Another Sidwell college counselor head quits

[Anonymous]

There is not enough money in the world to can pay someone to be treated like crap. Sidwell parents need to learn some Quaker frickin values!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The CCO could definitely do more to give the impression that they actually care about the student. There was no sense of "I think this school would be good for you" or "have you thought about xyz?" It is a very transactional relationship which leaves something to be desired in a process whose success depends on the whole child landing somewhere that is the right fit.

The whole child landing somewhere that is the right fit? What does that even mean? Are you saying that part of the child could land somewhere that is a "wrong fit?"

Yes there is a wrong fit. Why is half the class applying to Michigan? Is that the right place for a kid looking for small class sizes? Many of my DS friends all threw in apps there just because. That hurts the kids who really want to go!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t think of many worse jobs (white collar) than being a college counselor at a high stake’s private school.

nightmare job at a nightmare Big 3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never liked her anyway

This quote sums up self-proclaimed "Big Three" parents who post on here. Can you imagine how much of a queen B this poster is in real life? The funny thing is, most of the Sidwell parents I know are not like this poster at all - and I can guarandamntee they are exponentially more successful that this mother is. I'd love to know what the college counseling office folks think about this poster and her progeny. It's a good thing they have more tact than she does.

Also, do Sidwell parents really call the college counseling office to levy anonymous charges against little Johnny's classmates? If true, that has to be the most toxic high school environment I've ever heard about.

I guess you don’t know a lot of us Sidwell parents if you think I’m the exception. I just didn’t like her patronizing style. Not queen bee at all. In fact, you probably never even noticed me nor my DC while there. But, I feel you’re not a Sidwell parent if you don’t know the answer to your question about the anonymous charges. Otherwise you would at least know the class year.

+1....We have a 2021 alum, didn't care for her either, and also found her to be patronizing, condescending and a slight bit dismissive of our opinions as to what type of environment we felt would be a good fit for our child. She was ready to support and defer to DC on their (mostly unrealistic) college wish list without a second thought. For example, (and hypothetically speaking)...say that DC put southern and west coast schools on their college list, but not because of the program or majors that were available...it was only because of the warm weather/beach access that these schools offered. Another example would be if DC getting the OK to apply a New England school with a very good performing arts program, even though DC was planning on majoring in math, and only interested in performing arts as a minor or an extracurricular. Again, these were not our actual scenarios, but in situations like this (or ours), I would have expected a responsible CC to redirect the student, offer school stats, pros/cons of the school choices the student made, as well as more appropriate alternative schools that would be a good fit...but nope, didn't get any of that.

I'm not saying that all HS juniors/seniors are cavalier, unenthusiastic or unrealistic about the college application process...as a matter of fact, I think most kids are excited, engaged and eager to jump in and get started....but our kid was not. Had our DC approached the process with more maturity, seriousness and thoughtfulness, we would have been more than willing to hand over the wheel, step aside and let DC drive the process, but that just wasn't our reality. We wanted more than anything for our kid to be all-in and amped, but applying (and I mean seriously applying) for college was intimidating and overwhelming to our child...this was not a surprise to us given that DC was one of the younger kids in the class. But had the CC known anything about our kid, she would have 100% known that a fair amount of parental hand holding was going to be necessary, she would've understood our position, and she would have respected our approach. None of that happened. DC ended up taking a gap year and everything worked out fine, but the CCO gets minimal (if any credit) for DC's outcome....the school at large gets major credit, but the CCO....no.

And for the record, I am as far from a "Queen Bee" type as you can get. We are not pushy, over-the-top, Borderline personality type people....and we were not looking for a miracle worker to get our child into the Ivy League. We are dedicated parents who reasonably expected to get the guidance, expertise, and honest advice that we felt our tuition dollars paid for from the college counselors at our well-regarded private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never liked her anyway

This quote sums up self-proclaimed "Big Three" parents who post on here. Can you imagine how much of a queen B this poster is in real life? The funny thing is, most of the Sidwell parents I know are not like this poster at all - and I can guarandamntee they are exponentially more successful that this mother is. I'd love to know what the college counseling office folks think about this poster and her progeny. It's a good thing they have more tact than she does.

Also, do Sidwell parents really call the college counseling office to levy anonymous charges against little Johnny's classmates? If true, that has to be the most toxic high school environment I've ever heard about.

