Jamie Chung used a surrogate because being pregnant might hurt her career

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are thousands of unwanted babies right now. I would love to see test tube, IVF, and surrogacy outlawed in this country. Some people were not meant to be parents. Just because you can doesn’t at all mean you should. Flame me all you want, but this is how I feel.

Here's the fun thing: nobody cares how you feel. Nobody's forcing you to be a surrogate or undergo IVF. You're the one trying to get the government to impose your bizarre beliefs on other people by force. You want to be able to decide who is meant to be a parent - that not your place. End of story.

No one really cares how you feel either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What career?

Right? Never heard of this person. But I am bored and procrastinating so I clicked through and see that she also spoke about postpartum depression. You can't have postpartum depression if you haven't given birth. What a weirdo. Why does she have a career as a celebrity at all?

Really? So gay couples and adoptive couples listening to crying babies at 3AM for 8 weeks straight can't have PPD?

Right. That’s just called “having a newborn”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is fairly common for actresses. I don't think it's a "new trend" or something that will ever become that popular because having kids via surrogacy is hard. It's easier to get pregnant and have the baby and not have to find a surrogate, go through conception (which might turn up fertility issues, you never know), deal with the legalities around surrogacy (you need a good lawyer and airtight paperwork), and then still parent a newborn (or in this case, two). Surrogacy is going to remain a relatively rare occurrence for very well-resourced people in specific, circumstances. It is not for the faint of heart.

I watched Lovecraft Country and don't remember this actress, though.

Her character would consume her lover during sexual intercourse if she fell in love with him. She was also a strong warrior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What career?

Right? Never heard of this person. But I am bored and procrastinating so I clicked through and see that she also spoke about postpartum depression. You can't have postpartum depression if you haven't given birth. What a weirdo. Why does she have a career as a celebrity at all?

Really? So gay couples and adoptive couples listening to crying babies at 3AM for 8 weeks straight can't have PPD?

You can have situational depression brought on by lack of sleep or feeling overwhelmed by your new life, but PPD is about the documented hormone crash that post-partum women experience. It's one of the biggest hormonal shifts that ever happens to a human being, like condensing all of puberty into three weeks. Gay adoptive couples don't have that. Neither do women who used surrogates.

But since nobody GAF about PPD until people started coopting it to mean "a thing that can happen to men," maybe it's best to just let them appropriate the term.

When I said adoptive couples - I meant straight ones. So your friend Kelly and her husband Mark adopt newborn twins. They are going through all the craziness of being new parents and Kelly displays symptoms of anxiety, lack of sleep, mood swings, isn't showering, has been talking about how dark she feels.

Are you saying she doesn't have PPD and you wouldn't refer her to a specialist who supports therapy/prevention techniques for that specific problem?

Yes I'm saying she doesn't have PPD. You seem to think your using this term is an act of generosity, or me not using it is denying that these people are truly parents or something (although I admit I cannot follow the distinction you're now making between gay and straight adoptive parents). I'm just telling you factually: PPD/PPA/PPP is not just situational depression, feeling anxiety, lack of sleep, or all of the above. It's not just feeling overwhelmed by parenthood. It's chemical in nature and brought on by a hormone crash, and that hormone crash is not present in the bodies of people who have not given birth.

THANK YOU. I posted up thread about having had both depression and PPD and I'm now annoyed at how this poster is conflating the two like PPD is just depression with a baby. No! Even having been through depression before, PPD was a totally different deal and I had to approach it differently. The dramatic ups and downs and super intense emotions of PPD are in some ways opposite what depression presents as. I'm sure there are some similarities because of the new parent stress and the sleeplessness, but PPD without the hormones is not PPD. It's weird to call it that.

Also, a complicating factor with PPD is that many new moms are also breastfeeding or trying to breastfeed, and that changes how you might approach medication. Breastfeeding itself can help regulate postpartum hormones, but it can also take time for that to happen (the first few weeks of breastfeeding don't always go super smoothly and that can make it worse), and then breastfeeding moms may have concerns about taking medications that can be passed through breastmilk. Again, these are issue unique to PPD because they are related to the physical postpartum experience. That's not some badge of pride -- I'm not excited to have had PPD and I don't think a woman is less of a mother, or that anyone is less of a parent, because they didn't experience postpartum hormones or breastfeeding hormones. But no, I would not advice an adoptive mother or a new dad with signs of depression in the same way I would advise a postpartum mom with signs of PPD.

