Too many sick days!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I added it up. Including a few doctors appointments that could not be scheduled at other times, I've missed 9 days combined from July through January including 4 days for the Flu for both of my kids.

It was 1 day July (kid), 1 day september (me), 4 hours combined appointments october + 4 days flu, December - 1/2 day kid, January 1 day me, 1 day kid.

That is not a lot at all! I would say that’s pretty average or even less than average for parents of multiple young kids.

9 days in six months is not a lot? If the next six months are similar it will be 18 days/year!

You would fire a nanny who had taken 9 sick days off in six months.

Yup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I added it up. Including a few doctors appointments that could not be scheduled at other times, I've missed 9 days combined from July through January including 4 days for the Flu for both of my kids.

It was 1 day July (kid), 1 day september (me), 4 hours combined appointments october + 4 days flu, December - 1/2 day kid, January 1 day me, 1 day kid.

That is not a lot at all! I would say that’s pretty average or even less than average for parents of multiple young kids.

9 days in six months is not a lot? If the next six months are similar it will be 18 days/year!

It is not a lot, no. People with young kids have to take a lot of sick time.

And that's why some employers try to avoid hiring people with kids, or seem like they will soon have kids.

Which is illegal FYI

No s*** Sherlock. They still do it and you can’t prove it in court.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I added it up. Including a few doctors appointments that could not be scheduled at other times, I've missed 9 days combined from July through January including 4 days for the Flu for both of my kids.

It was 1 day July (kid), 1 day september (me), 4 hours combined appointments october + 4 days flu, December - 1/2 day kid, January 1 day me, 1 day kid.

That is not a lot at all! I would say that’s pretty average or even less than average for parents of multiple young kids.

9 days in six months is not a lot? If the next six months are similar it will be 18 days/year!

You would fire a nanny who had taken 9 sick days off in six months.

OP is a teacher. DCUM would be apoplectic if their little snowflakes had a teacher who was out 9 days during 6 months of teaching.

OP said she works at a school. Not that she’s a teacher. I think DCUM would be more upset if someone brought their sick kid into a school and exposed their snowflakes to some random illness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I added it up. Including a few doctors appointments that could not be scheduled at other times, I've missed 9 days combined from July through January including 4 days for the Flu for both of my kids.

It was 1 day July (kid), 1 day september (me), 4 hours combined appointments october + 4 days flu, December - 1/2 day kid, January 1 day me, 1 day kid.

That is not a lot at all! I would say that’s pretty average or even less than average for parents of multiple young kids.

9 days in six months is not a lot? If the next six months are similar it will be 18 days/year!

You would fire a nanny who had taken 9 sick days off in six months.

OP is a teacher. DCUM would be apoplectic if their little snowflakes had a teacher who was out 9 days during 6 months of teaching.

OP said she works at a school. Not that she’s a teacher. I think DCUM would be more upset if someone brought their sick kid into a school and exposed their snowflakes to some random illness.

That's why people suggested her husband should bring them to HIS work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White House nannies or similar. You’ll pay through the nose, but people are available.

This 100%
White House Nannie’s are expensive, though. I use Nanny Poppinz(they’re affordable)most of their caregivers have also been with WHN. Good luck!

This is a person who thinks paying someone $100 a DAY (for *how* many hours?) is a lot to pay for sick childcare, so this probably isn’t going to happen.

OP here. I literally do NOT live in the DC area. I am from there but do not live there anymore. I live several hours away in VA and my salary is not as high as someone in northern VA, nor are childcare costs as high. The going rate for caring for a child at a babysitter's home (following THEIR schedule, not my child's), with their own children present and just babysitting...not a strong structured, licensed program is about $25-35 a day. The person I found charges $50 a day or $15 an hour for short periods but I pay it because they are our back-up care and help us out a lot.

There is no one else that I have found that is willing to watch sick children besides a lady who lives 30 minutes out who does not speak any English; only Spanish and she charges $15 an hour. I do not speak any Spanish nor do my children and they are at ages where this would be very challenging so I haven't reached out to her. I could google translate of course but my kids can't.

I have asked my husband to have a discussion with his supervisor about coming up with a stronger WFH plan. I have arranged this back-up sick care, I am looking for a 2nd back-up sick care when this fellow is unavailable, and I have extra back-up care when the kids aren't sick (several neighbors) but NOT when they are sick. I try to send them to school if they do not actively have fevers or are vomiting/gagging/really, really lethargic. I send them with masks and honestly, they go to school more than they should when they aren't feeling awesome. There's simply no other option.

I also have not gone over my leave. I only have 3 days left of leave to get me through the end of June so that's not great. Part of the issue is I had to use all my sick leave last year too because of sickness and quarantines and there was NO ONE willing at that time to watch sick kids, I mean NO ONE. I also had to use my sick leave to cover when my FIL suddenly died and we had to go out of town for the funeral (my husband is an only child so we had a lot to do and I had to be with him). There is zero bereavement leave at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White House nannies or similar. You’ll pay through the nose, but people are available.

