What's the Most Obnoxious Thing You've Heard a Parent Say at Your DC's Private School?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:At a parents' dinner, a parent of a student who receives full FA said that her child detests the food in the dining hall. I thught her comment was offensive in the way that looking a gift horse in the mouth is.


I don't necessarily agree. I grew up on FA and my DCs now pay full tuition. While I didn't complain at college, I don't begrudge someone for complaining about the food. May really be bad.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Question, PP. How do you know that the child is on full FA?

Anonymous wrote:At a parents' dinner, a parent of a student who receives full FA said that her child detests the food in the dining hall. I thught her comment was offensive in the way that looking a gift horse in the mouth is.


Everyone knows her child is on full FA because she tells everyone so. To respond to the negative comments some of you have posted: First, I think it is impolite for anyone who is receiving a gift to criticize it. Second, I think it is also impolite to comment negatively on the food that eveyone at table is sharing, especially, as in this case, when the negative comment is made in response to someone else's praise of the food. Therefore, I would have found her comment annoying even if her son had not been receiving the food by the largesse of the school.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Question, PP. How do you know that the child is on full FA?

Anonymous wrote:At a parents' dinner, a parent of a student who receives full FA said that her child detests the food in the dining hall. I thught her comment was offensive in the way that looking a gift horse in the mouth is.


Everyone knows her child is on full FA because she tells everyone so. To respond to the negative comments some of you have posted: First, I think it is impolite for anyone who is receiving a gift to criticize it. Second, I think it is also impolite to comment negatively on the food that eveyone at table is sharing, especially, as in this case, when the negative comment is made in response to someone else's praise of the food. Therefore, I would have found her comment annoying even if her son had not been receiving the food by the largesse of the school.


Full FA is not a gift, or "largesse." It is financial aid. They applied for financial aid, they got it. Once in, they are full members of the community, with the same rights and responsibilities as any other member of the community, paying or not.

As such, and regardless of the family's financial status, or the aid they receive (or not) from the school, they have the right to criticize, complain, defend their child's interests, use up resources, contribute resources, stay, or leave, or whatever. The fact of being on FA does not mean that they have fewer rights than e.g. you do to participate in the life of the school (in whatever way, for good or for bad). It just means they are on FA.
Anonymous
Thought I was doing a fellow parent's son a favor by telling the parent that my son had told me that hers was doing something at school that violated the honor code. The father, a lawyer, called me and I was astonished to find him in full lawyer mode. His first words to me was a question asked as if I were a witness under cross-examination:

"What is your son's exposure in this?"

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:At a parents' dinner, a parent of a student who receives full FA said that her child detests the food in the dining hall. I thught her comment was offensive in the way that looking a gift horse in the mouth is.


I don't necessarily agree. I grew up on FA and my DCs now pay full tuition. While I didn't complain at college, I don't begrudge someone for complaining about the food. May really be bad.


But it would never be as bad as public school food, at least in MCPS's. I know from experience.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Question, PP. How do you know that the child is on full FA?

Anonymous wrote:At a parents' dinner, a parent of a student who receives full FA said that her child detests the food in the dining hall. I thught her comment was offensive in the way that looking a gift horse in the mouth is.


Everyone knows her child is on full FA because she tells everyone so. To respond to the negative comments some of you have posted: First, I think it is impolite for anyone who is receiving a gift to criticize it. Second, I think it is also impolite to comment negatively on the food that eveyone at table is sharing, especially, as in this case, when the negative comment is made in response to someone else's praise of the food. Therefore, I would have found her comment annoying even if her son had not been receiving the food by the largesse of the school.


Full FA is not a gift, or "largesse." It is financial aid. They applied for financial aid, they got it. Once in, they are full members of the community, with the same rights and responsibilities as any other member of the community, paying or not.

As such, and regardless of the family's financial status, or the aid they receive (or not) from the school, they have the right to criticize, complain, defend their child's interests, use up resources, contribute resources, stay, or leave, or whatever. The fact of being on FA does not mean that they have fewer rights than e.g. you do to participate in the life of the school (in whatever way, for good or for bad). It just means they are on FA.


I disagree. I found it obnoxious.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Question, PP. How do you know that the child is on full FA?

Anonymous wrote:At a parents' dinner, a parent of a student who receives full FA said that her child detests the food in the dining hall. I thught her comment was offensive in the way that looking a gift horse in the mouth is.


