Age to babysit siblings at night

[Anonymous]

Our 12 yo much prefers to babysit vs is hiring someone. For short durations, we do not pay her in cash. Often she is “paid” in free access to snacks and screens after the siblings go to bed. If she is watching them for longer or if we want her to act like a babysitter (play the games her siblings want, be extra sweet to them) we do pay her.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the thoughts and advice. All helpful. Yeah, I was planning to pay the eldest and thinking about incentive pay for the other two.

I guess my big question is does the eldest go to sleep if parents are out late? Ours definitely needs her sleep and is usually asleep at the same time as our youngest or just after. Middle kid is the night owl.

I'm the one with six kids. When one of them is babysitting, we just say that one goes to sleep last. After the younger ones are in bed and settled. They don't have to wait until the others are asleep, but they have to be settled in bed, lights out (or secretly reading with a flashlight).

You shouldn't have your oldest parent the younger kids. Your responsibility.

My 14 year old would be pissed if I paid someone to be there to watch her siblings when I could just pay her….

It’s ok to give her a job, but pay the going rate.

Do you pay your child to take out the trash, sort outgrown clothes for donation, walk the dog, prepare a family dinner or make a bed? Some parents tie allowance to chores and others don’t. I’ve seen a lot of debates about this on DCUM and there are valid points to each side. Some parents would also consider occasional babysitting of siblings part of that chore package, and alongside that, may or may not pay.

The chore package should be fair. If the older siblings have to babysit for free or below the going rate, the younger siblings should receive chores that the older ones don’t have.

Yes, agree.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Never, they are not the 13 year olds responsibility. Your kids. Use the sitter.

+1

Nope.

Ok, bad parent.

Couldn’t disagree with you more. Part of being in a family involves helping out, it’s no different than vacuuming or helping clean out the garage. I might cut the teen some slack in terms of his other chores that week if he/she is babysitting, but I am not going to feel obligated to pay. The teen is getting babysitting experience that can be used for a paying job, and knows that the help is appreciated. And it’s not like it’s every Saturday night. But the idea that a teen should be paid for helping out the parents from time to time to me is just ridiculous.

np. ita. I think DCUM is so weird with this idea that kids should never be expected to contribute to the family.

That’s not contributing that is parenting.

+1

Babysitting is not parenting.

I think it's ok occasionally and if you pay the older one to do it but should not be regular sitter. I also agree that they younger ones should have paid chores so all the kids help out while parents are away. That helps teach them all to be responsible.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Never, they are not the 13 year olds responsibility. Your kids. Use the sitter.

+1

Nope.

Ok, bad parent.

Couldn’t disagree with you more. Part of being in a family involves helping out, it’s no different than vacuuming or helping clean out the garage. I might cut the teen some slack in terms of his other chores that week if he/she is babysitting, but I am not going to feel obligated to pay. The teen is getting babysitting experience that can be used for a paying job, and knows that the help is appreciated. And it’s not like it’s every Saturday night. But the idea that a teen should be paid for helping out the parents from time to time to me is just ridiculous.

np. ita. I think DCUM is so weird with this idea that kids should never be expected to contribute to the family.

That’s not contributing that is parenting.

+1

Babysitting is not parenting.

I think it's ok occasionally and if you pay the older one to do it but should not be regular sitter. I also agree that they younger ones should have paid chores so all the kids help out while parents are away. That helps teach them all to be responsible.

Giving them money isn’t teaching them to be responsible family members.

[Anonymous]

I think it is very condiderate of you to even ask.
I say this as a person who had to stop playing a game and go smooth a baby to sleep at the age of ten.
I was the stand in household nanny and the babysitter, sometimes my parents happily left him with me for an entire weekend, or even more. He did not like it, said no to everything I said, I have for years felt guilty for not having more patience, it was not fair on me or even him, but what can you do?
I would say that at the very least, listen to your kid. Does the baby of the family want to be left with the sibling? If the sibling says no, is it OK with you?

I was accused of being childish for saying that I do not have a child
This was not fair for me or for him. He had to grow up listening me and my mom, dad have a shouting match about whether or not I should babysit. I was not a teen mom, teen moms have 9 months to get used to the idea, I didn’t even get that, didn’t have the patience and definitely not the family support. Just the blame
Don’t do that to your kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is very condiderate of you to even ask.
I say this as a person who had to stop playing a game and go smooth a baby to sleep at the age of ten.
I was the stand in household nanny and the babysitter, sometimes my parents happily left him with me for an entire weekend, or even more. He did not like it, said no to everything I said, I have for years felt guilty for not having more patience, it was not fair on me or even him, but what can you do?
I would say that at the very least, listen to your kid. Does the baby of the family want to be left with the sibling? If the sibling says no, is it OK with you?

I was accused of being childish for saying that I do not have a child
This was not fair for me or for him. He had to grow up listening me and my mom, dad have a shouting match about whether or not I should babysit. I was not a teen mom, teen moms have 9 months to get used to the idea, I didn’t even get that, didn’t have the patience and definitely not the family support. Just the blame
Don’t do that to your kid

OP is not doing anything that your horrible family did. Can we stay on point.

[Anonymous]

Are there legal rules for the age cutoff? Can I have my 12 year old stay with my 5 year old?