Jamie Chung used a surrogate because being pregnant might hurt her career

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a problem with a woman using a surrogate because she's unable to carry her own baby for health-related reasons. But I find it distasteful for a woman to use a surrogate for vanity or career reasons. It just reeks of selfishness and narcissism.

I guess this is par for the course with other people trying to control women's reproduction decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What career?

Right? Never heard of this person. But I am bored and procrastinating so I clicked through and see that she also spoke about postpartum depression. You can't have postpartum depression if you haven't given birth. What a weirdo. Why does she have a career as a celebrity at all?

Really? So gay couples and adoptive couples listening to crying babies at 3AM for 8 weeks straight can't have PPD?

You can have situational depression brought on by lack of sleep or feeling overwhelmed by your new life, but PPD is about the documented hormone crash that post-partum women experience. It's one of the biggest hormonal shifts that ever happens to a human being, like condensing all of puberty into three weeks. Gay adoptive couples don't have that. Neither do women who used surrogates.

But since nobody GAF about PPD until people started coopting it to mean "a thing that can happen to men," maybe it's best to just let them appropriate the term.

When I said adoptive couples - I meant straight ones. So your friend Kelly and her husband Mark adopt newborn twins. They are going through all the craziness of being new parents and Kelly displays symptoms of anxiety, lack of sleep, mood swings, isn't showering, has been talking about how dark she feels.

Are you saying she doesn't have PPD and you wouldn't refer her to a specialist who supports therapy/prevention techniques for that specific problem?

Yes I'm saying she doesn't have PPD. You seem to think your using this term is an act of generosity, or me not using it is denying that these people are truly parents or something (although I admit I cannot follow the distinction you're now making between gay and straight adoptive parents). I'm just telling you factually: PPD/PPA/PPP is not just situational depression, feeling anxiety, lack of sleep, or all of the above. It's not just feeling overwhelmed by parenthood. It's chemical in nature and brought on by a hormone crash, and that hormone crash is not present in the bodies of people who have not given birth.

Yea, this. If you haven't experienced PPD and depression, you can't really understand the difference. I've had depression on and off since I was 14, PPD is an entirely different beast. For sure, I had the normal baby blues from lack of sleep and feeling like my life revolved around caring for a baby. But I also had a very real hormonal crash that followed my menstrual cycle (it returned 6 weeks PP), and for 2-3 days I would cry uncontrollably and have uncontrollable thoughts about harming myself or my baby. My typical depression and baby blues I could always manage by getting outside, exercise, visiting a friend, sex - all things that made me feel better. With PPD there was nothing I could do, and it would get so out of control I seriously considered committing myself so I wouldn't harm anyone. It almost felt like psychosis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://people.com/parents/jamie-chung-decision-to-use-surrogate-terrified-of-putting-life-on-hold/

“I was terrified of putting my life on hold for two plus years...I don’t want to lose opportunities. I don’t want to become resentful.”

Thoughts?

This is one reason I think surrogacy is unethical and should be void as public policy. This is a classic case of exploitation of a woman with less economic opportunity by a woman with more.

It's actually completely disgusting and I can't believe she publicly admitted she rented another woman's body to fulfill her biological wants.

[Anonymous]

I see no issue with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What career?

Right? Never heard of this person. But I am bored and procrastinating so I clicked through and see that she also spoke about postpartum depression. You can't have postpartum depression if you haven't given birth. What a weirdo. Why does she have a career as a celebrity at all?

Really? So gay couples and adoptive couples listening to crying babies at 3AM for 8 weeks straight can't have PPD?

You can have situational depression brought on by lack of sleep or feeling overwhelmed by your new life, but PPD is about the documented hormone crash that post-partum women experience. It's one of the biggest hormonal shifts that ever happens to a human being, like condensing all of puberty into three weeks. Gay adoptive couples don't have that. Neither do women who used surrogates.

But since nobody GAF about PPD until people started coopting it to mean "a thing that can happen to men," maybe it's best to just let them appropriate the term.

When I said adoptive couples - I meant straight ones. So your friend Kelly and her husband Mark adopt newborn twins. They are going through all the craziness of being new parents and Kelly displays symptoms of anxiety, lack of sleep, mood swings, isn't showering, has been talking about how dark she feels.

Are you saying she doesn't have PPD and you wouldn't refer her to a specialist who supports therapy/prevention techniques for that specific problem?

Yes I'm saying she doesn't have PPD. You seem to think your using this term is an act of generosity, or me not using it is denying that these people are truly parents or something (although I admit I cannot follow the distinction you're now making between gay and straight adoptive parents). I'm just telling you factually: PPD/PPA/PPP is not just situational depression, feeling anxiety, lack of sleep, or all of the above. It's not just feeling overwhelmed by parenthood. It's chemical in nature and brought on by a hormone crash, and that hormone crash is not present in the bodies of people who have not given birth.

+1. Chung saying she had PPD really puts the whole thing over the top.

[Anonymous]

Yes, this is a thing. It's just an extension of having other people raise your kids. Why not birth them, too.

