Rec sports too competitive?

[Anonymous]

This is eye opening for me. My son has only played rec baseball and rec basketball in leagues that redraft or re-formed every year. I had no idea teams could stay together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS’s rec soccer team is really good, but they add players if there is space on the team. Maybe the friend’s team’s roster is full with the kids from previous seasons.

Nope roster is not full, registration just opened.

Our league doesn't assign teams until registration is over - are you sure that isn't the situation here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DC wanted to try a new sport that his friend has been playing for 2 years. Apparently he can’t get on his friends rec team because he is new to the sport and the friend’s team is supposed to be really good. This was supposed to be a rec team… what is going on with rec sports? Is my DC the only one?

Our rec league does try outs for basketball that allow for balanced teams, but soccer allows you to request a coach and if you don't, then you just assigned to a random place. This means there are basically half really good teams and the other half are not that great and the games with the really good teams are not fun at all. It also really discourages beginners. My daughter was new last year and their first few games were against superstars that were also a-holes and it was really rough on her.

Our Rec Basketball and Baseball does the same thing and yet somehow there are teams are mainly the same every year. There are a few teams with lots of new kids. The Coaches pretty much allow the others to select their favorites in the draft so that there might not be any real change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should see our Little League- totally cutthroat dads and coaches who try to manipulate things so that they can create a super stacked All Star team. And our basketball league...coaches who try to work the draft by telling good kids not to show up to evals so that other coaches won't recognize them and therefore leaving them to be drafted by the coach in the know.

The most insane dads I’ve met in my area of Fairfax are the Little League dads. Totally delusional cutthroat dads who think their kid is the next MLB superstar.

Let me guess- you’re in West Springfield LL, Fairfax LL, or Ft Hunt LL?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS’s rec soccer team is really good, but they add players if there is space on the team. Maybe the friend’s team’s roster is full with the kids from previous seasons.

Nope roster is not full, registration just opened.

Our league doesn't assign teams until registration is over - are you sure that isn't the situation here?

OP here- same. Teams not assigned yet. Like I said before director is happy to place him with his friends but the coach and parents don’t want that.

To other posters who say he can play on a different team. Yes he can but when my dc and his friends have been talking about my dc joining their team since fall it doesn’t feel good. Yes its not so bad, i came here to see if rec sports can be so competitive and ‘selective’ that its so difficult for a new young player to play with his friends. I got my answer. Thanks for your responses

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS’s rec soccer team is really good, but they add players if there is space on the team. Maybe the friend’s team’s roster is full with the kids from previous seasons.

Nope roster is not full, registration just opened.

Our league doesn't assign teams until registration is over - are you sure that isn't the situation here?

OP here- same. Teams not assigned yet. Like I said before director is happy to place him with his friends but the coach and parents don’t want that.

To other posters who say he can play on a different team. Yes he can but when my dc and his friends have been talking about my dc joining their team since fall it doesn’t feel good. Yes its not so bad, i came here to see if rec sports can be so competitive and ‘selective’ that its so difficult for a new young player to play with his friends. I got my answer. Thanks for your responses

OP, I think your DC got the lesson from sport that he should. You have to work for things. I think he wanted merit handed to him. That's not how life works. Wish more parents would learn this tip

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS’s rec soccer team is really good, but they add players if there is space on the team. Maybe the friend’s team’s roster is full with the kids from previous seasons.

Nope roster is not full, registration just opened.

Our league doesn't assign teams until registration is over - are you sure that isn't the situation here?

OP here- same. Teams not assigned yet. Like I said before director is happy to place him with his friends but the coach and parents don’t want that.

To other posters who say he can play on a different team. Yes he can but when my dc and his friends have been talking about my dc joining their team since fall it doesn’t feel good. Yes its not so bad, i came here to see if rec sports can be so competitive and ‘selective’ that its so difficult for a new young player to play with his friends. I got my answer. Thanks for your responses

I understand that it doesn't feel good, DS was not happy when he couldn't play with his friends because they were born in a different year (6 months a part in actual age). And he wasn't happy when he ended up on the "all new to the league" team. But he had good coaches who made the game fun.

Playing a sport is a combination of playing with friends and playing competitively. Some kids, or their parents, take it more seriously then others. My kid couldn't play soccer with his friends because too many parents were intentionally holding kids back in school so that their kid would be the oldest on sports teams. The leagues dealt with that my changing the sign up requirements from grade level to birth year and rigidly enforcing it. I have no clue if that actually has impacted red shirting in schools but it is impacting who the kids can play certain sports with. DS is 6 months younger then a lot of his friends and in a different birth year so he rarely gets to play with his friends. He still enjoys rec sports.

It sucks that your child thought he would be able to play with his friend(s). I wouldn't put it all on the Coach or the Parents. The kids could be saying one thing to your son and then telling their parents something else because they don't want to be the ones hurting your sons feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS’s rec soccer team is really good, but they add players if there is space on the team. Maybe the friend’s team’s roster is full with the kids from previous seasons.

