If you are a working mom, why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Heart Surgeon Mommy pops up on every one of these threads to remind us all of how important she is. It's a little weird, and a little sad, I must say.

I think she’s symbolic. It is a powerful reminder when we vehemently debate this issue how many working women our children depend on. Too many SAHMs are so judgmental about WOHMs but still depend on their female doctors, dentists, therapists, children’s teachers, nurses, grocery store clerks, farmers, etc.

We do not live in a society where mothers can not participate.

This. Some SAHMs judge the hell out of WOHMs but depend on WOHMs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The term working mom is archaic and needs to go. No one calls fathers w/ jobs working dads. My husband is a stay at home parent so one of us needs to work. I had better earning potential when we had children and he wanted to step back. It has worked well for us but is very hard for some strangers to handle - particularly at school events when the other mom's constantly mention that they see my husband all the time but don't see me as often - shocker how often are their husbands there?

Totally agree 'working mom' is misogynistic.

DH and I both WFH part time. We are a partnership and totally interchangeable. We also had a nanny until the youngest was 6 so we could both attend school events and activities for the older ones. Kids are in private and we are both shocked at the low paternal participation. Moms on the other hand are a bit too cliquey for me to fully engage, although I do participate. People often ask if we work because we are both involved.

OP - I work because I didn't get a PhD to clean vomit and snot. I got it because I love my field. DH is the same. It's possible to want and get all that life has to offer - great spouse, fulfilling career, wonderful kids, good health, etc. I'm raising my kids to do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you decide to keep working after having your baby(ies)? What made you decide to continue to work? Was it a financial decision?

I am your baby’s heart surgeon. Do you really want me to quit my job?

My baby doesn't need a heart surgeon. But if she ever did, I'd worry about one who has nothing better to do than crow about herself on an anonymous mommy website.

Np you are the worst pp. The question was asked and answered by the pp. There was no crowing. Would you say this if a man had written it? Hell NO! Thank you heart surgeon! You ROCK

You missed my post where I point out that she is on this website TIME AND AGAIN reminding us that she is a very important heart surgeon. Once or twice, sure -- she gets a pass. But over and over? It's ODD.

Symbolic. Don’t take it so personally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Heart Surgeon Mommy pops up on every one of these threads to remind us all of how important she is. It's a little weird, and a little sad, I must say.

I think she’s symbolic. It is a powerful reminder when we vehemently debate this issue how many working women our children depend on. Too many SAHMs are so judgmental about WOHMs but still depend on their female doctors, dentists, therapists, children’s teachers, nurses, grocery store clerks, farmers, etc.

We do not live in a society where mothers can not participate.

This. Some SAHMs judge the hell out of WOHMs but depend on WOHMs.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find sitting around while kids nap painfully boring.

They sleep 10 hours a night and 4 hours a day.

If I work 8 hours I only miss 4 hours of their life. I think it’s weird to want to be with your kids every.single.minute.

I think even SAHM’s agree that is why they are so into independent play. So they aren’t even with their kids every.single.minute.

I don’t clean.

I love to cook though.

I don’t want to be sick of my kids. I treasure all my time with them. I’m the crazy mom that will do the “carpool” but not ask you to drive. I love getting home from work and doing play dates. I love the zoo at 5pm-8pm.

My H feels the same way.

You wouldn't be "bored" for the four hours a day they were sleeping if you stayed home with them. You'd be grateful for the four hours of rest, peace and quiet. You have no idea what you're talking about.

I took 1 year of maternity leave each child so no it’s boring. I don’t need to nap FFS, they sleep at least 10 hours a night after 3 months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find sitting around while kids nap painfully boring.

They sleep 10 hours a night and 4 hours a day.

If I work 8 hours I only miss 4 hours of their life. I think it’s weird to want to be with your kids every.single.minute.

I think even SAHM’s agree that is why they are so into independent play. So they aren’t even with their kids every.single.minute.

I don’t clean.

I love to cook though.

I don’t want to be sick of my kids. I treasure all my time with them. I’m the crazy mom that will do the “carpool” but not ask you to drive. I love getting home from work and doing play dates. I love the zoo at 5pm-8pm.

My H feels the same way.

You wouldn't be "bored" for the four hours a day they were sleeping if you stayed home with them. You'd be grateful for the four hours of rest, peace and quiet. You have no idea what you're talking about.

I took 1 year of maternity leave each child so no it’s boring. I don’t need to nap FFS, they sleep at least 10 hours a night after 3 months.

Also, I don’t want to be “grateful” aka sick of my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The term working mom is archaic and needs to go. No one calls fathers w/ jobs working dads. My husband is a stay at home parent so one of us needs to work. I had better earning potential when we had children and he wanted to step back. It has worked well for us but is very hard for some strangers to handle - particularly at school events when the other mom's constantly mention that they see my husband all the time but don't see me as often - shocker how often are their husbands there?

Totally agree 'working mom' is misogynistic.

DH and I both WFH part time. We are a partnership and totally interchangeable. We also had a nanny until the youngest was 6 so we could both attend school events and activities for the older ones. Kids are in private and we are both shocked at the low paternal participation. Moms on the other hand are a bit too cliquey for me to fully engage, although I do participate. People often ask if we work because we are both involved.

OP - I work because I didn't get a PhD to clean vomit and snot. I got it because I love my field. DH is the same. It's possible to want and get all that life has to offer - great spouse, fulfilling career, wonderful kids, good health, etc. I'm raising my kids to do the same.

