At what age are you 100% comfortable leaving your kids to their own devices in a pool?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does camp count? My 8 yo goes into the pool without parental supervision at school and camp, but there are lifeguards.

I used to lifeguard swim team, and there were always dozens of kids at the 8&under practice without a parent in attendance. People saying that they won’t let their kids out of sight until they are 12 are crazy.

I am the first "don't swim alone" poster. If I'm handing my kid off to someone, whether it's another parent who I trust on a playdate, or a swim instructor or coach, or a camp counselor, then that's totally different. When I said 10, I meant for free swim at the neighborhood pool. My kid swam without me there at camp and swim practice long before that.

But until 10 there was always an adult who was specifically responsible for them, like a counselor, instructor, or coach. Not just a lifeguard they may or may not know.

[Anonymous]

13. He's a strong swimmer. It drove me crazy because he's relatively short for his age (I think he was like 4'11" when he first turned 13), and I always had to vouch for his age when he went in (he has a passport with his birth date, but I preferred for him not to take that to the pool).

[Anonymous]

High school? Left to her own devices at home is one thing. Left to her own devices around something as deadly as deep water. Nope. I will be there at the pool until she's in high school. Kids are nuts at the pool. Have you seen kids at the pool?

[Anonymous]

Two or more teenagers alone at a pool is maybe the most risky possibility. My experience with a pool at our home and also at my sister's home has been that teens and also young adults are the most foolish and risk taking and boisterous and dangerous when they are not supervised by a sober, paying attention adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two or more teenagers alone at a pool is maybe the most risky possibility. My experience with a pool at our home and also at my sister's home has been that teens and also young adults are the most foolish and risk taking and boisterous and dangerous when they are not supervised by a sober, paying attention adult.

This, for sure. But also probably out of my control. I could try to tell my teen that they can't go in a friend's pool unless an adult is around, but I also have to recognize I have almost no control over that situation unless I am going to much more closely monitor my kid's social life. I think like everything else safety related, you have to consistently reinforce messages about responsible behavior, and hope they stick when they are put in certain situations and you aren't around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two or more teenagers alone at a pool is maybe the most risky possibility. My experience with a pool at our home and also at my sister's home has been that teens and also young adults are the most foolish and risk taking and boisterous and dangerous when they are not supervised by a sober, paying attention adult.

This, for sure. But also probably out of my control. I could try to tell my teen that they can't go in a friend's pool unless an adult is around, but I also have to recognize I have almost no control over that situation unless I am going to much more closely monitor my kid's social life. I think like everything else safety related, you have to consistently reinforce messages about responsible behavior, and hope they stick when they are put in certain situations and you aren't around.

Well, if I had teenagers I would not allow them to have friends over and hang out by and in the pool unless at least one adult was supervising. They might not like it but I wouldn't care.

I also wouldn't give permission for my teen to go to an event like that, although I recognize that would be difficult to enforce unless you went with them.

Having raised teens and worked with teens for many years, you can reinforce messages about responsible behavior all you want but they are still just teens and when they group together shit happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you mean like let your kid go to a public or community pool with lifeguards and other adults you know around, but you aren't there? If so, our pool has a rule of 10 which seems reasonable to me.

Or do you mean like let them swim in a backyard pool by themselves without an adult? For me, when they've gone through lifeguard training and have a buddy (so 15) or when they turn 18.

You wouldn’t let your kid in the pool without a buddy until they turn 18? Am I misunderstanding?

I would not let my kid swim alone in a pool (e.g. a backyard pool where no one else in in the vicinity, not a public pool) and I wouldn't swim alone myself. I think it's a situation where there is safety in numbers. When they turn 18 they can obviously make their own choice.

That’s…extra.

I agree with the PP. My kids, husband and I are all strong swimmers and none of us, regardless of age, swim in our backyard pool without someone else around. Same with skiing. My kids and I are strong skiers, but none of us ski alone (meaning on slopes where we don't have a buddy or where we aren't always in view of a good number of people). So for us it's not about their being kids, it's about general safety. When we chose our house, though, we specifically chose one where you can see the whole pool out the back family room window, so it's very easy for someone to go for a swim while someone else is in the family room with windows or doors open. Hasn't been difficult for us over many years with this set-up and the kids (teens) don't mind at all.

Interesting. It would never occur to me not to swim alone in a pool.

NP. Not swimming alone is a standard safety guideline around water for adults, not just children.

DP - it is. Red Cross safety standard is never to swim alone. https://www.redcross.org/get-help/how-to-prepare-for-emergencies/types-of-emergencies/water-safety/swim-safety.html

Oh, look at that. Thanks. We’ll listen to the actual experts on water safety, not random nobodies on the internet desperate to seem cool.

[Anonymous]

Do not leave your little kids without you around water. It can all change in an instant. Even bigger kids too. Just google 'child drowns' to see how often and easily it happens. This boy died 15 minutes after being dropped at his fancy country club where I'm sure everyone thought he was safe. The margin for error with water is so so small.

https://meaww.com/martha-vineyard-country-club-manager-pleads-guilty-involuntary-manslaughter-three-year-old-child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not leave your little kids without you around water. It can all change in an instant. Even bigger kids too. Just google 'child drowns' to see how often and easily it happens. This boy died 15 minutes after being dropped at his fancy country club where I'm sure everyone thought he was safe. The margin for error with water is so so small.

https://meaww.com/martha-vineyard-country-club-manager-pleads-guilty-involuntary-manslaughter-three-year-old-child

Did you actually read the thread? Or even the question?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you mean like let your kid go to a public or community pool with lifeguards and other adults you know around, but you aren't there? If so, our pool has a rule of 10 which seems reasonable to me.

