Are male babysitters not a thing here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two boys, I would not hire a male babysitter. I just wouldn’t. I realize it’s a double standard, but I was molester by a male babysitter and it’s not worth the risk for me.

You will one day reap the irony of failing to trust young men when your young men are not trusted one day.

Oh shut up. What kind of parent would put their kids in the same situation they were molested in.

Ok. Just be prepared for your kids to always be viewed as pedophiles.

It's ok. My son will get over the discrimination over babysitting and daycare jobs.

Nope. You are failing to understand that boys are being discriminated for everything these days. Just watch the responses I receive for saying this. But it's true. Young men are the fall guys for all of society's ills, even if your young man is good, educated, kind, and loving.

[Anonymous]

Not a progressive, but I do actually prefer male babysitters! I have 3 boys, 1 with asd, and the boys just handle the energy better. But it took a very trusted family friend’s son and some time to get there. Ultimately I decided I had to look/assess the individual. Now I just wish more males would go into early education and therapist roles. Oh well!

[Anonymous]

There are many on the DCUM who don’t trust male teachers. Why would anyone think they would trust a male babysitter?

Because female teachers never ever abuse students…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not a progressive, but I do actually prefer male babysitters! I have 3 boys, 1 with asd, and the boys just handle the energy better. But it took a very trusted family friend’s son and some time to get there. Ultimately I decided I had to look/assess the individual. Now I just wish more males would go into early education and therapist roles. Oh well!

We have a son who would love to pursue a career in education and it is extremely difficult to support him. DH and I look often tease about we hope he finds a doctor wife or someone who was born with money. It's unfortunate that we can't just tell him to go out and do what he loves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a progressive, but I do actually prefer male babysitters! I have 3 boys, 1 with asd, and the boys just handle the energy better. But it took a very trusted family friend’s son and some time to get there. Ultimately I decided I had to look/assess the individual. Now I just wish more males would go into early education and therapist roles. Oh well!

We have a son who would love to pursue a career in education and it is extremely difficult to support him. DH and I look often tease about we hope he finds a doctor wife or someone who was born with money. It's unfortunate that we can't just tell him to go out and do what he loves.

Why can’t you? I don’t get it. You don’t think he would make enough money but you would be ok with a daughter making the same? Or is it that you don’t think he will get hired as a man ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are many on the DCUM who don’t trust male teachers. Why would anyone think they would trust a male babysitter?

Because female teachers never ever abuse students…

I trust male teachers. But I would hire a teen sitter and not a 14 yo boy for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a progressive, but I do actually prefer male babysitters! I have 3 boys, 1 with asd, and the boys just handle the energy better. But it took a very trusted family friend’s son and some time to get there. Ultimately I decided I had to look/assess the individual. Now I just wish more males would go into early education and therapist roles. Oh well!

We have a son who would love to pursue a career in education and it is extremely difficult to support him. DH and I look often tease about we hope he finds a doctor wife or someone who was born with money. It's unfortunate that we can't just tell him to go out and do what he loves.

Why can’t you? I don’t get it. You don’t think he would make enough money but you would be ok with a daughter making the same? Or is it that you don’t think he will get hired as a man ?

I will answer you honestly. I don't think he could support a family on that salary. I think that women have the "luxury" (put in quotes because I'm well aware that it's a double-edged sword as I've lived it myself) to choose a lucrative career and then, when kids are born, decide that they are actually better off staying home to care for the children, whether that's forever or just for a bit of time. Not all women feel that way but, just in my experience, I've found that there is a strong biological need for women to stay close to their children when they are young. Some women don't feel that way and some are able to put that desire behind them because they have to work for one reason or another. But men, for the most part, are usually left to keep working to support the family or are told that they don't make enough so they have to stay home to care for the kids (when their biological desire to do so is often lacking). It's usually the woman who has the choice in deciding how this all goes down.

I am very aware that these are generalizations but, without knowing how the future job or economic landscape will be, it's difficult to encourage our son to pursue a career where his salary won't be able to absorb the impact of his partner's choices as they start a family. I want him to be able to tell his partner to do as she sees fit when it comes to their children and her role as a mother. I don't want him to have to look her in the eye and tell her that they need her to stay at her job and put their kid in care when she would otherwise choose to stay home. Of course, if he felt he could stay home and watch the kids and her income could sustain the family, that would be great! But how do you anticipate that when your 19 year old is trying to choose a career?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two boys, I would not hire a male babysitter. I just wouldn’t. I realize it’s a double standard, but I was molester by a male babysitter and it’s not worth the risk for me.

You will one day reap the irony of failing to trust young men when your young men are not trusted one day.

Oh shut up. What kind of parent would put their kids in the same situation they were molested in.

Ok. Just be prepared for your kids to always be viewed as pedophiles.

It's ok. My son will get over the discrimination over babysitting and daycare jobs.

Nope. You are failing to understand that boys are being discriminated for everything these days. Just watch the responses I receive for saying this. But it's true. Young men are the fall guys for all of society's ills, even if your young man is good, educated, kind, and loving.

