc also and he does his laundry and keeps a tidy apt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG it’s 7:15 and he has still not started. Will he be taking gross clothes on his trip?

Is this plain and simple opposition defiance?

Stop stealing the OP's thread!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the laundry person at home. I do everyone's laundry daily. I sort, use different settings and products for different loads, fold and put away. I probably run 2-3 loads every day. I have two washers for different sized loads and they are a bl

My teen is in college nearby and he brings his clothes, towels and bedsheets home every week, and I do his laundry and fold it for him. Interestingly, he had taught other boys to do their laundry in his dorm and how to fold clothes. Why does he not do his laundry at school? He says it is because students forget their clothes in the washer and it becomes moldy and gross. Also, some drunk person threw up in one of the washing machines. But the truth is that I am the laundry person at home. I do all the laundry from clothes to bedsheet, towels, bathmats, from bookbags to uggs boots/sneakers.

He also tells me gory tales of how some students live like pigs with their floor completely covered with trash. They never change their bedsheets and keep using the same towels. My son is a neat freak and so is his roommate. Their dorm room is neat that it is the default room for get togethers. The girls don't like to go to stinky and gross rooms.

I have certain expectations from my family members about their work and education, but household chores is really not one of them. However, my DH and kids, know how to clean the house, do laundry, cook food and iron their clothes - and will work alongside me if I ask them to. It is just that when I am around they do not have to do it.

Congrats? You’ve raised a nonfunctional child.

Nope, I have raised a kid who knows how to outsource his chores and knows that he has to be a high earner in the future.

Most college kids who were supposed to be functional because they were doing their own laundry since 5 yrs old, have become non-functional and dirty in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take the laundry basket and dump it all over the lawn

Why?

Op just let him deal with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the laundry person at home. I do everyone's laundry daily. I sort, use different settings and products for different loads, fold and put away. I probably run 2-3 loads every day. I have two washers for different sized loads and they are a bl

My teen is in college nearby and he brings his clothes, towels and bedsheets home every week, and I do his laundry and fold it for him. Interestingly, he had taught other boys to do their laundry in his dorm and how to fold clothes. Why does he not do his laundry at school? He says it is because students forget their clothes in the washer and it becomes moldy and gross. Also, some drunk person threw up in one of the washing machines. But the truth is that I am the laundry person at home. I do all the laundry from clothes to bedsheet, towels, bathmats, from bookbags to uggs boots/sneakers.

He also tells me gory tales of how some students live like pigs with their floor completely covered with trash. They never change their bedsheets and keep using the same towels. My son is a neat freak and so is his roommate. Their dorm room is neat that it is the default room for get togethers. The girls don't like to go to stinky and gross rooms.

I have certain expectations from my family members about their work and education, but household chores is really not one of them. However, my DH and kids, know how to clean the house, do laundry, cook food and iron their clothes - and will work alongside me if I ask them to. It is just that when I am around they do not have to do it.

Congrats? You’ve raised a nonfunctional child.

I know right? And a judgemental no functional child. Yikes

Well, as long as they have good judgement its fine for them to be judgmental. Either clean yourself or outsource, but FFS, don't live like a pig.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take the laundry basket and dump it all over the lawn

Why?

Op just let him deal with it.

Some of these teens will grow up to have abusive partners. If they become used to their parents dumping their clothes all over the lawn, they will be able to handle partner abuse much better later in life.

[Anonymous]

Op I wouldn't tolerate the flat out filth. Take his phone etc until he does his laundry. Or do it but have him do another chore to get his clothes back. Maybe clean the kitchen tonight to repay you for your time.

Make it clear that it has to be tonight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD17 has taken to stealing my socks and underwear (gross!) when she runs out. So I kind of compromise and dig out and wash a few pairs of her underwear and socks along with my laundry.

My 17 Son steals socks and underwear from his younger brother and his dad. My younger son doesn't care but dad gets so pissed.

I normally wash underwear and socks for everyone because I can't stand the smell of dirty socks around.

[Anonymous]

underwear and socks should not be washed with other clothes ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is always a surprise for me to learn that lots of you do individual laundry. How does this work? Multiple mini loads (assuming you separate whites)? Isn’t this wasteful? Maybe it is because I come from another country but we have always done our laundry together: whites, darks, towels and bedsheets, each one in a different load. We rotate who does it, my kids do their share, and then each one is responsible to fold and put away their own clothes.

You really don’t get it?

Each person has their own laundry basket. When it’s full, they wash all their clothes together. If it’s a light load they might add their towel.

Is this really that hard to understand? How did you do laundry when you were single? I’m guessing you didn’t do all your roommates laundry because “it’s easier to do them together.” Yet somehow, you want us to believe that getting married suddenly makes it “easier” to do chores for multiple adults than for one. Sure. Whatever you need to tell yourself.

NP here, 3rd gen American. YOU don't get it. Laundry should be separated since darks can bleed into whites, lint producers (towels, flannel) onto lint attracting fabrics, jeans and other heavy items can damage lighter fabrics plus take longer to dry, etc. Your way may be the best for you but not the right way.