This 100%
White House Nannie’s are expensive, though. I use Nanny Poppinz(they’re affordable)most of their caregivers have also been with WHN. Good luck!

This is a person who thinks paying someone $100 a DAY (for *how* many hours?) is a lot to pay for sick childcare, so this probably isn’t going to happen.

OP here. I literally do NOT live in the DC area. I am from there but do not live there anymore. I live several hours away in VA and my salary is not as high as someone in northern VA, nor are childcare costs as high. The going rate for caring for a child at a babysitter's home (following THEIR schedule, not my child's), with their own children present and just babysitting...not a strong structured, licensed program is about $25-35 a day. The person I found charges $50 a day or $15 an hour for short periods but I pay it because they are our back-up care and help us out a lot.

There is no one else that I have found that is willing to watch sick children besides a lady who lives 30 minutes out who does not speak any English; only Spanish and she charges $15 an hour. I do not speak any Spanish nor do my children and they are at ages where this would be very challenging so I haven't reached out to her. I could google translate of course but my kids can't.

I have asked my husband to have a discussion with his supervisor about coming up with a stronger WFH plan. I have arranged this back-up sick care, I am looking for a 2nd back-up sick care when this fellow is unavailable, and I have extra back-up care when the kids aren't sick (several neighbors) but NOT when they are sick. I try to send them to school if they do not actively have fevers or are vomiting/gagging/really, really lethargic. I send them with masks and honestly, they go to school more than they should when they aren't feeling awesome. There's simply no other option.

I also have not gone over my leave. I only have 3 days left of leave to get me through the end of June so that's not great. Part of the issue is I had to use all my sick leave last year too because of sickness and quarantines and there was NO ONE willing at that time to watch sick kids, I mean NO ONE. I also had to use my sick leave to cover when my FIL suddenly died and we had to go out of town for the funeral (my husband is an only child so we had a lot to do and I had to be with him). There is zero bereavement leave at all.

There’s lots of jerks in this thread, OP. There’s no real answer other than it sucks and you’re not alone. You’ve done everything right. Sometimes life is just hard/impossible.

It’s crazy making how many people act like back up care willing to take vomiting and feverish kids is a thing. 99% of parents take care of their kids when the kids are very ill. I don’t have a single friend who has back up sick care. It’s one thing to have a kid with the sniffles stay home with a college babysitter, neighbor, or grandparent. But cleaning up vomit and diahrea is not something you can outsource.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry OP. People on this thread are heartless a-holes and you’re clearly doing the best you can. It’s hard taking leave but then still being required to work- but I get not wanting to let things slip through the cracks or to have your work fall on someone else’s plate. Backup care is expensive and not always an option for people, especially on educators salaries. So just know you’re not alone and it sucks, but don’t be afraid to ask people at work that you trust for help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry OP. People on this thread are heartless a-holes and you’re clearly doing the best you can. It’s hard taking leave but then still being required to work- but I get not wanting to let things slip through the cracks or to have your work fall on someone else’s plate. Backup care is expensive and not always an option for people, especially on educators salaries. So just know you’re not alone and it sucks, but don’t be afraid to ask people at work that you trust for help.

Thank you!! I have been asking for references for extra back-up care. It’s hard. I don’t exactly made a ton as an educator, though more than my husband and especially including benefits. I’m also giving extra vitamins and masking my kids the rest of the winter. I spoke with my colleagues (similar roles as me in my district) today and it’s expected unfortunately to work A TON from home. This is still a shift for me as I was told that I shouldn’t have super late hours but maybe would need to work late or come in early maybe 1 hour a week…it seems like it could be HOURS extra and it’s expected to do that even while sick. I guess it is what it is. I don’t even get a 10 month contract like teachers, no I have an 11 month contract. If I had the full summer break, this would be a lot easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I added it up. Including a few doctors appointments that could not be scheduled at other times, I've missed 9 days combined from July through January including 4 days for the Flu for both of my kids.

It was 1 day July (kid), 1 day september (me), 4 hours combined appointments october + 4 days flu, December - 1/2 day kid, January 1 day me, 1 day kid.

That is not a lot at all! I would say that’s pretty average or even less than average for parents of multiple young kids.

9 days in six months is not a lot? If the next six months are similar it will be 18 days/year!

It is not a lot, no. People with young kids have to take a lot of sick time.

As a employer, I hire you to do a job and I count on you being available during business hours to do that job. Your lack of childcare whatever the reason, should not be my problem. Surely, OP must have known that children get colds and the flu, run a fever, etc., and should have found emergency childcare.

It
Well, parents also get sick. I’ve got rock solid, multi tiered plans for childcare even with sick kids. But this winter has hit ME (a 30something mom) extremely hard. I’ve never been this sick in my entire life and have had to take a day off nearly every week since October. The illnesses now aren’t just the sniffles-they are taking our family DOWN.

