First semester freshman grades - 2.0

[Anonymous]

OP, is your DD taking her ADHD medication daily? This would be my first question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We can afford. One idea to take the $9000 (the merit) out of her bank account as a way of getting “skin in the game”
She is not a partier, like at all. She is introverted and has a bad case of ADD. She did not take advantage of any of the supports in the school, or what they had to offer. In terms of accommodations, even though she was entitled to some like extended test time. She said socially, She loves it.

Support in feeling better and encourage to do better. Put half of the tuition and have her pay half from her own account. Freshman year can be tough, hope she'll improve next year. Office hours are the key.

[Anonymous]

*mental health and learning disabilities must be sorted out as a team so child feels supported

[Anonymous]

College prof here. Great advice and great support from PPs! I'd just gather their advice together into a plan.

0. Mental-health and medication check: Does DD need a counseling tune-up or a medication rebalance? What plans (gadgets, reminders, something else?) can be put in place to ensure that she takes her meds?

1. The consequence of this academic experience for DD should be not a dressing-down, but rather a couple of mature, honest, proactive conversations that will try to help prevent this happening again. (A GPA below 2.0 in the spring semester could land DD on her school's version of academic probation, and no one wants that.) Here are some possible deliverables for those conversations.

2. List #1: What were the contributing factors / situations / events that produced less-than-ideal outcomes in this semester's classes?

3. List #2: What choices / actions could produce better outcomes next semester? What resources exist on campus to support those choices?

4. Goals outline: In light of the above, what specific steps does DD agree to take? This outline could be a list, a calendar, a spreadsheet, or something else; it could get detailed enough to include website URLs, professors' email addresses, locations of campus offices that DD agrees to consult, dates of upcoming study-skills workshops, etc.

5. Follow-up plan: Should DD agree to update a written goals outline with actions that she takes? Should she agree to regularly scheduled supportive check-ins with you or with a trusted third party?

6. Support plan: To whom or what will DD reach out when the going gets tough? How can those people / resources be put on notice on DD's behalf?

7. Consequence plan: How will DD address falling short of individual goal items? (*Everyone* falls short on things or gets behind, so DD needs to be prepared for that and meet it honestly and head-on.) What will you and DD do together to help her aim for the best possible decision-making? What kinds of changes could be made in her schedule or expectations a semester from now if things don't go as well in the spring? (Summer courses, as another PP mentioned, might help--so might taking 12 cr in a semester in order to get grades up.)

You are right to take DD seriously, first and foremost. Once she is in a good place with herself, you can address the GPA--which I think you are taking with an appropriate degree of seriousness, as well. 2.0 is right on the edge--as an adviser, if I had a student with a 2.0, I would be reducing their courseload and strongly encouraging academic and personal support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We can afford. One idea to take the $9000 (the merit) out of her bank account as a way of getting “skin in the game”
She is not a partier, like at all. She is introverted and has a bad case of ADD. She did not take advantage of any of the supports in the school, or what they had to offer. In terms of accommodations, even though she was entitled to some like extended test time. She said socially, She loves it.

I would not punish her financially if she has ADD. I would set parameters for the future though: if this happens again, X will be the consequence.

[Anonymous]

I strongly recommend lowering course load to the minimum full time and doing a summer class. It was a great way for my DD to remember she’s a good student, get a good grade to increase her GPA a little. She is taking 12 credits both semesters this year and will probably bump up to 15 junior year and still be able to graduate on time because of the summer class and a j term abroad she wants to do next year. Cut down the workload if you can and give her a chance to succeed and regain her confidence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:College prof here. Great advice and great support from PPs! I'd just gather their advice together into a plan.

0. Mental-health and medication check: Does DD need a counseling tune-up or a medication rebalance? What plans (gadgets, reminders, something else?) can be put in place to ensure that she takes her meds?

1. The consequence of this academic experience for DD should be not a dressing-down, but rather a couple of mature, honest, proactive conversations that will try to help prevent this happening again. (A GPA below 2.0 in the spring semester could land DD on her school's version of academic probation, and no one wants that.) Here are some possible deliverables for those conversations.

2. List #1: What were the contributing factors / situations / events that produced less-than-ideal outcomes in this semester's classes?

3. List #2: What choices / actions could produce better outcomes next semester? What resources exist on campus to support those choices?

4. Goals outline: In light of the above, what specific steps does DD agree to take? This outline could be a list, a calendar, a spreadsheet, or something else; it could get detailed enough to include website URLs, professors' email addresses, locations of campus offices that DD agrees to consult, dates of upcoming study-skills workshops, etc.

5. Follow-up plan: Should DD agree to update a written goals outline with actions that she takes? Should she agree to regularly scheduled supportive check-ins with you or with a trusted third party?

6. Support plan: To whom or what will DD reach out when the going gets tough? How can those people / resources be put on notice on DD's behalf?

7. Consequence plan: How will DD address falling short of individual goal items? (*Everyone* falls short on things or gets behind, so DD needs to be prepared for that and meet it honestly and head-on.) What will you and DD do together to help her aim for the best possible decision-making? What kinds of changes could be made in her schedule or expectations a semester from now if things don't go as well in the spring? (Summer courses, as another PP mentioned, might help--so might taking 12 cr in a semester in order to get grades up.)

You are right to take DD seriously, first and foremost. Once she is in a good place with herself, you can address the GPA--which I think you are taking with an appropriate degree of seriousness, as well. 2.0 is right on the edge--as an adviser, if I had a student with a 2.0, I would be reducing their courseload and strongly encouraging academic and personal support.

THANK YOU! I love a laid out course of action, and this really helps.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she's exhausted from the push of the 7-12 grades. A lot of young adults are getting to college and flaming out because they're burned out after the pressure of high school. They get to college and think, "I went through all of that pain just for this?" The burn out is very real.