Everyone knows her child is on full FA because she tells everyone so. To respond to the negative comments some of you have posted: First, I think it is impolite for anyone who is receiving a gift to criticize it. Second, I think it is also impolite to comment negatively on the food that eveyone at table is sharing, especially, as in this case, when the negative comment is made in response to someone else's praise of the food. Therefore, I would have found her comment annoying even if her son had not been receiving the food by the largesse of the school.


Right - so she was being impolite by criticizing the food in front of someone who had just praised it. That makes her someone with bad manners. The fact that her kid is on full FA has nothing to do with that.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Question, PP. How do you know that the child is on full FA?

Anonymous wrote:At a parents' dinner, a parent of a student who receives full FA said that her child detests the food in the dining hall. I thught her comment was offensive in the way that looking a gift horse in the mouth is.


Everyone knows her child is on full FA because she tells everyone so. To respond to the negative comments some of you have posted: First, I think it is impolite for anyone who is receiving a gift to criticize it. Second, I think it is also impolite to comment negatively on the food that eveyone at table is sharing, especially, as in this case, when the negative comment is made in response to someone else's praise of the food. Therefore, I would have found her comment annoying even if her son had not been receiving the food by the largesse of the school.


Right - so she was being impolite by criticizing the food in front of someone who had just praised it. That makes her someone with bad manners. The fact that her kid is on full FA has nothing to do with that.


No, her child's receiving the food as a gift from the school has everything to do with its being bad manners to criticize it.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I wrote 13:18 and i also have an autistic child, high functioning, so I can tell 14:36 that NONE of the parents who I've seen ask these questions have autistic children. My autistic child goes to a mainstream school and you can bet that any questions I have about his needs I'll ask in private. And even though he taught himself how to read when he was 3 and is advanced academically, I have never asked this question, "my child is gifted, I need to know if you can challenge him." he is challenged enough learning the social rules of school, attending, handling transitions. And once learning became more abstract, that involved challenges as well.

Often parents of autistic children can be blinded by their gifts. I'm not saying this is you, but my child's giftedness is not the source of his challenges. His autism is. Thats what I need his school to attend to.

And this other parents who are simply bragging, yes I do feel embarrassed for them.


Will all do respect....

I think you should take your advice as well. Do not be so focused on your child's challenges that you are blinded by them and fail to recognize and support his gifts. Your child's school should attend to his gifts and challenges. If your child finds joy in being challenged academically that is a good thing. How upsetting for a child to have their school only focus on what is difficult and not let them rise to the occassion on things that they are naturally inclined to do.

I think it is very inappropriate for a parent to ask about this in a group setting but I wouldn't hold it against them if they did. But I also think it is very appropriate for a parent of a gifted child (regardless of any dual exceptionality including autism) to ask a school how they would accomodate his gifts.

Gifted kids are special needs as well and parents need to advocate for them. I would hope that parents of all types of special needs kids would be kindred spirits rather than judging intentions.


PP again. I realize we've gone off on a tangent, I just don't like to be lectured on how to raise my DC with HFA. And I resent this idea that I am keeping joy from my happy child. You have no idea how I am raising him. You can bet that when he was a fluent reader in K and 1st, and other children were learning how to read, I had private conversations with the teachers about meeting his needs. I would NEVER have stood up in a group of parents and said "my child is a fluent reader, how will you meet his needs." That's just bragging. And I have seen it so many times and I do hold it against the parents.

I thought at first that you might be a particularly defensive parent of a child with autism, but if you are lecturing me in this way, my guess is that you are not.


This is why I said what I said. I'm sorry to have upset you.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Question, PP. How do you know that the child is on full FA?

Anonymous wrote:At a parents' dinner, a parent of a student who receives full FA said that her child detests the food in the dining hall. I thught her comment was offensive in the way that looking a gift horse in the mouth is.


Everyone knows her child is on full FA because she tells everyone so. To respond to the negative comments some of you have posted: First, I think it is impolite for anyone who is receiving a gift to criticize it. Second, I think it is also impolite to comment negatively on the food that eveyone at table is sharing, especially, as in this case, when the negative comment is made in response to someone else's praise of the food. Therefore, I would have found her comment annoying even if her son had not been receiving the food by the largesse of the school.