This is still not your employer's problem. You should have taken a week off to get well instead of a day every week since Oct. At this point, I would have had a long talk with you about all your sick leave and any more would be without pay and a doctor's note on your reason for taking so much time

I am running a business NOT a kindergarten.

I'm sure you are the type of boss who would go to work sick, infect all your employees and then yell at them for taking time off.0

No. I would and do not go to work sick and I encourage sick employees to take sick leave. But 9 days in 6 months for children bring sick is ridiculous.

Anyone who has children should know that the first ten years there will be a lot of colds, flu, normal childhood dresses and it should tell you that you need emergency childcare options.

That’s nice in theory but the list of people willing to watch a vomiting, feverish child is very, very short.

That's why mother's should find a job where they can work from home.

NP. I was waiting for it to get here! And admit it, what you really wanted to type was “mother’s (sic) shouldn’t work at all”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I added it up. Including a few doctors appointments that could not be scheduled at other times, I've missed 9 days combined from July through January including 4 days for the Flu for both of my kids.

It was 1 day July (kid), 1 day september (me), 4 hours combined appointments october + 4 days flu, December - 1/2 day kid, January 1 day me, 1 day kid.

That is not a lot at all! I would say that’s pretty average or even less than average for parents of multiple young kids.

9 days in six months is not a lot? If the next six months are similar it will be 18 days/year!

It is not a lot, no. People with young kids have to take a lot of sick time.

As a employer, I hire you to do a job and I count on you being available during business hours to do that job. Your lack of childcare whatever the reason, should not be my problem. Surely, OP must have known that children get colds and the flu, run a fever, etc., and should have found emergency childcare.

It
Well, parents also get sick. I’ve got rock solid, multi tiered plans for childcare even with sick kids. But this winter has hit ME (a 30something mom) extremely hard. I’ve never been this sick in my entire life and have had to take a day off nearly every week since October. The illnesses now aren’t just the sniffles-they are taking our family DOWN.

This is still not your employer's problem. You should have taken a week off to get well instead of a day every week since Oct. At this point, I would have had a long talk with you about all your sick leave and any more would be without pay and a doctor's note on your reason for taking so much time

I am running a business NOT a kindergarten.

I'm sure you are the type of boss who would go to work sick, infect all your employees and then yell at them for taking time off.0

No. I would and do not go to work sick and I encourage sick employees to take sick leave. But 9 days in 6 months for children bring sick is ridiculous.

Anyone who has children should know that the first ten years there will be a lot of colds, flu, normal childhood dresses and it should tell you that you need emergency childcare options.

That’s nice in theory but the list of people willing to watch a vomiting, feverish child is very, very short.

That's why mother's should find a job where they can work from home.

NP. I was waiting for it to get here! And admit it, what you really wanted to type was “mother’s (sic) shouldn’t work at all”

No, this is not what I mean. In this day and she working from home is frequently an option. This is what women should look for. OP's DH also look for the same.

[Anonymous]

Can you actually be fired? As an educator I am guessing you’re not subject to layoffs. If you can’t get fired for being out on sick leave (or laid off), then I would just ignore the comments.

[Anonymous]

I’m a nanny who works on call at hotels. My last 3 bookings have been with super sick kids, no advance notice. Normally I’m on the floor playing games, doing crafts, and engaging with the children. Since the kids are super sick and I don’t feel like getting whatever they have, I’ve sat in the corner wearing a mask while the kids watched tv for 4 hours straight.

If you want to be an a-hole and book me for your sick kids, that’s what you get. Im not getting sick for a one day booking!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you belong to a church? You might be able to find someone older who could be available on short notice. If you don't have a church affiliation, I would still call churches close to you, tell them your situation and ask if they know of anyone who might be willing to help you.

Good luck.

Older people are less likely to want to catch kids’ illnesses…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White House nannies or similar. You’ll pay through the nose, but people are available.

The majority of Nannie’s don’t want to work one off babysitting jobs with sick kids. Hello!! If I get sick, then I can’t work.

I will work with sick kids, even feverish and vomiting kids. But as I said, you pay through the nose. I’m endangering my own health by coming into your home with known contagion, endangering my livelihood (temporarily), so it costs 2-3 days at my normal rate for one day of sick care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny who works on call at hotels. My last 3 bookings have been with super sick kids, no advance notice. Normally I’m on the floor playing games, doing crafts, and engaging with the children. Since the kids are super sick and I don’t feel like getting whatever they have, I’ve sat in the corner wearing a mask while the kids watched tv for 4 hours straight.

If you want to be an a-hole and book me for your sick kids, that’s what you get. Im not getting sick for a one day booking!

I would notify them of my sick rate when I got there. My normal rate is x/hour, 4 hour minimum; sick rate is up to 8 hours at 2-3 times my normal rate and paid for the whole eight hours regardless of how long I’m there. If a parent is desperate enough, they’ll pay. I’m not taking care of sick kids at my normal rate.

ex: $25/hour normal rate, $100 minimum booking; sick rate would be $400-600, depending on the illness and severity