What's the Most Obnoxious Thing You've Heard a Parent Say at Your DC's Private School?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wrote 13:18 and i also have an autistic child, high functioning, so I can tell 14:36 that NONE of the parents who I've seen ask these questions have autistic children. My autistic child goes to a mainstream school and you can bet that any questions I have about his needs I'll ask in private. And even though he taught himself how to read when he was 3 and is advanced academically, I have never asked this question, "my child is gifted, I need to know if you can challenge him." he is challenged enough learning the social rules of school, attending, handling transitions. And once learning became more abstract, that involved challenges as well.

Often parents of autistic children can be blinded by their gifts. I'm not saying this is you, but my child's giftedness is not the source of his challenges. His autism is. Thats what I need his school to attend to.

And this other parents who are simply bragging, yes I do feel embarrassed for them.

Will all do respect....

I think you should take your advice as well. Do not be so focused on your child's challenges that you are blinded by them and fail to recognize and support his gifts. Your child's school should attend to his gifts and challenges. If your child finds joy in being challenged academically that is a good thing. How upsetting for a child to have their school only focus on what is difficult and not let them rise to the occassion on things that they are naturally inclined to do.

I think it is very inappropriate for a parent to ask about this in a group setting but I wouldn't hold it against them if they did. But I also think it is very appropriate for a parent of a gifted child (regardless of any dual exceptionality including autism) to ask a school how they would accomodate his gifts.

Gifted kids are special needs as well and parents need to advocate for them. I would hope that parents of all types of special needs kids would be kindred spirits rather than judging intentions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine was not in a private school setting but at my 3 yr old son's soccer practice. He was taking the orange cones and instead of dribbling around them, placing them on his head and being goofy. Another little boy was watching him and then started to do it too (obviously he thought it was fun). I smiled at his mom and she gave me a curt smile back, but I later I saw her take her son aside and tell him that he shouldn't play with my son. I felt really sorry for her kid - our kids were having fun.

Well, obviously he wouldn't get into Harvard if the admissions office ever saw him with pictures of those cones on his head....

Although seriously, so much for that kid enjoying some creative play!

[Anonymous]

Giftedness is a diagnosis, it's not a component of ASD (although certainly there can be coexistence). If a child has either diagnosis, I expect that the parent would want to know how/whether the school will be accommodating.

I get the not asking in the group issue, but I'm still perplexed about the assumption that people who assert their children are 'gifted' are just bragging/lying.

[Anonymous]

Because *everyone* thinks their child is gifted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once went to a group playdate and several moms had a whole loud conversation about how they HATE Bethany Beach and think the Outer Banks is so much better. Meanwhile there were several other parents, me included, who go to Bethany every summer, who didn't really participate in the conversation and just looked at each other while trying to be polite.

This pretty funny...The Outer Banks, aka "the Redneck Riviera". heh.

I love the OBX, but from now on I will only refer to it as Redneck Riviera! Love that.

[Anonymous]

The redneck riviera is really panhandle of florida and alabama.

[Anonymous]

Hmmmm, where I grew up the "Redneck Riviera" was Panama City Beach...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because *everyone* thinks their child is gifted.

Exactly. Half the parents in the room have a child that scored in the 95th percentile on whatever test they took. And even those who don't really think their own child is gifted will resent your public announcement that your child is smarter than theirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because *everyone* thinks their child is gifted.

EVERYONE! Really, it's true. I teach, and 9 out of 10 of parents think their child is gifted. They are all smart but I have taught only one, just one, truly gifted, off the charts IQ child in 7 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I once went to a group playdate and several moms had a whole loud conversation about how they HATE Bethany Beach and think the Outer Banks is so much better. Meanwhile there were several other parents, me included, who go to Bethany every summer, who didn't really participate in the conversation and just looked at each other while trying to be polite.

Really? That's obnoxious? Saying that you prefer one vacation destination over another? You and I have different definitions of obnoxious, apparently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because *everyone* thinks their child is gifted.