I guess you don’t know a lot of us Sidwell parents if you think I’m the exception. I just didn’t like her patronizing style. Not queen bee at all. In fact, you probably never even noticed me nor my DC while there. But, I feel you’re not a Sidwell parent if you don’t know the answer to your question about the anonymous charges. Otherwise you would at least know the class year.

+1....We have a 2021 alum, didn't care for her either, and also found her to be patronizing, condescending and a slight bit dismissive of our opinions as to what type of environment we felt would be a good fit for our child. She was ready to support and defer to DC on their (mostly unrealistic) college wish list without a second thought. For example, (and hypothetically speaking)...say that DC put southern and west coast schools on their college list, but not because of the program or majors that were available...it was only because of the warm weather/beach access that these schools offered. Another example would be if DC getting the OK to apply a New England school with a very good performing arts program, even though DC was planning on majoring in math, and only interested in performing arts as a minor or an extracurricular. Again, these were not our actual scenarios, but in situations like this (or ours), I would have expected a responsible CC to redirect the student, offer school stats, pros/cons of the school choices the student made, as well as more appropriate alternative schools that would be a good fit...but nope, didn't get any of that.

I'm not saying that all HS juniors/seniors are cavalier, unenthusiastic or unrealistic about the college application process...as a matter of fact, I think most kids are excited, engaged and eager to jump in and get started....but our kid was not. Had our DC approached the process with more maturity, seriousness and thoughtfulness, we would have been more than willing to hand over the wheel, step aside and let DC drive the process, but that just wasn't our reality. We wanted more than anything for our kid to be all-in and amped, but applying (and I mean seriously applying) for college was intimidating and overwhelming to our child...this was not a surprise to us given that DC was one of the younger kids in the class. But had the CC known anything about our kid, she would have 100% known that a fair amount of parental hand holding was going to be necessary, she would've understood our position, and she would have respected our approach. None of that happened. DC ended up taking a gap year and everything worked out fine, but the CCO gets minimal (if any credit) for DC's outcome....the school at large gets major credit, but the CCO....no.

And for the record, I am as far from a "Queen Bee" type as you can get. We are not pushy, over-the-top, Borderline personality type people....and we were not looking for a miracle worker to get our child into the Ivy League. We are dedicated parents who reasonably expected to get the guidance, expertise, and honest advice that we felt our tuition dollars paid for from the college counselors at our well-regarded private school.

It's called parenting - you should try it. Why do you think that the school should be the one parenting your DC - get a grip. I did not have this experience - also SFS past parent. This is a thankless job. Why does everyone want to place blame on others? Take some ownership. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope they write a book.

They already did, which is why the left, to promote it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never liked her anyway

This quote sums up self-proclaimed "Big Three" parents who post on here. Can you imagine how much of a queen B this poster is in real life? The funny thing is, most of the Sidwell parents I know are not like this poster at all - and I can guarandamntee they are exponentially more successful that this mother is. I'd love to know what the college counseling office folks think about this poster and her progeny. It's a good thing they have more tact than she does.

Also, do Sidwell parents really call the college counseling office to levy anonymous charges against little Johnny's classmates? If true, that has to be the most toxic high school environment I've ever heard about.

It happened once, in 2019. Think if who was in that class and you can understand how remarkably stupid the action was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn't Sidwell where parents were tattling anonymously about other kids to the college admissions offices vying for the best hook ups to the best colleges and cutting other kids down? That was a year or so ago? And now Sidwell bans any anonymous letters. I am sure that savvy mums and dads work their way around this. Did you see x vaping near CVS? Did you know when you grade y's papers your actually grading the tutor's work? What a toxic place. Sidwell makes progressives look bad.

Sidwell parent, singular. It was an isolated incident that happened once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never liked her anyway

This quote sums up self-proclaimed "Big Three" parents who post on here. Can you imagine how much of a queen B this poster is in real life? The funny thing is, most of the Sidwell parents I know are not like this poster at all - and I can guarandamntee they are exponentially more successful that this mother is. I'd love to know what the college counseling office folks think about this poster and her progeny. It's a good thing they have more tact than she does.

Also, do Sidwell parents really call the college counseling office to levy anonymous charges against little Johnny's classmates? If true, that has to be the most toxic high school environment I've ever heard about.

I guess you don’t know a lot of us Sidwell parents if you think I’m the exception. I just didn’t like her patronizing style. Not queen bee at all. In fact, you probably never even noticed me nor my DC while there. But, I feel you’re not a Sidwell parent if you don’t know the answer to your question about the anonymous charges. Otherwise you would at least know the class year.

