How do you find God if you don't believe?

[Anonymous]

I have gone on quite a faith journey myself - raised in a very conservative religious tradition, which I wholeheartedly embraced into my early 20s, before becoming disillusioned and angry and becoming atheist. Then I was agnostic, then I found my way back to God. I would encourage you to learn about different faith traditions. And embrace the things that uplift you and help you feel transcendence. For me, that's music. When I was atheist and agnostic, it was the power of music that most persuaded my heart that there was a greater power in the universe. That, and studying things out in my heart and mind. In shintoism, there is a concept that basically says there are many paths but they all go up the same mountain. I embraced something like this personally. You will find your way. God will meet you on your journey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have often felt envious of people who believe. It seems like such a simple answer to all of life's problems.

But in reality? There are no simple answers. The people I know who profess faith still struggle with the same depression, anxiety, and fear as the rest of us.

Instead, I have found "faith" in things outside of any church. I have found community through volunteer organizations - a group coming together for a common good, for reasons no greater or lesser than wanting to do the right thing. I found spiritualism through connecting with nature: gardening, hiking, camping, kayaking. I know that sounds trite, but watching the cycles of nature at work is truly awe-inspiring if you really take the time to observe. I found meaning beyond my existence by making an impact on those around me - in my case, volunteering with youth organizations, where I believe my impact may outlive me, and any impact I have on these kids may even outlive them.

Find what speaks to you, OP. It doesn't have to be God. It doesn't have to be religion in the traditional sense. You can find a purpose in whatever you do believe in.

OP here -yes I think this is what I need to do.

Yay OP! and thanks to pp for pointing out so many ways to make life meaningful.

[Anonymous]

I find that a consistent meditation practice fills this need. I subscribed to a meditation phone app called "Waking Up." It has helped me tremendously with the issues that you are describing.

[Anonymous]

I write the Isha Yiras Hashem substack.

Means woman who fears God in Hebrew.

I think that belief is ultimately a choice. I have met many people who claim to be atheists, but I find a little bit of questioning uncovers a belief system that is surprisingly robust in most people.

If I ask "Do you believe that there is an element to the world that is not purely physical", most people will say yes.

What's interesting is that the people who say no are among the most superstitious of anyone I have ever met. Another oddity, and perhaps I am asking the wrong people, but so far every single person I have met who did not believe in any world outside the physical was Chinese from Mainland China.

[Anonymous]

Postscript: I am a big fan of humility. I cannot prove my side, and you cannot prove your side.

If G-d wanted His existence to be provable, He could easily make it so, as in the Bible. Why doesn't He?

I have a number of theories on the topic, but mainly it boils down to me being a mortal humans who will never have all the answers in life.

As for how being religious makes you happy, if you read my piece about travel with family being an atonement for sin, it's a meaningful reframe of life that often comes along with a sense of community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am asking this question after reading a previous post about people being depressed because they don't have religion in their lives. I am an atheist in my 40s, although I considered myself Christian until my early 20's. However with life and experience I find it impossible to believe in a 'God' and especially anything written in the Bible. It all seems totally unbelievable to me and I hate the way it has given people reasons to discriminate against LGBTQ communities.

I struggle on and off with depression and sometimes I wished I did have a faith to comfort me. It is very easy for people to say you should turn to Jesus etc, but to me it is like believing in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny.

OP, have you ever found anything in your life?

I went to a Catholic boarding school and was one of the few non catholic students (although baptized Christian). I was judged by some very uptight religious teachers and overheard them gossip about my 'unorthodox'family. I tried to make them like me more by attending all the optional evening prayer services and tried to talk to God but never felt heard. In my late teens and early 20's I struggled really badly with OCD and depression and pleaded to God to help me but I felt no comfort only suicidal. The only thing that helped me in the end was antidepressants and therapy. I stopped believing in God after this bout of depression and it all seems a lot of hateful made up nonsense to me now. But I do often think it would be nice to believe, some of my good friends do, I just can't seem to make that stretch. Whatever happens I know Catholic Church is not for me or any religion who thinks that being in a same sex relationship is a sin.

Your family wasn’t Catholic, but your parents sent you away to Catholic boarding school? Why did they do that? Did you tell your parents you were unhappy at a boarding school that wasn’t the religion your family embraced?

What were your parents doing, making you miserable and isolated? Were they wanting to make you Catholic, even if they themselves weren’t?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Postscript: I am a big fan of humility. I cannot prove my side, and you cannot prove your side.

If G-d wanted His existence to be provable, He could easily make it so, as in the Bible. Why doesn't He?

I have a number of theories on the topic, but mainly it boils down to me being a mortal humans who will never have all the answers in life.

As for how being religious makes you happy, if you read my piece about travel with family being an atonement for sin, it's a meaningful reframe of life that often comes along with a sense of community.

God has revealed himself to us in the glory of creation, in the perfection of the written word, and in the personal experience of all who seek him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Postscript: I am a big fan of humility. I cannot prove my side, and you cannot prove your side.

If G-d wanted His existence to be provable, He could easily make it so, as in the Bible. Why doesn't He?