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of things I support individually.
But question societally.

I support her choice 250%. Like, a lot. I would do this if I could!!

So when I question it, I don’t “question” it. More… I wonder why I want to. Or why she would want to. Or what happens when more people want to. It feels like Handmaids Tale or some weird Hunger Games dystopia.

On the other hand, I’ve found myself in a past decade feeling financially unstable and looked into *being* a surrogate myself. I find nothing wrong with it, again, individually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually personally know a few surrogates. They are BEYOND thrilled with the 100k they're getting. They love being pregnant, have easy pregnancies. It's a lot of money to people in lower cost of living cities and they can stay home with their own kids. Not sure if this is always a rule, but for my friends you had to already have at least one baby of your own before you could become a surrogate.

Absolutely not "modern day slaves". And the babies are healthy because they've been tested before implantation even.

I'm glad they are happy, but they are being paid to bear children. It's unethical and exploitative on its face and should be highly regulated the way organ donation is.

I frankly don’t have an issue with organ donors being paid.

And maybe you think it’s crazy but some women like being pregnant. Surrogates are highly regulated. I’m not interested in the money but if one of our siblings asked I’d willingly be a surrogate for free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are thousands of unwanted babies right now. I would love to see test tube, IVF, and surrogacy outlawed in this country. Some people were not meant to be parents. Just because you can doesn’t at all mean you should. Flame me all you want, but this is how I feel.

Sorry but there just aren’t. There are a lot of foster kids but their parents aren’t willing to terminate right. They usually go back to their parents. And sadly a lot of kids up for adoption have FAS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What career?

Right? Never heard of this person. But I am bored and procrastinating so I clicked through and see that she also spoke about postpartum depression. You can't have postpartum depression if you haven't given birth. What a weirdo. Why does she have a career as a celebrity at all?

Really? So gay couples and adoptive couples listening to crying babies at 3AM for 8 weeks straight can't have PPD?

You can have situational depression brought on by lack of sleep or feeling overwhelmed by your new life, but PPD is about the documented hormone crash that post-partum women experience. It's one of the biggest hormonal shifts that ever happens to a human being, like condensing all of puberty into three weeks. Gay adoptive couples don't have that. Neither do women who used surrogates.

But since nobody GAF about PPD until people started coopting it to mean "a thing that can happen to men," maybe it's best to just let them appropriate the term.

When I said adoptive couples - I meant straight ones. So your friend Kelly and her husband Mark adopt newborn twins. They are going through all the craziness of being new parents and Kelly displays symptoms of anxiety, lack of sleep, mood swings, isn't showering, has been talking about how dark she feels.

Are you saying she doesn't have PPD and you wouldn't refer her to a specialist who supports therapy/prevention techniques for that specific problem?

This is it. We are moving to a point of no return when people are claiming they have diagnoses that are very specifically related to having been pregnant without ever having been pregnant. No, men cannot ever ever ever have PPD. They do not carry pregnancies, period. Depression related to a lack of sleep or change of heart is not PPD, it's depression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This says so much about our society, which does not look kindly upon pregnant women, mothers, or female bodies that are not slim and youthful. I can see how taking your self out of the rat race for a year or two would put you at a disadvantage career-wise. And it's not just Hollywood.

Yea, this.

I remember when ScarJo was pregnant during the filming of an Avengers movie. They used body double and CGI and it was fine. But even with that, there were calls from people (*cough* young men *cough*) that actresses in long-term series to sign contracts stating they will not get pregnant during the series, and if they do, their contracts with the audio are null & void and they need to return the money they made so a new actress can be cast.

Even if a woman doesn't appear visibly pregnant, the thought of a woman being pregnant when she is supposed to be a sex symbol is so distasteful to men that they want her to be punished. Crazy.

Its not just about no longer visibly being a sex symbol. I was watching Once Upon A Time. If you've seen it, one of the major characters and a lead in the show - Snow White - is played by Ginnifer Goodwin. Well Ginnifer was heavily pregnant while filming Season 3 and they wrote it into the show. But she was absolutely awful as a character for that entire season. Barely physically moved, all the action seasons were terrible, she was visibly tired, and it strangled the plot for both her and her husband in the show (who happened to be her real-life husband as well).

Do I think she should have been written out and forced off the show? Absolutely not. Do I wish they'd just cut her half her paycheck and let a different plotline commence? Absolutely.

[Anonymous]

She’s got privilege that’s it and it’s gross.

[Anonymous]

So back to Chung’s actual statement - ‘pregnancy puts your life on hold for two years’. Agree or disagree?

For a working woman whose career is dependent on her physical appearance and literal ability to be active and present on set - I totally agree. I’d say the same if she was a neurosurgeon trying to get ahead or a trial lawyer.

[Anonymous]

I don't see a problem. Not everyone wants to be a baby machine. Good for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't see a problem. Not everyone wants to be a baby machine. Good for her.

Same! OP you are horrible and sexist. MYOB. Watch your own brats. Sexist.