EVERYONE! Really, it's true. I teach, and 9 out of 10 of parents think their child is gifted. They are all smart but I have taught only one, just one, truly gifted, off the charts IQ child in 7 years.

Oh -- that must have been my kid!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because *everyone* thinks their child is gifted.

EVERYONE! Really, it's true. I teach, and 9 out of 10 of parents think their child is gifted. They are all smart but I have taught only one, just one, truly gifted, off the charts IQ child in 7 years.

This is upsetting to hear an educator say this. I wonder how many truly gifted kid's needs you've dismissed over the years with this attitude. What is especially upsetting is there are many children who are twice exceptional (are gifted with autism, LD's, etc.) and they are very hard to identify. Parents are excellent identifiers and you should not dismiss them.

I highly doubt that 90% of the parents in your class have seriously come to you to advocate for their children's giftedness. If a parent geniunely feels their kid has special needs you should provide guidance on advocating for them. However, I call BS on your assertion.....

These families have a tough road to follow and I would hope their teachers would be allies on their journey.

[Anonymous]

Certainly not the most obnoxious but worthy of highlighting after reading some of the pps' comments.

I've had a mother or two ask what I'm wearing and then pull my collar back so they could read the label.

And I really get ticked off at parents who are trying to relive their childhoods by managing their children's social lives. Social schedules of small children that almost require a full-time social secretary.

My son had had a best friend since JK (and they are in 6th now) with a mother who will not allow her son to play with mine despite the fact they are inseparable and so much alike. Throws her son a birthday party to which my son is not invited. My son is a normal kid and has never even gotten into trouble. He has playdates with literally every other kid in the classrooom.

Amazing how we all can look and dress like adults but are really little angry kids. Many of these parents have kids who are socially more advanced than them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wrote 13:18 and i also have an autistic child, high functioning, so I can tell 14:36 that NONE of the parents who I've seen ask these questions have autistic children. My autistic child goes to a mainstream school and you can bet that any questions I have about his needs I'll ask in private. And even though he taught himself how to read when he was 3 and is advanced academically, I have never asked this question, "my child is gifted, I need to know if you can challenge him." he is challenged enough learning the social rules of school, attending, handling transitions. And once learning became more abstract, that involved challenges as well.

Often parents of autistic children can be blinded by their gifts. I'm not saying this is you, but my child's giftedness is not the source of his challenges. His autism is. Thats what I need his school to attend to.

And this other parents who are simply bragging, yes I do feel embarrassed for them.

Will all do respect....

I think you should take your advice as well. Do not be so focused on your child's challenges that you are blinded by them and fail to recognize and support his gifts. Your child's school should attend to his gifts and challenges. If your child finds joy in being challenged academically that is a good thing. How upsetting for a child to have their school only focus on what is difficult and not let them rise to the occassion on things that they are naturally inclined to do.

I think it is very inappropriate for a parent to ask about this in a group setting but I wouldn't hold it against them if they did. But I also think it is very appropriate for a parent of a gifted child (regardless of any dual exceptionality including autism) to ask a school how they would accomodate his gifts.

Gifted kids are special needs as well and parents need to advocate for them. I would hope that parents of all types of special needs kids would be kindred spirits rather than judging intentions.

PP again. I realize we've gone off on a tangent, I just don't like to be lectured on how to raise my DC with HFA. And I resent this idea that I am keeping joy from my happy child. You have no idea how I am raising him. You can bet that when he was a fluent reader in K and 1st, and other children were learning how to read, I had private conversations with the teachers about meeting his needs. I would NEVER have stood up in a group of parents and said "my child is a fluent reader, how will you meet his needs." That's just bragging. And I have seen it so many times and I do hold it against the parents.

I thought at first that you might be a particularly defensive parent of a child with autism, but if you are lecturing me in this way, my guess is that you are not.

[Anonymous]

With the possible exception of equestrian opportunities at Potomac (which I found pretty funny), this thread is really just listing things some other parents said that annoyed you. They don't really seem linked to private schools.