You sound insufferable. As for your PhD, I suspect that heart surgeon's contribution to society is more useful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The term working mom is archaic and needs to go. No one calls fathers w/ jobs working dads. My husband is a stay at home parent so one of us needs to work. I had better earning potential when we had children and he wanted to step back. It has worked well for us but is very hard for some strangers to handle - particularly at school events when the other mom's constantly mention that they see my husband all the time but don't see me as often - shocker how often are their husbands there?

Totally agree 'working mom' is misogynistic.

DH and I both WFH part time. We are a partnership and totally interchangeable. We also had a nanny until the youngest was 6 so we could both attend school events and activities for the older ones. Kids are in private and we are both shocked at the low paternal participation. Moms on the other hand are a bit too cliquey for me to fully engage, although I do participate. People often ask if we work because we are both involved.

OP - I work because I didn't get a PhD to clean vomit and snot. I got it because I love my field. DH is the same. It's possible to want and get all that life has to offer - great spouse, fulfilling career, wonderful kids, good health, etc. I'm raising my kids to do the same.

You sound insufferable. As for your PhD, I suspect that heart surgeon's contribution to society is more useful.

Really? She sounds wealthy, successful and happy to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Heart Surgeon Mommy pops up on every one of these threads to remind us all of how important she is. It's a little weird, and a little sad, I must say.

I think she’s symbolic. It is a powerful reminder when we vehemently debate this issue how many working women our children depend on. Too many SAHMs are so judgmental about WOHMs but still depend on their female doctors, dentists, therapists, children’s teachers, nurses, grocery store clerks, farmers, etc.

We do not live in a society where mothers can not participate.

This. Some SAHMs judge the hell out of WOHMs but depend on WOHMs.

Agree.
Plus those SAHM still Rais their daughter to get a great education to become like the WOHMs all the while judging their own generation. Hypocrisy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you decide to keep working after having your baby(ies)? What made you decide to continue to work? Was it a financial decision?

Because I don’t have to justify my decisions to random internet strangers.

[Anonymous]

It was a financial + personal decision.

-I need to keep working to provide for my family.

-I also worked damn hard to get where I am professionally and want to continue contributing to my field.


I did downshift to part-time for two years after my son was born, and TBH, I'd love to work PT forever, but I'm the family breadwinner so it's not really a viable long-term option. Those two years really killed us financially, even though I am glad I made that decision.

The sacrifice I've made is to move into a "mommy track" job so that I can earn enough for our needs, a little extra for our wants, and be home nearly every afternoon with my kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The term working mom is archaic and needs to go. No one calls fathers w/ jobs working dads. My husband is a stay at home parent so one of us needs to work. I had better earning potential when we had children and he wanted to step back. It has worked well for us but is very hard for some strangers to handle - particularly at school events when the other mom's constantly mention that they see my husband all the time but don't see me as often - shocker how often are their husbands there?

Totally agree 'working mom' is misogynistic.

DH and I both WFH part time. We are a partnership and totally interchangeable. We also had a nanny until the youngest was 6 so we could both attend school events and activities for the older ones. Kids are in private and we are both shocked at the low paternal participation. Moms on the other hand are a bit too cliquey for me to fully engage, although I do participate. People often ask if we work because we are both involved.

OP - I work because I didn't get a PhD to clean vomit and snot. I got it because I love my field. DH is the same. It's possible to want and get all that life has to offer - great spouse, fulfilling career, wonderful kids, good health, etc. I'm raising my kids to do the same.

You sound insufferable. As for your PhD, I suspect that heart surgeon's contribution to society is more useful.

Really? She sounds wealthy, successful and happy to me.

Doesn't mean the heart surgeon's profession isn't more useful to society.

[Anonymous]

I’m extremely good at my job. I’m extremely successful in my career. I am a very good mother, but an exceptional one when I come home energized from a professional success. My daughter has dramatically more opportunities (not only financial) because of my work, and is beloved in my workplace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m extremely good at my job. I’m extremely successful in my career. I am a very good mother, but an exceptional one when I come home energized from a professional success. My daughter has dramatically more opportunities (not only financial) because of my work, and is beloved in my workplace.

And you're modest!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find sitting around while kids nap painfully boring.

They sleep 10 hours a night and 4 hours a day.

If I work 8 hours I only miss 4 hours of their life. I think it’s weird to want to be with your kids every.single.minute.

I think even SAHM’s agree that is why they are so into independent play. So they aren’t even with their kids every.single.minute.

I don’t clean.

I love to cook though.

I don’t want to be sick of my kids. I treasure all my time with them. I’m the crazy mom that will do the “carpool” but not ask you to drive. I love getting home from work and doing play dates. I love the zoo at 5pm-8pm.

My H feels the same way.

You wouldn't be "bored" for the four hours a day they were sleeping if you stayed home with them. You'd be grateful for the four hours of rest, peace and quiet. You have no idea what you're talking about.

I took 1 year of maternity leave each child so no it’s boring. I don’t need to nap FFS, they sleep at least 10 hours a night after 3 months.

You missed the best parts of being a SAHM. I have 3 kids - preschool, elementary and middle school. My 3 kids keep me plenty busy. I never feel bored.

When my youngest goes to kindergarten, i plan to go back to work.