Rec sports too competitive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rec teams are no longer for learning the sport and having fun. They are filled with competitive parents who are screaming from the sidelines constantly. I ran into a mom the other day at basketball game and she told me she can’t watch the game because it causes too much stress. .. this is rec basketball

Oh Lordy. What is she going to do during college applications if she can't handle rec sports?

[Anonymous]

Did they offer a slot on a different team or no availability for any?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes it's not even about being "good" it's a political thing of who is friends with whom. A clique or just a good friendship group with manipulative parents being in control of the "draft" or telling them hints about requesting who to carpool with to get placed on a similar team.

My son had this happen, then the dads saw how good he was and poached him to their rec team the following season. Then we moved to travel sports where there are also levels of politicking and placement issues.

[Anonymous]

PP here: op if you can encourage your kid to make friends with anyone he should play the sport and form new friendships. This can be hard but it is a great life skill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS’s rec soccer team is really good, but they add players if there is space on the team. Maybe the friend’s team’s roster is full with the kids from previous seasons.

Nope roster is not full, registration just opened.

Different leagues have different rules on team selection. From what I have seen, most teams allow returning coaches to choose to keep players from previous seasons on their team. If the Coach chooses to keep all the players from a previous season, then they will not add any new players. I have seen this in basketball, soccer, and baseball.

Coaches might also be allowed to say that they will not take a player back, my husband coached baseball and told me he could say no to a player but that he never did. Our team ended up with a lot of kids who had issues that made them hard to coach and the team to manage, mainly because other Coaches had the players before and choose not to have them on their team again.

DS ended up on a soccer team that was short players, they had 10 total while all the other teams had 14-15. It turned out that none of the kids on DS team had played in that particular league before. It was a nightmare when we started playing other teams where the players had clearly all played together before. The other teams had more subs and had a better idea of how to play as a team then DS's team. It was an awful experience for the boys and the vast majority of kids on that team did not play the following season. DS gave it another go and ended up on a team with some kids he knew, it was a night and day difference. DS was 9 when this happened.

We have neighbors whose boys started practicing 2 weeks before rosters were sent out. The Coach knew he would be able to pick up the players he wanted from previous years and started holding practices for the kids early.

So yes, rec sports are rec sports. They don't have the time demands, paid coaches, and the like that travel sports have. But they are competitive and the Coaches who have been Coaching from the start like to keep their players together and will not keep a kid who was a problem on their team. The Leagues that allow this, give the Coaches the ability to do this, probably because it incentivizes people to return and Coach another season. Finding volunteers is hard.

[Anonymous]

Agree with the PP that different teams have different rules. I am not in the DMV, but my kids play rec sports and the websites are very, very clear on how the teams are put together.

For soccer, it's random up to 3rd grade, then equivalent teams in two tiers for a couple of seasons, then ranked teams after 5th? 6th? to align with the league that they play in.

There's plenty of space for new players of all levels, but no one gets to pick their team.

[Anonymous]

Maybe I am naive or lucky, but this is not my experience. I know lots of kids (including my own) that have started a rec sport as late as 5th grade. The parents, kids, and coaches have all been lovely!

Find a different league! They exist! Even in the DMV 😁

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rec teams are no longer for learning the sport and having fun. They are filled with competitive parents who are screaming from the sidelines constantly. I ran into a mom the other day at basketball game and she told me she can’t watch the game because it causes too much stress. .. this is rec basketball

Oh Lordy. What is she going to do during college applications if she can't handle rec sports?

The worst experiences for refs getting abused is rec basketball

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rec teams are no longer for learning the sport and having fun. They are filled with competitive parents who are screaming from the sidelines constantly. I ran into a mom the other day at basketball game and she told me she can’t watch the game because it causes too much stress. .. this is rec basketball

Oh Lordy. What is she going to do during college applications if she can't handle rec sports?

The worst experiences for refs getting abused is rec basketball

Why

[Anonymous]

No wonder kids are developing anxiety and depression at younger ages

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rec teams are no longer for learning the sport and having fun. They are filled with competitive parents who are screaming from the sidelines constantly. I ran into a mom the other day at basketball game and she told me she can’t watch the game because it causes too much stress. .. this is rec basketball

Oh Lordy. What is she going to do during college applications if she can't handle rec sports?