I have a number of theories on the topic, but mainly it boils down to me being a mortal humans who will never have all the answers in life.

As for how being religious makes you happy, if you read my piece about travel with family being an atonement for sin, it's a meaningful reframe of life that often comes along with a sense of community.

I believe that, of course. But G-d has also made a world in which we have freedom of choice, and it is impossible for me to prove that He exists to someone else. I am addressing the OP.
IYH

God has revealed himself to us in the glory of creation, in the perfection of the written word, and in the personal experience of all who seek him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I write the Isha Yiras Hashem substack.

Means woman who fears God in Hebrew.

I think that belief is ultimately a choice. I have met many people who claim to be atheists, but I find a little bit of questioning uncovers a belief system that is surprisingly robust in most people.

If I ask "Do you believe that there is an element to the world that is not purely physical", most people will say yes.

What's interesting is that the people who say no are among the most superstitious of anyone I have ever met. Another oddity, and perhaps I am asking the wrong people, but so far every single person I have met who did not believe in any world outside the physical was Chinese from Mainland China.

I agree that belief is ultimately a choice. I think the idea that we should be logically convinced is very culturally specific and not really reflective of the nature of faith. I am an adherent of the "faith is a leap into the absurd" and "help me in my doubt, God" schools of thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am asking this question after reading a previous post about people being depressed because they don't have religion in their lives. I am an atheist in my 40s, although I considered myself Christian until my early 20's. However with life and experience I find it impossible to believe in a 'God' and especially anything written in the Bible. It all seems totally unbelievable to me and I hate the way it has given people reasons to discriminate against LGBTQ communities.

I struggle on and off with depression and sometimes I wished I did have a faith to comfort me. It is very easy for people to say you should turn to Jesus etc, but to me it is like believing in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny.

OP, have you ever found anything in your life?

I went to a Catholic boarding school and was one of the few non catholic students (although baptized Christian). I was judged by some very uptight religious teachers and overheard them gossip about my 'unorthodox'family. I tried to make them like me more by attending all the optional evening prayer services and tried to talk to God but never felt heard. In my late teens and early 20's I struggled really badly with OCD and depression and pleaded to God to help me but I felt no comfort only suicidal. The only thing that helped me in the end was antidepressants and therapy. I stopped believing in God after this bout of depression and it all seems a lot of hateful made up nonsense to me now. But I do often think it would be nice to believe, some of my good friends do, I just can't seem to make that stretch. Whatever happens I know Catholic Church is not for me or any religion who thinks that being in a same sex relationship is a sin.

Your family wasn’t Catholic, but your parents sent you away to Catholic boarding school? Why did they do that? Did you tell your parents you were unhappy at a boarding school that wasn’t the religion your family embraced?

What were your parents doing, making you miserable and isolated? Were they wanting to make you Catholic, even if they themselves weren’t?

I wanted to be a boarder as most of my friends were. I could have attended as a day student. My parents sent me there as I had learning differences and was counseled out of another secular private school. In those days if you had learning differences in public school you were put with all the troublemakers and not expected to achieve anything. The catholic school was the only private school in the area at the time that has learning specialists. I enjoyed some aspects of school as I loved my friends there. Not all the teachers were judgmental. I never told my parents I was unhappy about the religious aspect I kept it to myself.I even thought about converting to Catholicism. It is only as an adult I can see the impact it had on me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am asking this question after reading a previous post about people being depressed because they don't have religion in their lives. I am an atheist in my 40s, although I considered myself Christian until my early 20's. However with life and experience I find it impossible to believe in a 'God' and especially anything written in the Bible. It all seems totally unbelievable to me and I hate the way it has given people reasons to discriminate against LGBTQ communities.

I struggle on and off with depression and sometimes I wished I did have a faith to comfort me. It is very easy for people to say you should turn to Jesus etc, but to me it is like believing in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny.

OP, have you ever found anything in your life?

I went to a Catholic boarding school and was one of the few non catholic students (although baptized Christian). I was judged by some very uptight religious teachers and overheard them gossip about my 'unorthodox'family. I tried to make them like me more by attending all the optional evening prayer services and tried to talk to God but never felt heard. In my late teens and early 20's I struggled really badly with OCD and depression and pleaded to God to help me but I felt no comfort only suicidal. The only thing that helped me in the end was antidepressants and therapy. I stopped believing in God after this bout of depression and it all seems a lot of hateful made up nonsense to me now. But I do often think it would be nice to believe, some of my good friends do, I just can't seem to make that stretch. Whatever happens I know Catholic Church is not for me or any religion who thinks that being in a same sex relationship is a sin.

Stop focusing on organized religion or what other people say. Focus on the word of God and building your own relations directly with the God.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Postscript: I am a big fan of humility. I cannot prove my side, and you cannot prove your side.

If G-d wanted His existence to be provable, He could easily make it so, as in the Bible. Why doesn't He?

I have a number of theories on the topic, but mainly it boils down to me being a mortal humans who will never have all the answers in life.

As for how being religious makes you happy, if you read my piece about travel with family being an atonement for sin, it's a meaningful reframe of life that often comes along with a sense of community.