+1....We have a 2021 alum, didn't care for her either, and also found her to be patronizing, condescending and a slight bit dismissive of our opinions as to what type of environment we felt would be a good fit for our child. She was ready to support and defer to DC on their (mostly unrealistic) college wish list without a second thought. For example, (and hypothetically speaking)...say that DC put southern and west coast schools on their college list, but not because of the program or majors that were available...it was only because of the warm weather/beach access that these schools offered. Another example would be if DC getting the OK to apply a New England school with a very good performing arts program, even though DC was planning on majoring in math, and only interested in performing arts as a minor or an extracurricular. Again, these were not our actual scenarios, but in situations like this (or ours), I would have expected a responsible CC to redirect the student, offer school stats, pros/cons of the school choices the student made, as well as more appropriate alternative schools that would be a good fit...but nope, didn't get any of that.

I'm not saying that all HS juniors/seniors are cavalier, unenthusiastic or unrealistic about the college application process...as a matter of fact, I think most kids are excited, engaged and eager to jump in and get started....but our kid was not. Had our DC approached the process with more maturity, seriousness and thoughtfulness, we would have been more than willing to hand over the wheel, step aside and let DC drive the process, but that just wasn't our reality. We wanted more than anything for our kid to be all-in and amped, but applying (and I mean seriously applying) for college was intimidating and overwhelming to our child...this was not a surprise to us given that DC was one of the younger kids in the class. But had the CC known anything about our kid, she would have 100% known that a fair amount of parental hand holding was going to be necessary, she would've understood our position, and she would have respected our approach. None of that happened. DC ended up taking a gap year and everything worked out fine, but the CCO gets minimal (if any credit) for DC's outcome....the school at large gets major credit, but the CCO....no.

And for the record, I am as far from a "Queen Bee" type as you can get. We are not pushy, over-the-top, Borderline personality type people....and we were not looking for a miracle worker to get our child into the Ivy League. We are dedicated parents who reasonably expected to get the guidance, expertise, and honest advice that we felt our tuition dollars paid for from the college counselors at our well-regarded private school.

It's called parenting - you should try it. Why do you think that the school should be the one parenting your DC - get a grip. I did not have this experience - also SFS past parent. This is a thankless job. Why does everyone want to place blame on others? Take some ownership. Period.

Wow...why so much aggression re my post? FYI...I am not "ungripped" in the least. I am not blaming anyone for anything...I was just stating the facts as they applied to our situation. And we parent our kids quite nicely, but thank you for your concern.

FWIW...my SIL got tons of support for her daughter from the CCO at their FC public...I feel like we should have at least gotten the benefit of the counselor knowing a little something about our child as that is NOT an unreasonable expectation.

I'm so sorry I triggered you, but that wasn't my intention. You should be thankful if you didn't have the same experience we did, I mean...thats assuming you really are a former SFS parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never liked her anyway

This quote sums up self-proclaimed "Big Three" parents who post on here. Can you imagine how much of a queen B this poster is in real life? The funny thing is, most of the Sidwell parents I know are not like this poster at all - and I can guarandamntee they are exponentially more successful that this mother is. I'd love to know what the college counseling office folks think about this poster and her progeny. It's a good thing they have more tact than she does.

Also, do Sidwell parents really call the college counseling office to levy anonymous charges against little Johnny's classmates? If true, that has to be the most toxic high school environment I've ever heard about.

I guess you don’t know a lot of us Sidwell parents if you think I’m the exception. I just didn’t like her patronizing style. Not queen bee at all. In fact, you probably never even noticed me nor my DC while there. But, I feel you’re not a Sidwell parent if you don’t know the answer to your question about the anonymous charges. Otherwise you would at least know the class year.

+1....We have a 2021 alum, didn't care for her either, and also found her to be patronizing, condescending and a slight bit dismissive of our opinions as to what type of environment we felt would be a good fit for our child. She was ready to support and defer to DC on their (mostly unrealistic) college wish list without a second thought. For example, (and hypothetically speaking)...say that DC put southern and west coast schools on their college list, but not because of the program or majors that were available...it was only because of the warm weather/beach access that these schools offered. Another example would be if DC getting the OK to apply a New England school with a very good performing arts program, even though DC was planning on majoring in math, and only interested in performing arts as a minor or an extracurricular. Again, these were not our actual scenarios, but in situations like this (or ours), I would have expected a responsible CC to redirect the student, offer school stats, pros/cons of the school choices the student made, as well as more appropriate alternative schools that would be a good fit...but nope, didn't get any of that.

