Teach your kids manners and while you're at it, have some yourselves!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid, age 5, is very good at saying thank you but really struggled with "trick or treat!" last night. She said it the first time with our prompting, but then pretty much every other time, she would go up with her friend, collect candy, say thank you, and then say "trick or treat!" as she was walking away. She's a bit on the shy side when it comes to strangers, though it gets better every day as she gains more experience dealing with people.

I do think it's important to have realistic expectations of kids. Also, you have no idea if you are the first or 50th house they've been to -- they might be tired. I think the fact that parents were rude or didn't say thank you or "happy halloween" or something is a bigger deal -- modeling good manners and also just neighborly friendliness is really important. But if the kids don't get the halloween etiquette perfectly? Eh, cut them some slack. It doesn't mean they have bad manners, it may just mean they are still learning.

OP here - yes, maybe I should have worded my post clearly --- this is really what I'm most annoyed about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh man this gives me so much anxiety. I feel like I spent all of last night lingering over 3.5 yr old DD reminding her to say thank you. She’s usually a polite kid but it just doesn’t stick for Halloween.

It sounds like you did the right thing, I don't know why this would give you anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You say "happy halloween" and give candy because you want to give kids candy.

That's it. That's the transaction.

It's nice if they say thanks, but if you are expecting it, then you are in the wrong.

It's like giving a homeless person $20. You give it to help out. They buy food or they buy beer. You don't control the outcome. You don't consider yourself the great savior.

No, sorry, teach your kids to be gracious and kind just like the person giving them candy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, put up a lighted board with your rules on your porch next year.

DP but WTF? Saying thank you should be a given. Your kids must be such a-holes with a parent like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was astounded by the number of kids that were accompanied by their parents but still didn't say "trick or treat" or thank me for the huge handful of candy I gave them. Their parents were right next to them, and even they didn't say thank you!!!

If you expect a thank you, you’re not a good giver. It’s a holiday, kids are excited and forget manners, and parents are exhausted. Get over yourself.

Parents are exhausted? Really? That's your excuse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You say "happy halloween" and give candy because you want to give kids candy.

That's it. That's the transaction.

It's nice if they say thanks, but if you are expecting it, then you are in the wrong.

It's like giving a homeless person $20. You give it to help out. They buy food or they buy beer. You don't control the outcome. You don't consider yourself the great savior.

No, sorry, teach your kids to be gracious and kind just like the person giving them candy.

DP. Some of y'all are rewriting what Halloween is about. Kids are threatening you - Give us candy or we'll play a trick on you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, put up a lighted board with your rules on your porch next year.

With a flashing arrow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was astounded by the number of kids that were accompanied by their parents but still didn't say "trick or treat" or thank me for the huge handful of candy I gave them. Their parents were right next to them, and even they didn't say thank you!!!

You sound cranky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is 4 and very shy. She often whispers to adults she doesn’t know. I’m sure quite a few adults didn’t hear her say thank you last night.

Some kids are shy, some are too excited/forget, some might just be rude. Whatever.

She can still say thank you. Stop making excuses because you are a crap parent.

DP but this child is FOUR. Are you a parent? Have you ever had a 4 yo? My kid is unfailingly polite now as a 6 yr old but at 4 she could barely make eye contact and IIRC, at a number of houses on that Halloween, she simply hid behind us while we collected candy on her behalf. We would say thank you, but it was totally unreasonable for anyone involved to expect her to say thank you at that age.

Growing up is a process. Stop expecting kids to go from babies to fully formed and perfect adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was astounded by the number of kids that were accompanied by their parents but still didn't say "trick or treat" or thank me for the huge handful of candy I gave them. Their parents were right next to them, and even they didn't say thank you!!!

Funny, I was annoyed that some of the hander outers were silent or rude to my daughter. My DD said trick or treat and I said thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are the kids you're referring to, OP?

I'm very strict on etiquette expectations and I did make my child say thank you each time last night, but she doesn't get the "trick or treat" saying yet. She's 3. I seriously hope you are not judging preschoolers on this.

Hell yes, I am. If you are standing with your three year old, you need to tell her to say thank you. What is wrong with you?

The person you're responding to said they did make their kid say thank you each time last night just that her kid doesn't say trick or treat.

I thought she was referring to me judging three year olds, I misread.

Also, people, clearly I am not talking about your disabled children - I know some of the children that came by with their parents and I know they have no problem talking to adults, I am CLEARLY not talking about disabled children.

My nephew is disabled and has no problem saying "please and thank you."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was astounded by the number of kids that were accompanied by their parents but still didn't say "trick or treat" or thank me for the huge handful of candy I gave them. Their parents were right next to them, and even they didn't say thank you!!!

Funny, I was annoyed that some of the hander outers were silent or rude to my daughter. My DD said trick or treat and I said thank you!

The candy was given to your child who should have said thank you. What do you think the person giving out treats should have said? I am sure everyone was "wowed" by the costumes and said so and that is enough

[Anonymous]

OK, MeeMaw. We’ll get off your lawn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agreed. Virtually none of the kids said "Trick or Treat," and only a few said thank you.

I asked my kids to say TOT and Thank you while I stood at the end of the driveway. Mostly they were too shy to do it. Most of the adults helped them out by saying Happy Halloween! and What a cute costume!

Sorry.

DP: If my kids feel "too shy" to say thank you for what they're given, then it is taken away. They can't have something if they can't receive it properly.

Your free candy isn’t that important or valuable. There are houses throughout the neighborhood with less rigid, snotty adults who are also giving our free candy to children. Bye.

[Anonymous]

“Astounded?” A life, OP. Get one.