You’re mistaking accountability for persecution. When I was a young teen girls like me were discouraged from reporting date rape because it might “ruin a young man’s life.” Now young rapists get criminally prosecuted somewhat more often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two boys, I would not hire a male babysitter. I just wouldn’t. I realize it’s a double standard, but I was molester by a male babysitter and it’s not worth the risk for me.

You will one day reap the irony of failing to trust young men when your young men are not trusted one day.

Oh shut up. What kind of parent would put their kids in the same situation they were molested in.

Ok. Just be prepared for your kids to always be viewed as pedophiles.

It's ok. My son will get over the discrimination over babysitting and daycare jobs.

Nope. You are failing to understand that boys are being discriminated for everything these days. Just watch the responses I receive for saying this. But it's true. Young men are the fall guys for all of society's ills, even if your young man is good, educated, kind, and loving.

You’re mistaking accountability for persecution. When I was a young teen girls like me were discouraged from reporting date rape because it might “ruin a young man’s life.” Now young rapists get criminally prosecuted somewhat more often.

Ok. I hear you. You're right. Accountability is far different than persecution. The former is necessary. The latter is a very unfortunate side-effect of all that is changing in society today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two boys, I would not hire a male babysitter. I just wouldn’t. I realize it’s a double standard, but I was molester by a male babysitter and it’s not worth the risk for me.

You will one day reap the irony of failing to trust young men when your young men are not trusted one day.

Oh shut up. What kind of parent would put their kids in the same situation they were molested in.

Ok. Just be prepared for your kids to always be viewed as pedophiles.

It's ok. My son will get over the discrimination over babysitting and daycare jobs.

Nope. You are failing to understand that boys are being discriminated for everything these days. Just watch the responses I receive for saying this. But it's true. Young men are the fall guys for all of society's ills, even if your young man is good, educated, kind, and loving.

You’re mistaking accountability for persecution. When I was a young teen girls like me were discouraged from reporting date rape because it might “ruin a young man’s life.” Now young rapists get criminally prosecuted somewhat more often.

Ok. I hear you. You're right. Accountability is far different than persecution. The former is necessary. The latter is a very unfortunate side-effect of all that is changing in society today.

Give me an example of an innocent and blameless young man being persecuted for being a young man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two boys, I would not hire a male babysitter. I just wouldn’t. I realize it’s a double standard, but I was molester by a male babysitter and it’s not worth the risk for me.

You will one day reap the irony of failing to trust young men when your young men are not trusted one day.

Oh shut up. What kind of parent would put their kids in the same situation they were molested in.

Ok. Just be prepared for your kids to always be viewed as pedophiles.

It's ok. My son will get over the discrimination over babysitting and daycare jobs.

Nope. You are failing to understand that boys are being discriminated for everything these days. Just watch the responses I receive for saying this. But it's true. Young men are the fall guys for all of society's ills, even if your young man is good, educated, kind, and loving.

You’re mistaking accountability for persecution. When I was a young teen girls like me were discouraged from reporting date rape because it might “ruin a young man’s life.” Now young rapists get criminally prosecuted somewhat more often.

Ok. I hear you. You're right. Accountability is far different than persecution. The former is necessary. The latter is a very unfortunate side-effect of all that is changing in society today.

Give me an example of an innocent and blameless young man being persecuted for being a young man.

This entire thread. Yes, persecuted might be a strong word but most of the posters said that they would not hire a male babysitter. Full stop. There is no consideration for his individual maturity or aptitude for the job. They just think that young men are likely abusers of their kids so they just won't hire them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a progressive, but I do actually prefer male babysitters! I have 3 boys, 1 with asd, and the boys just handle the energy better. But it took a very trusted family friend’s son and some time to get there. Ultimately I decided I had to look/assess the individual. Now I just wish more males would go into early education and therapist roles. Oh well!

We have a son who would love to pursue a career in education and it is extremely difficult to support him. DH and I look often tease about we hope he finds a doctor wife or someone who was born with money. It's unfortunate that we can't just tell him to go out and do what he loves.

Why can’t you? I don’t get it. You don’t think he would make enough money but you would be ok with a daughter making the same? Or is it that you don’t think he will get hired as a man ?

I will answer you honestly. I don't think he could support a family on that salary. I think that women have the "luxury" (put in quotes because I'm well aware that it's a double-edged sword as I've lived it myself) to choose a lucrative career and then, when kids are born, decide that they are actually better off staying home to care for the children, whether that's forever or just for a bit of time. Not all women feel that way but, just in my experience, I've found that there is a strong biological need for women to stay close to their children when they are young. Some women don't feel that way and some are able to put that desire behind them because they have to work for one reason or another. But men, for the most part, are usually left to keep working to support the family or are told that they don't make enough so they have to stay home to care for the kids (when their biological desire to do so is often lacking). It's usually the woman who has the choice in deciding how this all goes down.