[Anonymous]

C's get degrees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:C's get degrees.

I've seen this before, and it's true. But C's don't keep a $9000 merit offer. And do C's get you into grad school, if your major is Psych?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for all the support. Just want to give a shout out that this is actually the kindest I’ve ever seen DCUM.
Couple things. I don’t think the school was too hard for her, as someone suggested. This is a large public university that caters to good students and inner city kids. It’s a true mix, and I think it was a good fit for her. Her scores were in the 75th percentile. It was a target school, borderline safety school. She was accepted to “better” schools. The point about the school accepting her knowing this would happen (losing merit aid) is interesting, I never thought of that.
She did have a lot of money in her bank account. She worked for two years scooping ice cream, and got pandemic pay for one of those years. She also had bat mitzvah money and a gift from grandparents. It’s a savings account that she pretty much has never touched.
The hardest part of this, as a parent, is watching her be so hard on herself. She too went to an MCPS school with inflated grades, and where there were no final exams. This week was horrendous for her studying. Something she was not accustomed to it all.
I think we just need to talk to her and see what the real problem was. It wasn’t partying, I think it was a bit of a screen addiction, and the freedom of not having me nag and look at Canvas. She wants to do well.

One thing is that a lot of schools have easy admissions but high weedout rates. A 2.0 might actually be a decent first semester GPA at a school like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My freshman kids first semester grades aren’t looking so hot… she didn’t fail out, but it’s a 2.0, and she withdrew from a class so it was only 13 credits. She will not get her merit aid. At school ranked in the 75 to 100 area. If your kid screwed up first semester freshman year of college, what would you do? Is a 2.0 a serious screw up or am I being crazy? Do I cut her a break because it was the first semester of college and a huge adjustment? She feels pretty dejected right now. I’m not really sure what we can say to her because DH and I are kind of upset about the loss of merit. Thanks.

If she has truly learned her lessons, i'd not be too hard on her. If you are going to F in college, first semester of first year is probably the best time to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We can afford. One idea to take the $9000 (the merit) out of her bank account as a way of getting “skin in the game”
She is not a partier, like at all. She is introverted and has a bad case of ADD. She did not take advantage of any of the supports in the school, or what they had to offer. In terms of accommodations, even though she was entitled to some like extended test time. She said socially, She loves it.

This is such a common problem with college kids. They must be proactive in using their accommodations. Professors and TAs don't actively know who has which type of accommodations off the tops of their heads. Also, a LOT of professors do not like accommodations and if the student isn't forceful and proactive, the professors will simply tell them no.

I used to work in disability services at a large university and had do battle with professors all the time. The most common was not distributing the slides prior to class start. The professors always claimed that the information was propriety and not for distribution. "Don't you distribute the information when you present it?" "No, I don't give copies to anyone." "Right, but presenting the information on screen is, in fact, distributing the information. The slides are not classified information, Professor." "I...well...but..." Exactly. STFU and obey the accommodations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for all the support. Just want to give a shout out that this is actually the kindest I’ve ever seen DCUM.
Couple things. I don’t think the school was too hard for her, as someone suggested. This is a large public university that caters to good students and inner city kids. It’s a true mix, and I think it was a good fit for her. Her scores were in the 75th percentile. It was a target school, borderline safety school. She was accepted to “better” schools. The point about the school accepting her knowing this would happen (losing merit aid) is interesting, I never thought of that.
She did have a lot of money in her bank account. She worked for two years scooping ice cream, and got pandemic pay for one of those years. She also had bat mitzvah money and a gift from grandparents. It’s a savings account that she pretty much has never touched.
The hardest part of this, as a parent, is watching her be so hard on herself. She too went to an MCPS school with inflated grades, and where there were no final exams. This week was horrendous for her studying. Something she was not accustomed to it all.
I think we just need to talk to her and see what the real problem was. It wasn’t partying, I think it was a bit of a screen addiction, and the freedom of not having me nag and look at Canvas. She wants to do well.

My college sophomore is also an MCPS grad. She is at an Ivy. I don't actually know her freshman year GPA but I will say that she struggled. And two things seem clear. First, the kids at top prep schools and the like were much better prepared. I asked her if she thought they were more advanced or just worked harder and she said that they were in the habit of studying hard, many hours, and she was not. (I think that in addition to this, they knew more material, so part of what she was learning from scratch was review for them.).

Second, the Covid online learning year really hit her hard. She took BC calc online in HS. She knew she didn't learn much so signed up for the equivalent of AB in freshman year. For whatever reason, that course was also online and she really struggled. The next year, she took the follow on class (equivalent to second semester of BC). It was in person and smaller and she went to see the TA and discovered that there were whole swaths of material that she didn't know that she didn't know. It was just missing from her knowledge base and she didn't know it existed. Once she learned it, she really turned a corner and is now majoring in applied math.

So your kid is not alone-- freshman and sophomores are struggling nationwide. (I work at a university and the hallway conversations are usually about how badly kids are doing this year and last). Consider lightening her schedule somehow (adding an easy/less homework class to give her more time). See if you're allowed to transfer in summer community college courses, which might shore up her knowledge a bit. And of course, figure out how to make her take advantage of the services available.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We can afford. One idea to take the $9000 (the merit) out of her bank account as a way of getting “skin in the game”
She is not a partier, like at all. She is introverted and has a bad case of ADD. She did not take advantage of any of the supports in the school, or what they had to offer. In terms of accommodations, even though she was entitled to some like extended test time. She said socially, She loves it.

Don’t punish her. It sounds like she needs support to figure out what happened. Help her find solutions.

Yes baby your adult. That will work.