The worst experiences for refs getting abused is rec basketball

Why

More screaming from parents, coaches with no ability to control parents and coaches who barely know what they are doing. At the travel level, a coach can tell parents to be respectful or find another club for their kids. Our kids have played on several AAU and county teams and every coach has had some sort of policy and I've seen a kid kicked off because his mom couldn't keep her mouth shut. I think refs are also much quicker to give coaches technical fouls in travel

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rec teams are no longer for learning the sport and having fun. They are filled with competitive parents who are screaming from the sidelines constantly. I ran into a mom the other day at basketball game and she told me she can’t watch the game because it causes too much stress. .. this is rec basketball

Oh Lordy. What is she going to do during college applications if she can't handle rec sports?

The worst experiences for refs getting abused is rec basketball

Why

More screaming from parents, coaches with no ability to control parents and coaches who barely know what they are doing. At the travel level, a coach can tell parents to be respectful or find another club for their kids. Our kids have played on several AAU and county teams and every coach has had some sort of policy and I've seen a kid kicked off because his mom couldn't keep her mouth shut. I think refs are also much quicker to give coaches technical fouls in travel

It’s a slaughter game

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At the rec level, they should be doing what they can to make sure the teams are roughly level in terms of skill, so that when the teams play each other, it is fun for all the teams.

What usually happens is that the stronger teams try to stay together. Some leagues are better at preventing this than others. Usually though, the coaches have some sort of "draft" and if the friend's coach doesn't think your DC is good, they won't draft them.

OP here- you are right. But it’s not just the coaches, its the parents too who don’t want to share their teams registration code. It’s just sad to see your kid looking forward to playing a sport with his friends only to find out he can’t because the team is too good and he is a beginner..

Yes, this is what the US has come to in terms of intensity of extra-curriculars and unavailability of "walk-on" groups. My daughter is an advanced orchestral player, started her instrument really young, and I had to find compassionate words to tell another parent that no, their late-elementary beginner would probably not be accepted into the same youth orchestra as my daughter. You can't expect kids who have worked hard to attain a certain level to be lumped in with others who will play a ton of wrong notes and can't sight-read. Same for sports, I imagine.

We're talking about REC sports. Not club, not travel, no tryouts. Way to miss the point, you snob. These are CHILDREN. There should be a place for children to join and learn and participate without parents freaking out that their precious prodigy might have to deal with someone not being as amazing as they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At the rec level, they should be doing what they can to make sure the teams are roughly level in terms of skill, so that when the teams play each other, it is fun for all the teams.

What usually happens is that the stronger teams try to stay together. Some leagues are better at preventing this than others. Usually though, the coaches have some sort of "draft" and if the friend's coach doesn't think your DC is good, they won't draft them.

OP here- you are right. But it’s not just the coaches, its the parents too who don’t want to share their teams registration code. It’s just sad to see your kid looking forward to playing a sport with his friends only to find out he can’t because the team is too good and he is a beginner..

Yes, this is what the US has come to in terms of intensity of extra-curriculars and unavailability of "walk-on" groups. My daughter is an advanced orchestral player, started her instrument really young, and I had to find compassionate words to tell another parent that no, their late-elementary beginner would probably not be accepted into the same youth orchestra as my daughter. You can't expect kids who have worked hard to attain a certain level to be lumped in with others who will play a ton of wrong notes and can't sight-read. Same for sports, I imagine.

We're talking about REC sports. Not club, not travel, no tryouts. Way to miss the point, you snob. These are CHILDREN. There should be a place for children to join and learn and participate without parents freaking out that their precious prodigy might have to deal with someone not being as amazing as they are.

OP here- thanks PP

Not to mention these kids will have no chance of making a high school team anyway. Its so selfish to not give them opportunities to try a sport on rec teams either.

[Anonymous]

Yeah. Tough scene. My only rec experience recently has been rec basketball where, until they get to HS age, every player is evaluated before the season and every player (other than the coach's kid) is eligible to be drafted by any team (i.e. no "keepers" and super teams). If they have enough kids, there are two divisions with the more advanced players playing in one division and less advanced in the other.