I am very aware that these are generalizations but, without knowing how the future job or economic landscape will be, it's difficult to encourage our son to pursue a career where his salary won't be able to absorb the impact of his partner's choices as they start a family. I want him to be able to tell his partner to do as she sees fit when it comes to their children and her role as a mother. I don't want him to have to look her in the eye and tell her that they need her to stay at her job and put their kid in care when she would otherwise choose to stay home. Of course, if he felt he could stay home and watch the kids and her income could sustain the family, that would be great! But how do you anticipate that when your 19 year old is trying to choose a career?

Wow. A lot of words to say you think women should be home with kids and you want your son’s wife to stay home with kids. Good luck to whoever your son picks. Damn lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a progressive, but I do actually prefer male babysitters! I have 3 boys, 1 with asd, and the boys just handle the energy better. But it took a very trusted family friend’s son and some time to get there. Ultimately I decided I had to look/assess the individual. Now I just wish more males would go into early education and therapist roles. Oh well!

We have a son who would love to pursue a career in education and it is extremely difficult to support him. DH and I look often tease about we hope he finds a doctor wife or someone who was born with money. It's unfortunate that we can't just tell him to go out and do what he loves.

Why can’t you? I don’t get it. You don’t think he would make enough money but you would be ok with a daughter making the same? Or is it that you don’t think he will get hired as a man ?

I will answer you honestly. I don't think he could support a family on that salary. I think that women have the "luxury" (put in quotes because I'm well aware that it's a double-edged sword as I've lived it myself) to choose a lucrative career and then, when kids are born, decide that they are actually better off staying home to care for the children, whether that's forever or just for a bit of time. Not all women feel that way but, just in my experience, I've found that there is a strong biological need for women to stay close to their children when they are young. Some women don't feel that way and some are able to put that desire behind them because they have to work for one reason or another. But men, for the most part, are usually left to keep working to support the family or are told that they don't make enough so they have to stay home to care for the kids (when their biological desire to do so is often lacking). It's usually the woman who has the choice in deciding how this all goes down.

I am very aware that these are generalizations but, without knowing how the future job or economic landscape will be, it's difficult to encourage our son to pursue a career where his salary won't be able to absorb the impact of his partner's choices as they start a family. I want him to be able to tell his partner to do as she sees fit when it comes to their children and her role as a mother. I don't want him to have to look her in the eye and tell her that they need her to stay at her job and put their kid in care when she would otherwise choose to stay home. Of course, if he felt he could stay home and watch the kids and her income could sustain the family, that would be great! But how do you anticipate that when your 19 year old is trying to choose a career?

Wow. A lot of words to say you think women should be home with kids and you want your son’s wife to stay home with kids. Good luck to whoever your son picks. Damn lady.

Would you marry a teacher?

[Anonymous]

I'm not leaving a 14 year old female sitter while going out in the evenings so definitely wouldn't leave a male. Way too young for my comfort so I prefer experience sitters who are 25+.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a progressive, but I do actually prefer male babysitters! I have 3 boys, 1 with asd, and the boys just handle the energy better. But it took a very trusted family friend’s son and some time to get there. Ultimately I decided I had to look/assess the individual. Now I just wish more males would go into early education and therapist roles. Oh well!

We have a son who would love to pursue a career in education and it is extremely difficult to support him. DH and I look often tease about we hope he finds a doctor wife or someone who was born with money. It's unfortunate that we can't just tell him to go out and do what he loves.

Why can’t you? I don’t get it. You don’t think he would make enough money but you would be ok with a daughter making the same? Or is it that you don’t think he will get hired as a man ?

I will answer you honestly. I don't think he could support a family on that salary. I think that women have the "luxury" (put in quotes because I'm well aware that it's a double-edged sword as I've lived it myself) to choose a lucrative career and then, when kids are born, decide that they are actually better off staying home to care for the children, whether that's forever or just for a bit of time. Not all women feel that way but, just in my experience, I've found that there is a strong biological need for women to stay close to their children when they are young. Some women don't feel that way and some are able to put that desire behind them because they have to work for one reason or another. But men, for the most part, are usually left to keep working to support the family or are told that they don't make enough so they have to stay home to care for the kids (when their biological desire to do so is often lacking). It's usually the woman who has the choice in deciding how this all goes down.

I am very aware that these are generalizations but, without knowing how the future job or economic landscape will be, it's difficult to encourage our son to pursue a career where his salary won't be able to absorb the impact of his partner's choices as they start a family. I want him to be able to tell his partner to do as she sees fit when it comes to their children and her role as a mother. I don't want him to have to look her in the eye and tell her that they need her to stay at her job and put their kid in care when she would otherwise choose to stay home. Of course, if he felt he could stay home and watch the kids and her income could sustain the family, that would be great! But how do you anticipate that when your 19 year old is trying to choose a career?

Wow. A lot of words to say you think women should be home with kids and you want your son’s wife to stay home with kids. Good luck to whoever your son picks. Damn lady.

Would you marry a teacher?

I can genuinely say I gave no thought to earning potential in a spouse. I have a good job and make plenty of money. I did not have to fight my biological urge to stay home with my kids and not work. It must have just been missing for me. What can I say.

Also lots of women work who don’t have to financially and don’t want to stay home with kids. Some women like working. I know that is mind blowing.