Have you ever been truly ill when you have had kids?

[Anonymous]

Yup. I developed sepsis when DC#3 was three weeks old, related to surgery I had. Stayed four nights in the hospital while DH frantically managed a four year old, two year old, and newborn. That sucked.

Less hideous: (1) DH and I having the flu simultaneously when we just had two kids, who were one and three at the time. Lots of screens. (2) Having a stomach bug and caring for the baby while DH took the older two out. I remember leaving him on his changing table because I had to puke. Good times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Picture this- Feb 2021 (height of COVID). I have a 2yo and a 3 WEEK old. Dh took two weeks off work after birth then got stuck on a last minute trip across the country. He leaves. 3 hours later I start puking/pooping (at the same time) my brains out. I had a C section and truly thought I was going to rip my entire incision back open I was throwing up so violently. No one would come help be because it was COVID and I had a stomach bug. I spent 48 hours on the bathroom floor with a newborn latched to my boob and a two year old running rampant doing god knows what because I wasn't watching her.

Omg, this sounds appalling! I had food poisoning when my kids were 2 and 3 months. It only lasted 24 hours and was on a day the 2yo was able to go to daycare and that was horrible enough! I feel you on the vomiting/having diarrhea while nursing, though. Things I never ever want to experience again.

We all had norovirus last week, but thankfully that was only about 12 hours per person and staggered so while I had to listen to my 3yo commentates on my vomiting, at least she wasn’t vomiting at the same time.

To OP, you just get through. If it’s a true emergency (like hospitalization) you pay and/or lean on your support network. I hope you don’t get wiped out by anything for the next ten years, though. Lead a charmed life; someone should get to!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yup. I developed sepsis when DC#3 was three weeks old, related to surgery I had. Stayed four nights in the hospital while DH frantically managed a four year old, two year old, and newborn. That sucked.

Less hideous: (1) DH and I having the flu simultaneously when we just had two kids, who were one and three at the time. Lots of screens. (2) Having a stomach bug and caring for the baby while DH took the older two out. I remember leaving him on his changing table because I had to puke. Good times.

My mom developed sepsis after an urgent c-section to deliver my IUGR little brother at ~35 weeks. That meant a couple weeks later, my dad was home with a 6 y/o, 4 y/o and 4lb newborn while my mom was fighting for her life in the ICU. I have no idea what he did.

A few years later, my dad had a major illness that, after a month of trying to ID the problem, required open heart surgery. He was hospitalized for three months, at least half of which was in the ICU. That meant my mom, who was traveling extensively for work at the time, had a 9 y/o, 7 y/o and 3 y/o at home while my dad fought for his life and then during his months-long recovery after discharge. Several of their friends took turns staying with us to help out, many flying in from out of town. When I think about it now it's hard to fathom who'd show up for us like that. Are things different these days? Is it just the nature of my/spouse's friendships, that we don't think many of them would do the same?

It's all relative -- I had a very COVID-like illness in Feb 2020 and was out of commission for almost a week, with a 5 y/o and 2 y/o. Spouse and MIL covered things. That's probably the worst in my own experience, but nothing compared to my parents. :shrug:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yup. I developed sepsis when DC#3 was three weeks old, related to surgery I had. Stayed four nights in the hospital while DH frantically managed a four year old, two year old, and newborn. That sucked.

Less hideous: (1) DH and I having the flu simultaneously when we just had two kids, who were one and three at the time. Lots of screens. (2) Having a stomach bug and caring for the baby while DH took the older two out. I remember leaving him on his changing table because I had to puke. Good times.

1 is seriously ill. 2 is not you could have vomited in changing table.

[Anonymous]

I had open heart surgery when my kids were early elementary. My mother came for the week I was in the hospital and my husband did everything after I came home until I could walk around again.

[Anonymous]

Yup, I had just driven myself and my nearly 2 year old son 8 hours north to visit my mom and dad for the week, when I cam down with flu-like symptoms. I was feverish (104) and weak and could barely keep any food down. I was SO lucky to be with my parents because they took much better care of me and my son than my husband would have done!! But it was a bummer of a trip.

I remember my dad looking at me wondering why I was still in bed one morning and I begged him to take care of my son because I was so sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All I can say from reading (most of?) these replies is that it must be nice to be a husband. Sheesh.

Ugh, seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had open heart surgery when my kids were early elementary. My mother came for the week I was in the hospital and my husband did everything after I came home until I could walk around again.

You couldn’t keep me away from my adult child if he/she was having open heart surgery, period.

[Anonymous]

Get your flu shots! Serious illnesses are not 24 hour stomach bugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha yes.

Three options (or a combo of the three):

1. Just basically don’t take care of them. Screens, cereal, no baths, they miss activities, etc.

2. Get help. Spouse takes time off and coordinates getting help, neighbors take them to school, babysitters, hire someone to clean, etc. the trick here is you have to ask.

3. Ship them off to grandparent’s house.

I am not quite sure why you have this anxiety; it seems like an odd thing for a healthy person to be so concerned about. But take heart: your kids will survive!

As someone who did 26 weeks of chemo with two kids under five, 1 and 2 for us. No grandparents. You just make it work. My kids watched an insane amount of tv.

Wow that sucks. Grandparents helped when I had to leave the state to get an emergency surgery and was gone for two weeks and it was an extraordinary busy time for DH. We put our kids on a plane and sent them across the country. Definitely a last resort kind of thing.

[Anonymous]

If it's just me, I stay in bed and spouse takes over everything.

There has only been one time that we were both very ill at the same time. Our son was 6 at the time. Neither DH nor I could get out of bed. It was a year or so ago and I think it was covid even though we tested negative. For about two days we seriously couldn't even manage to walk down the stairs. Our son watched tv, ate whatever he could find in the pantry, and survived. He was bored but fine.

[Anonymous]

Do you have a partner? I was very sick with OG Covid in 2020, like I slept and coughed for two weeks straight and then I had a month-long recovery which also required a lot of rest and very limited physical activity. DH was working from home and handled the children (who were 4 and 7 at the time, so one of them was just home from preschool and the other one was in virtual school). He managed just fine, one kid missed an online activity one time, but that was totally fine. He's a great partner and father! <3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All I can say from reading (most of?) these replies is that it must be nice to be a husband. Sheesh.

Ugh, seriously.

I guess you don't have parents or siblings or good friends either? I don't know why anyone would be a single mom by choice without setting up a great support network first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All I can say from reading (most of?) these replies is that it must be nice to be a husband. Sheesh.

Ugh, seriously.

I guess you don't have parents or siblings or good friends either? I don't know why anyone would be a single mom by choice without setting up a great support network first.

Pp here. You misread the original post this "ugh seriously" person was agreeing with. It says, it must be nice to be a husband, not have a husband. Ha!

[Anonymous]

DH and I have never been sick enough (at the same time) to have it be a problem.

Our kids are in middle school, but I just had a medical procedure. He will keep the house running. His version of that is takeout for dinner and the kids buying school lunch. Which is absolutely fine. They get to school and sports practices and appointments and such.

When he had an acute medical issue - I called in reinforcements. His mom came to sit by his bedside. My mom came to take care of our kids. Between the time he was first hospitalized and my mom arrived, some family friends had my kids for nearly a week. So yes, these type of friends still exist. But - you have to nurture these relationships. No one is going to take care of your kids for days/weeks/months if you’ve said no to minor requests for help in the past.