Right - so she was being impolite by criticizing the food in front of someone who had just praised it. That makes her someone with bad manners. The fact that her kid is on full FA has nothing to do with that.


Let us agree to disagree. You believe that someone on FA should be grateful and keep their mouth shut about any issue they have with the school, including the quality of the food. I believe that whether or not someone is receiving FA (which I don't consider a "gift") is irrelevant to whether they have the right to criticize anything about the school they wish.

No, her child's receiving the food as a gift from the school has everything to do with its being bad manners to criticize it.
Anonymous
When I was in HS (big 3), we were playing in the front yard of my friend's large home and his father (hi-powered exec) pointed at a black squirrel running across the grass and said "hey, look... a <insert n-word> squirrel."
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:When I was in HS (big 3), we were playing in the front yard of my friend's large home and his father (hi-powered exec) pointed at a black squirrel running across the grass and said "hey, look... a <insert n-word> squirrel."


wow, that's really bad. you win
Anonymous



PP again. I realize we've gone off on a tangent, I just don't like to be lectured on how to raise my DC with HFA. And I resent this idea that I am keeping joy from my happy child. You have no idea how I am raising him. You can bet that when he was a fluent reader in K and 1st, and other children were learning how to read, I had private conversations with the teachers about meeting his needs. I would NEVER have stood up in a group of parents and said "my child is a fluent reader, how will you meet his needs." That's just bragging. And I have seen it so many times and I do hold it against the parents.

I thought at first that you might be a particularly defensive parent of a child with autism, but if you are lecturing me in this way, my guess is that you are not.

This is why I said what I said. I'm sorry to have upset you.



I also didn't intend to imply this. That is terrible....I'm sorry.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Question, PP. How do you know that the child is on full FA?

Anonymous wrote:At a parents' dinner, a parent of a student who receives full FA said that her child detests the food in the dining hall. I thught her comment was offensive in the way that looking a gift horse in the mouth is.


Everyone knows her child is on full FA because she tells everyone so. To respond to the negative comments some of you have posted: First, I think it is impolite for anyone who is receiving a gift to criticize it. Second, I think it is also impolite to comment negatively on the food that eveyone at table is sharing, especially, as in this case, when the negative comment is made in response to someone else's praise of the food. Therefore, I would have found her comment annoying even if her son had not been receiving the food by the largesse of the school.


Full FA is not a gift, or "largesse." It is financial aid. They applied for financial aid, they got it. Once in, they are full members of the community, with the same rights and responsibilities as any other member of the community, paying or not.

As such, and regardless of the family's financial status, or the aid they receive (or not) from the school, they have the right to criticize, complain, defend their child's interests, use up resources, contribute resources, stay, or leave, or whatever. The fact of being on FA does not mean that they have fewer rights than e.g. you do to participate in the life of the school (in whatever way, for good or for bad). It just means they are on FA.


I disagree. I found it obnoxious.


I know you found it obnoxious; you have made that clear.

What do you disagree with, specifically? Do you think that someone on FA does not have the right to criticize anything at the school?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Question, PP. How do you know that the child is on full FA?

Anonymous wrote:At a parents' dinner, a parent of a student who receives full FA said that her child detests the food in the dining hall. I thught her comment was offensive in the way that looking a gift horse in the mouth is.


Everyone knows her child is on full FA because she tells everyone so. To respond to the negative comments some of you have posted: First, I think it is impolite for anyone who is receiving a gift to criticize it. Second, I think it is also impolite to comment negatively on the food that eveyone at table is sharing, especially, as in this case, when the negative comment is made in response to someone else's praise of the food. Therefore, I would have found her comment annoying even if her son had not been receiving the food by the largesse of the school.


Right - so she was being impolite by criticizing the food in front of someone who had just praised it. That makes her someone with bad manners. The fact that her kid is on full FA has nothing to do with that.


No, her child's receiving the food as a gift from the school has everything to do with its being bad manners to criticize it.


The food is not a gift from the school. Good grief. And she wasn't criticizing it, she was talking about her kid--maybe she was complaining about her kid being picky, maybe she was out of line. We don't know, we weren't there. And the original poster of this (who sounds like a real pampered peach, hope it's not DS's school), is doling out "new" info to try to make herself sound better.....yeah, right it's working
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