[Anonymous]

The Brunos did it 6x. All but one admitted. I appreciate this girl's honesty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are thousands of unwanted babies right now. I would love to see test tube, IVF, and surrogacy outlawed in this country. Some people were not meant to be parents. Just because you can doesn’t at all mean you should. Flame me all you want, but this is how I feel.

Glad many many people feel differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually personally know a few surrogates. They are BEYOND thrilled with the 100k they're getting. They love being pregnant, have easy pregnancies. It's a lot of money to people in lower cost of living cities and they can stay home with their own kids. Not sure if this is always a rule, but for my friends you had to already have at least one baby of your own before you could become a surrogate.

Absolutely not "modern day slaves". And the babies are healthy because they've been tested before implantation even.

So gross and ahistorical. Surrogacy should be banned as it is in most civilized countries.

'


whatevs... you can sit and stew. surrogacy will never be banned in the US. and there are plenty of cancer survivors who are grateful that ignorant people like you don't make laws in this country.

[Anonymous]

I don't have an opinion either way on her choice to use a surrogate other than it's sad that women feel this way. She's not the only one.

[Anonymous]

I don't have a problem with a woman using a surrogate because she's unable to carry her own baby for health-related reasons. But I find it distasteful for a woman to use a surrogate for vanity or career reasons. It just reeks of selfishness and narcissism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What career?

Right? Never heard of this person. But I am bored and procrastinating so I clicked through and see that she also spoke about postpartum depression. You can't have postpartum depression if you haven't given birth. What a weirdo. Why does she have a career as a celebrity at all?

Really? So gay couples and adoptive couples listening to crying babies at 3AM for 8 weeks straight can't have PPD?

You can have situational depression brought on by lack of sleep or feeling overwhelmed by your new life, but PPD is about the documented hormone crash that post-partum women experience. It's one of the biggest hormonal shifts that ever happens to a human being, like condensing all of puberty into three weeks. Gay adoptive couples don't have that. Neither do women who used surrogates.

But since nobody GAF about PPD until people started coopting it to mean "a thing that can happen to men," maybe it's best to just let them appropriate the term.

When I said adoptive couples - I meant straight ones. So your friend Kelly and her husband Mark adopt newborn twins. They are going through all the craziness of being new parents and Kelly displays symptoms of anxiety, lack of sleep, mood swings, isn't showering, has been talking about how dark she feels.

Are you saying she doesn't have PPD and you wouldn't refer her to a specialist who supports therapy/prevention techniques for that specific problem?

Correct, she does not have PPD. People can still be depressed or have anxiety without having PPD.

I’m an adoptive parent who has been in this exact situation. Situational depression is NOT the same as PPD and people should not confuse the two. There is a biological hormonal reality to giving birth which not literally the same thing as a father or adoptive parent caring for an infant.

[Anonymous]

This says so much about our society, which does not look kindly upon pregnant women, mothers, or female bodies that are not slim and youthful. I can see how taking your self out of the rat race for a year or two would put you at a disadvantage career-wise. And it's not just Hollywood.

[Anonymous]

Chances are, her husband wanted kids badly and she was ambivalent. This was the compromise they reached. Good for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This says so much about our society, which does not look kindly upon pregnant women, mothers, or female bodies that are not slim and youthful. I can see how taking your self out of the rat race for a year or two would put you at a disadvantage career-wise. And it's not just Hollywood.

Yea, this.

I remember when ScarJo was pregnant during the filming of an Avengers movie. They used body double and CGI and it was fine. But even with that, there were calls from people (*cough* young men *cough*) that actresses in long-term series to sign contracts stating they will not get pregnant during the series, and if they do, their contracts with the audio are null & void and they need to return the money they made so a new actress can be cast.

Even if a woman doesn't appear visibly pregnant, the thought of a woman being pregnant when she is supposed to be a sex symbol is so distasteful to men that they want her to be punished. Crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This says so much about our society, which does not look kindly upon pregnant women, mothers, or female bodies that are not slim and youthful. I can see how taking your self out of the rat race for a year or two would put you at a disadvantage career-wise. And it's not just Hollywood.

Yea, this.

I remember when ScarJo was pregnant during the filming of an Avengers movie. They used body double and CGI and it was fine. But even with that, there were calls from people (*cough* young men *cough*) that actresses in long-term series to sign contracts stating they will not get pregnant during the series, and if they do, their contracts with the audio are null & void and they need to return the money they made so a new actress can be cast.

Even if a woman doesn't appear visibly pregnant, the thought of a woman being pregnant when she is supposed to be a sex symbol is so distasteful to men that they want her to be punished. Crazy.

*studio, not audio.

[Anonymous]

Women are still second class citizens. I'm not shocked by any of this sadly.