I'm not saying that all HS juniors/seniors are cavalier, unenthusiastic or unrealistic about the college application process...as a matter of fact, I think most kids are excited, engaged and eager to jump in and get started....but our kid was not. Had our DC approached the process with more maturity, seriousness and thoughtfulness, we would have been more than willing to hand over the wheel, step aside and let DC drive the process, but that just wasn't our reality. We wanted more than anything for our kid to be all-in and amped, but applying (and I mean seriously applying) for college was intimidating and overwhelming to our child...this was not a surprise to us given that DC was one of the younger kids in the class. But had the CC known anything about our kid, she would have 100% known that a fair amount of parental hand holding was going to be necessary, she would've understood our position, and she would have respected our approach. None of that happened. DC ended up taking a gap year and everything worked out fine, but the CCO gets minimal (if any credit) for DC's outcome....the school at large gets major credit, but the CCO....no.

And for the record, I am as far from a "Queen Bee" type as you can get. We are not pushy, over-the-top, Borderline personality type people....and we were not looking for a miracle worker to get our child into the Ivy League. We are dedicated parents who reasonably expected to get the guidance, expertise, and honest advice that we felt our tuition dollars paid for from the college counselors at our well-regarded private school.

It is amazing how much they want to make this kid driven but then don't bother to understand the kid. Furthermore, it's insane to not include parents in the sorts of conversations they were having about schools. Parents are the ones paying for college.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like about the worst job ever.
To the sidwell parent, what’s wrong w a kid wanting a school w a good performing arts program even if it’s not their major? And what’s wrong with having schools with warm weather? You have to break down the world somehow - and we southerners are more chill anyway. Fewer families tearing other kids down.
I pity the near hire!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like about the worst job ever.
To the sidwell parent, what’s wrong w a kid wanting a school w a good performing arts program even if it’s not their major? And what’s wrong with having schools with warm weather? You have to break down the world somehow - and we southerners are more chill anyway. Fewer families tearing other kids down.
I pity the near hire!

There is nothing wrong with applying to a school with a good perf arts program, but if the kid wants to major in architecture and that major isn't offered at the school, then what good is a stellar perf arts program?

And I truly don't have any issue with applying to schools in warm weather locales , but...the applicant has to meet the criteria of the schools being applied to...so gpa, test scores, language requirements, etc all matter. I'm not even sure if our kid considered any of that when creating the initial list. They wanted to apply to schools based on friends applying to same schools, proximity to beaches, year round mild weather, available sports...just lots of things not really related to the primary reason DC was going to college (to learn and earn a degree), so some serious redirection was needed.

We definitely talked to DC about this both at home and during CC meetings, but we felt sidelined because we kept hearing...its your child's experience...your child will be the one on campus...your child has to buy in...listen to your child and respect their opinions on this. It was so frustrating .

[Anonymous]

Reading these posts, it’s a wonder this counselor lasted any time at all. Insufferable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The CCO could definitely do more to give the impression that they actually care about the student. There was no sense of "I think this school would be good for you" or "have you thought about xyz?" It is a very transactional relationship which leaves something to be desired in a process whose success depends on the whole child landing somewhere that is the right fit.

The whole child landing somewhere that is the right fit? What does that even mean? Are you saying that part of the child could land somewhere that is a "wrong fit?"

Yes there is a wrong fit.

Why is half the class applying to Michigan?

Is that the right place for a kid looking for small class sizes? Many of my DS friends all threw in apps there just because. That hurts the kids who really want to go!

Yes by all means please stop applying to Michigan-your Sidwell snowflakes aren’t going to last a day there where you need to stand on your own two feet and compete with the smart kids.

[Anonymous]

This is the same CCO head who never bothered to meet - and never encouraged her fellow counselors - to meet the Seniors of 2021 in person even after the school had moved from being online to in person. The teachers and athletic coaches were all in person starting in Jan 2021 but the counselors remained on zoom. We thought that was RIDICULOUS since most of the counselors that year were new and had never met the kids previously and had no personal relationship with them whatsoever. Our kid has moved on so it's water under the bridge but I'm glad the upcoming students are getting a new batch of counselors.