First semester freshman grades - 2.0

[Anonymous]

My freshman kids first semester grades aren’t looking so hot… she didn’t fail out, but it’s a 2.0, and she withdrew from a class so it was only 13 credits. She will not get her merit aid. At school ranked in the 75 to 100 area. If your kid screwed up first semester freshman year of college, what would you do? Is a 2.0 a serious screw up or am I being crazy? Do I cut her a break because it was the first semester of college and a huge adjustment? She feels pretty dejected right now. I’m not really sure what we can say to her because DH and I are kind of upset about the loss of merit. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

If she’s already feeling dejected I would be gentle with her and discuss went wrong after the holidays (too much partying, classes were too hard, etc). Can you afford the tuition without merit?

[Anonymous]

My kid didn’t have a 2.0 first semester but a 2.5 second and it was very tough on her and us. She decided afterward to change from her pre-med major to something she actually enjoys and does well in. She had alot of medical issues as well as mental health issues which added to the tough semester.

I paid for her to do a summer class which helped raise her GPA and we got her some therapy to get herself in a better mental health space.

I’d ask your dd what she thought was the issue. If there’s something you do to support her, do it, but more than likely she needed the wake up call.

[Anonymous]

We can afford. One idea to take the $9000 (the merit) out of her bank account as a way of getting “skin in the game”
She is not a partier, like at all. She is introverted and has a bad case of ADD. She did not take advantage of any of the supports in the school, or what they had to offer. In terms of accommodations, even though she was entitled to some like extended test time. She said socially, She loves it.

[Anonymous]

If she is dejected, then it sounds like she cares - so I'd sit down with her and problem solve.

See if she understands what happened and what she can do about it. Did she have too much fun and not enough work? Is she facing academic challenges or being exposed to a rigor she's not accustomed to? Does she need to get support via school services? Does she have friend study groups? Does she need to be talking to teachers more? Combo of any of the above? And - is she happy at the school - still feel it's the right choice but just needs to "solve the puzzle" or "buckle down a bit"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We can afford. One idea to take the $9000 (the merit) out of her bank account as a way of getting “skin in the game”
She is not a partier, like at all. She is introverted and has a bad case of ADD. She did not take advantage of any of the supports in the school, or what they had to offer. In terms of accommodations, even though she was entitled to some like extended test time. She said socially, She loves it.

Don’t punish her. It sounds like she needs support to figure out what happened. Help her find solutions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We can afford. One idea to take the $9000 (the merit) out of her bank account as a way of getting “skin in the game”
She is not a partier, like at all. She is introverted and has a bad case of ADD. She did not take advantage of any of the supports in the school, or what they had to offer. In terms of accommodations, even though she was entitled to some like extended test time. She said socially, She loves it.

If school is very large - you probably need to help her to go find how/where to get the support she needs. It also sounds like it will be important for her to engage with teachers (vs being fly on the wall) . Since that is probably a "hard sell" to an introvert - at least get her to go to school support offices to take advantage of those services. And absolutely ask for extra time if she feels it would help with exams.

[Anonymous]

If her grades are better next semester, will she get the aid back? What GPA must she maintain to keep it? Can you afford to send her without this aid? I would also be inclined to give her one more semester, but if she can’t maintain her merit aid, then she’ll have to come up with Plan B.

When I was freshman I got horrible grades! It wasn’t a big deal - no scholarship hinged on my grades- and they improved as time went on. But in your case, when money is on the line, the stakes are high. She should feel this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We can afford. One idea to take the $9000 (the merit) out of her bank account as a way of getting “skin in the game”
She is not a partier, like at all. She is introverted and has a bad case of ADD. She did not take advantage of any of the supports in the school, or what they had to offer. In terms of accommodations, even though she was entitled to some like extended test time. She said socially, She loves it.

Don’t punish her. It sounds like she needs support to figure out what happened. Help her find solutions.

Yes, make a plan with her about using accommodations. Does she take medication? Maybe that needs a tweak. I agree about being gentle, but don't gloss over the gravity of the situation either. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We can afford. One idea to take the $9000 (the merit) out of her bank account as a way of getting “skin in the game”
She is not a partier, like at all. She is introverted and has a bad case of ADD. She did not take advantage of any of the supports in the school, or what they had to offer. In terms of accommodations, even though she was entitled to some like extended test time. She said socially, She loves it.

I'm sorry OP. My DD has some similar issues and this could be her depending on how finals go. She has an A in one class, a B in one, a C in one, and a D, but finals are next week so who knows. I think all but the A could change. I am feeling OK about it because she had serious enough mental health issues in high school that just being at college and doing ok is a massive win. That said, I cannot afford to pay for tuition for classes she fails. We have talked about it and she knows that my expectations right now are passing grades and then she will have to step it up next semester.

I'm impressed that your DD has $9k+ in her bank account (mine definitely does not!), but I don't think I'd take it away from her just yet. Maybe she has to work this summer and make up a certain percentage of the aid she lost?

[Anonymous]

Find her someone to work with her on how to manage everything with her ADHD. We found a psychologist who specialized in this and it was only 1 session but it really helped. She's going to need these skills for the rest of her life so she should learn them now. Wake up early, exercise, cold shower, day planner, find accommodations... Hearing this from parents doesn't work so you need to find a professional.

[Anonymous]

If it helps, I started off college with a thud. A 2.4 at a top 40 school. My parents took the wait and see approach. I ended up with a 3.5 and went on to finish a phd in economics. It just takes some of us a little while longer to ripen.

[Anonymous]

How does she have $9k in her bank account? Being mosey but that's a lot of money!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it helps, I started off college with a thud. A 2.4 at a top 40 school. My parents took the wait and see approach. I ended up with a 3.5 and went on to finish a phd in economics. It just takes some of us a little while longer to ripen.

I'm the PP with a DD who may end up in a similar situation to OP's. Thanks for posting this!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How does she have $9k in her bank account? Being mosey but that's a lot of money!

I was gonna say my DD doesn’t even have $900 in her bank account lol