Or do you mean like let them swim in a backyard pool by themselves without an adult? For me, when they've gone through lifeguard training and have a buddy (so 15) or when they turn 18.

You wouldn’t let your kid in the pool without a buddy until they turn 18? Am I misunderstanding?

I would not let my kid swim alone in a pool (e.g. a backyard pool where no one else in in the vicinity, not a public pool) and I wouldn't swim alone myself. I think it's a situation where there is safety in numbers. When they turn 18 they can obviously make their own choice.

That’s…extra.

I agree with the PP. My kids, husband and I are all strong swimmers and none of us, regardless of age, swim in our backyard pool without someone else around. Same with skiing. My kids and I are strong skiers, but none of us ski alone (meaning on slopes where we don't have a buddy or where we aren't always in view of a good number of people). So for us it's not about their being kids, it's about general safety. When we chose our house, though, we specifically chose one where you can see the whole pool out the back family room window, so it's very easy for someone to go for a swim while someone else is in the family room with windows or doors open. Hasn't been difficult for us over many years with this set-up and the kids (teens) don't mind at all.

I also agree with PP. Never swim alone. An adult friend of someone I know, drowned while swimming in a backyard pool alone. That person had gone to visit some friends for a long weekend, rest of them had gone out to get something from the store and this happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you mean like let your kid go to a public or community pool with lifeguards and other adults you know around, but you aren't there? If so, our pool has a rule of 10 which seems reasonable to me.

Or do you mean like let them swim in a backyard pool by themselves without an adult? For me, when they've gone through lifeguard training and have a buddy (so 15) or when they turn 18.

You wouldn’t let your kid in the pool without a buddy until they turn 18? Am I misunderstanding?

I would not let my kid swim alone in a pool (e.g. a backyard pool where no one else in in the vicinity, not a public pool) and I wouldn't swim alone myself. I think it's a situation where there is safety in numbers. When they turn 18 they can obviously make their own choice.

That’s…extra.

I agree with the PP. My kids, husband and I are all strong swimmers and none of us, regardless of age, swim in our backyard pool without someone else around. Same with skiing. My kids and I are strong skiers, but none of us ski alone (meaning on slopes where we don't have a buddy or where we aren't always in view of a good number of people). So for us it's not about their being kids, it's about general safety. When we chose our house, though, we specifically chose one where you can see the whole pool out the back family room window, so it's very easy for someone to go for a swim while someone else is in the family room with windows or doors open. Hasn't been difficult for us over many years with this set-up and the kids (teens) don't mind at all.

Honestly, this sounds more dangerous than swimming alone? Just because someone is in the family room with windows open doesn’t mean that person can notice immediately if someone is drowning?? If a sober adult is alone, I would think that person would naturally be more cautious than an adult who assumes safety because someone is in the family room with windows open?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you mean like let your kid go to a public or community pool with lifeguards and other adults you know around, but you aren't there? If so, our pool has a rule of 10 which seems reasonable to me.

Or do you mean like let them swim in a backyard pool by themselves without an adult? For me, when they've gone through lifeguard training and have a buddy (so 15) or when they turn 18.

You wouldn’t let your kid in the pool without a buddy until they turn 18? Am I misunderstanding?

I would not let my kid swim alone in a pool (e.g. a backyard pool where no one else in in the vicinity, not a public pool) and I wouldn't swim alone myself. I think it's a situation where there is safety in numbers. When they turn 18 they can obviously make their own choice.

That’s…extra.

I agree with the PP. My kids, husband and I are all strong swimmers and none of us, regardless of age, swim in our backyard pool without someone else around. Same with skiing. My kids and I are strong skiers, but none of us ski alone (meaning on slopes where we don't have a buddy or where we aren't always in view of a good number of people). So for us it's not about their being kids, it's about general safety. When we chose our house, though, we specifically chose one where you can see the whole pool out the back family room window, so it's very easy for someone to go for a swim while someone else is in the family room with windows or doors open. Hasn't been difficult for us over many years with this set-up and the kids (teens) don't mind at all.

Interesting. It would never occur to me not to swim alone in a pool.

NP. Not swimming alone is a standard safety guideline around water for adults, not just children.

DP - it is. Red Cross safety standard is never to swim alone. https://www.redcross.org/get-help/how-to-prepare-for-emergencies/types-of-emergencies/water-safety/swim-safety.html

Ideally, no one should drive alone, either, but the Red Cross is never going to issue that as a recommendation. When I think of swimming alone in a backyard pool vs an exhausted parent driving alone with a million distractions, I feel the latter is a million more times dangerous.

[Anonymous]

There are 2 very different things being discussed here. They are not comparable at all. Many people are referring to the second thing.

1. Being truly alone (no other humans) at a private pool

2. Being allowed to attend an HOA/club pool without family supervision but that is lifeguarded and attended by other patrons.

[Anonymous]

Most pools have rules. Ours requires kids to be 14 before they don't need adult supervision. And that's ADULT supervision, not supervision by another kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are 2 very different things being discussed here. They are not comparable at all. Many people are referring to the second thing.

1. Being truly alone (no other humans) at a private pool

2. Being allowed to attend an HOA/club pool without family supervision but that is lifeguarded and attended by other patrons.

I am a bit surprised to find out people with backyard pools NEVER use them alone. Um what?! I know two single women who live in houses with backyard pools. I guarantee they use the pools with no one home because that's the vast majority of their time!

Yes there is a chance you have a heart attack and drown. But if you live alone, the heart attack may kill you while you're inside too. Accepting these types of risk is how we all get up and move about our day. We may die in the shower today, yet we all still take showers.