Nope roster is not full, registration just opened.

If all the kids who played last season come back to play again and sign up by the close of regular registration, the roster is full. They have a max number of kids they put on each team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At the rec level, they should be doing what they can to make sure the teams are roughly level in terms of skill, so that when the teams play each other, it is fun for all the teams.

What usually happens is that the stronger teams try to stay together. Some leagues are better at preventing this than others. Usually though, the coaches have some sort of "draft" and if the friend's coach doesn't think your DC is good, they won't draft them.

OP here- you are right. But it’s not just the coaches, its the parents too who don’t want to share their teams registration code. It’s just sad to see your kid looking forward to playing a sport with his friends only to find out he can’t because the team is too good and he is a beginner..

Yes, this is what the US has come to in terms of intensity of extra-curriculars and unavailability of "walk-on" groups. My daughter is an advanced orchestral player, started her instrument really young, and I had to find compassionate words to tell another parent that no, their late-elementary beginner would probably not be accepted into the same youth orchestra as my daughter. You can't expect kids who have worked hard to attain a certain level to be lumped in with others who will play a ton of wrong notes and can't sight-read. Same for sports, I imagine.

Why on earth did you need to tell her that? If she wasn't going to be accepted, then she wasn't going to be accepted. No need for her "friend" to so very kindly inform her of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS’s rec soccer team is really good, but they add players if there is space on the team. Maybe the friend’s team’s roster is full with the kids from previous seasons.

Nope roster is not full, registration just opened.

Our league doesn't assign teams until registration is over - are you sure that isn't the situation here?

OP here- same. Teams not assigned yet. Like I said before director is happy to place him with his friends but the coach and parents don’t want that.

To other posters who say he can play on a different team. Yes he can but when my dc and his friends have been talking about my dc joining their team since fall it doesn’t feel good. Yes its not so bad, i came here to see if rec sports can be so competitive and ‘selective’ that its so difficult for a new young player to play with his friends.[b] I got my answer. Thanks for your responses

Of course they can be that selective and competitive. In some sports, being a beginner playing with kids who have been playing a while at high level rec can be dangerous. By 5th grade, if you try to put a beginner on a high level rec hockey, basketball, or lacrosse team, they are going to get hurt.

[Anonymous]

I am a little baffled as to wht the other parents have a say in who plays on their rec team. It sounds to me like the team is full from returning players.

[Anonymous]

What sport and how old are the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a little baffled as to wht the other parents have a say in who plays on their rec team. It sounds to me like the team is full from returning players.

If it is a team that has been Coached by one coach for a multitude of years, as in the kids started playing together at 6 and they are now 10 so the team has been together for 4 years and, potentially, 8 seasons, the parents on the team are probably talking with the Coach about adding new kids.

Rec sports rely on volunteer Coaches. If the Coaches want to keep their team together because they know the personalities and the skill level, Rec leagues are likely to allow the Coaches to keep their team together. That way the Rec League keeps the volunteer Coach. The Coach has a solid idea about the kids he/she is working with and is more likely to continue coaching. It is a win/win for the Coach and the League. As the kids keep playing together, the parents get to know each other and they are comfortable communicating with the Coach.

I don't know when this starts to change in every sport. I know that the idea of a draft for baseball in our area doesn't really take place until the kids are in 5th, for some 4th because they are good enough players to play up. Up until then, there were teams that 100% kept the kids that they liked from t-ball until they hit the majors. Our rec soccer league seems to allow the Coaches to keep the team together through ES. Same for our Rec basketball league. Each of these leagues has a travel option that the kids can try out for which are select teams but not independent travel clubs. The select teams are still volunteered coached and are less expensive then travel teams but are more involved then regular rec leagues. Travel teams are their own separate programs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At the rec level, they should be doing what they can to make sure the teams are roughly level in terms of skill, so that when the teams play each other, it is fun for all the teams.

What usually happens is that the stronger teams try to stay together. Some leagues are better at preventing this than others. Usually though, the coaches have some sort of "draft" and if the friend's coach doesn't think your DC is good, they won't draft them.

OP here- you are right. But it’s not just the coaches, its the parents too who don’t want to share their teams registration code. It’s just sad to see your kid looking forward to playing a sport with his friends only to find out he can’t because the team is too good and he is a beginner..

Yes, this is what the US has come to in terms of intensity of extra-curriculars and unavailability of "walk-on" groups. My daughter is an advanced orchestral player, started her instrument really young, and I had to find compassionate words to tell another parent that no, their late-elementary beginner would probably not be accepted into the same youth orchestra as my daughter. You can't expect kids who have worked hard to attain a certain level to be lumped in with others who will play a ton of wrong notes and can't sight-read. Same for sports, I imagine.

Why on earth did you need to tell her that? If she wasn't going to be accepted, then she wasn't going to be accepted. No need for her "friend" to so very kindly inform her of this.

Not pp but probably so the friend wouldn't waste time/energy/money and could find a beginner's group.