God proved his existence to us in so many ways. Some people just chose to ignore the evidence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I write the Isha Yiras Hashem substack.

Means woman who fears God in Hebrew.

I think that belief is ultimately a choice. I have met many people who claim to be atheists, but I find a little bit of questioning uncovers a belief system that is surprisingly robust in most people.

If I ask "Do you believe that there is an element to the world that is not purely physical", most people will say yes.

What's interesting is that the people who say no are among the most superstitious of anyone I have ever met. Another oddity, and perhaps I am asking the wrong people, but so far every single person I have met who did not believe in any world outside the physical was Chinese from Mainland China.

I agree that belief is ultimately a choice. I think the idea that we should be logically convinced is very culturally specific and not really reflective of the nature of faith. I am an adherent of the "faith is a leap into the absurd" and "help me in my doubt, God" schools of thought.

Agree that it is a choice that someone has to make consciously and on a daily basis. We have a choice how to live our day. When you wake up, you make a choice what your day is going to be like and you make a choice to be happy on that day. But I have totally opposite approach to God than you. I don't see it a a leap into the absurd. I have more scientific approach to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am asking this question after reading a previous post about people being depressed because they don't have religion in their lives. I am an atheist in my 40s, although I considered myself Christian until my early 20's. However with life and experience I find it impossible to believe in a 'God' and especially anything written in the Bible. It all seems totally unbelievable to me and I hate the way it has given people reasons to discriminate against LGBTQ communities.

I struggle on and off with depression and sometimes I wished I did have a faith to comfort me. It is very easy for people to say you should turn to Jesus etc, but to me it is like believing in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny.

OP, have you ever found anything in your life?

I went to a Catholic boarding school and was one of the few non catholic students (although baptized Christian). I was judged by some very uptight religious teachers and overheard them gossip about my 'unorthodox'family. I tried to make them like me more by attending all the optional evening prayer services and tried to talk to God but never felt heard. In my late teens and early 20's I struggled really badly with OCD and depression and pleaded to God to help me but I felt no comfort only suicidal. The only thing that helped me in the end was antidepressants and therapy. I stopped believing in God after this bout of depression and it all seems a lot of hateful made up nonsense to me now. But I do often think it would be nice to believe, some of my good friends do, I just can't seem to make that stretch. Whatever happens I know Catholic Church is not for me or any religion who thinks that being in a same sex relationship is a sin.

Your family wasn’t Catholic, but your parents sent you away to Catholic boarding school? Why did they do that? Did you tell your parents you were unhappy at a boarding school that wasn’t the religion your family embraced?

What were your parents doing, making you miserable and isolated? Were they wanting to make you Catholic, even if they themselves weren’t?

I wanted to be a boarder as most of my friends were. I could have attended as a day student. My parents sent me there as I had learning differences and was counseled out of another secular private school. In those days if you had learning differences in public school you were put with all the troublemakers and not expected to achieve anything. The catholic school was the only private school in the area at the time that has learning specialists. I enjoyed some aspects of school as I loved my friends there. Not all the teachers were judgmental. I never told my parents I was unhappy about the religious aspect I kept it to myself.I even thought about converting to Catholicism. It is only as an adult I can see the impact it had on me.

So you chose this school.

Is “counseling out” mean you were kicked out, for a lack of better terminology? The secular private school made you leave?

So the Catholics took you in, provided you with actual learning opportunities, you loved your friends at the Catholic school, and you admit all the teachers weren’t judgemental…but you are still depressed because of it?

Op, we all have a right to feel our feelings, but you seem to be looking for reasons to focus on the negative, ignore the positive, and stay mired in the past?

How many years have you been graduated from high school? Did you attend college? Do you have a career/job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am asking this question after reading a previous post about people being depressed because they don't have religion in their lives. I am an atheist in my 40s, although I considered myself Christian until my early 20's. However with life and experience I find it impossible to believe in a 'God' and especially anything written in the Bible. It all seems totally unbelievable to me and I hate the way it has given people reasons to discriminate against LGBTQ communities.

I struggle on and off with depression and sometimes I wished I did have a faith to comfort me. It is very easy for people to say you should turn to Jesus etc, but to me it is like believing in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny.

OP, have you ever found anything in your life?

I went to a Catholic boarding school and was one of the few non catholic students (although baptized Christian). I was judged by some very uptight religious teachers and overheard them gossip about my 'unorthodox'family. I tried to make them like me more by attending all the optional evening prayer services and tried to talk to God but never felt heard. In my late teens and early 20's I struggled really badly with OCD and depression and pleaded to God to help me but I felt no comfort only suicidal. The only thing that helped me in the end was antidepressants and therapy. I stopped believing in God after this bout of depression and it all seems a lot of hateful made up nonsense to me now. But I do often think it would be nice to believe, some of my good friends do, I just can't seem to make that stretch. Whatever happens I know Catholic Church is not for me or any religion who thinks that being in a same sex relationship is a sin.

Stop focusing on organized religion or what other people say. Focus on the word of God and building your own relations directly with the God.

+1 I cannot agree with this more.