How I actually feel about your dog

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is a scarily detailed post, like you spend your life watching this neighbor, peering out an upstairs window with binoculars or following her in your car.

Should we tell Jeff there's a creepy, stalking person lurking in the pet forum?

You don't have to be creepy to hear a dog bark, you just have to be deaf.

[Anonymous]

I love my dog so much and regularly volunteer at an animal because I am a huge dog lover. Your irritation is beyond justified and I feel so bad for you and that dog. No good advice here, because the owner is oblivious and that dog is in the wrong home. I do think you should (as kindly as possible) explain to your neighbor how the noise and pee are affecting you. No one should have to put up with this.

[Anonymous]

Excellent post, OP. I feel sad for your incompetent neighbor and her poorly treated dog and bad for you. I agree with the PP that you should start by asking the neighbor if the dog is OK given that she barks all day. Maybe that will help her get a clue. The tips about watering the areas where the dog pees to disperse the urea are good too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:This is for my neighbor but I will never tell her because it would destroy our relationship and I don't want an enemy. But maybe other people with dogs will read it and learn something useful.

First off, your dog is unbelievably noisy. Does she bark too much? YES. We live in the city and our homes share a wall and she barks constantly. When you are not home, she barks literally the entire time. When you are home, she barks every time she is excited, sad, scared, hungry, or emotional, which is a lot more than you might realize. Before you moved in with your dog, we never noticed noise from next door, and those people had THREE CHILDREN UNDER AGE 10 AND A DOG. That's how noisy your dog is -- noisier than multiple small children and a whole other dog put together. So yes, your dog is too loud and barks too much.

Yes, it annoys me when your dog goes to the bathroom in front of our house. I appreciate that you pick up the poop at least, but sometimes you don't get it all. Also, when your dog pees on the little tree box in front of our house, it kills the grass. Surely you realize this. Do you not realize this? I don't have a dog so I don't really know where you are supposed to take dogs to pee but when your dog pees on plants, it's extremely acidic and kills them. So this bothers me.

Your dog is also NOT well trained. I know you are trying but I think maybe you are not trying hard enough or simply adopted the wrong kind of dog, because your dog is now 3 or 4 years old, is no longer a puppy, and still does all of the following: jumps on people when seeing them (and does not listen to your half-hearted admonishments to stop), licks and sniffs people on the street, barks at people and dogs often when we walk past the house or pass on the sidewalk, growls at children. None of this is okay for a city dog. It might be okay if you lived somewhere with more space where your dog could get her exercise in your yard and only interacted with people you invited into your home who, presumable, would know and be okay with dogs. It's not okay for a dog walking down city streets or who is often allowed to hang out in a tiny front yard where people walk within a few feet and there is just a small fence separating them. Your dog OFTEN jumps on and barks at strangers. Daily. Your dog needs way, way more socializing and training, and probably an owner who has the time and discipline to really get this dog used to living in a place with lots of people. You aren't doing a good job.

You know when you go to a nice restaurant and someone has brought their children who are not used to being in that environment, and the kids are yelling and throwing things on the floor and being disruptive, and the parents are kind of saying "no, sit down, I told you to sit down" and it's incredibly irritating? Your dog is like that, but all the time. You are the ineffectual, under-invested parent who brought your dog somewhere they have no idea how to behave and is just kind of doing the minimum and hoping for the best. It's not working out.

You frequently take your dog to the nearby park and let her run off leash in the non-dog-park areas even though there is a dog park *right there*. My guess is you do this because your dog is ill behaved at the dog park (because she remains very unsocialized with other dogs) so you go to the other parts of the park to let her run around. Where your dog barks at and jumps on people just trying to mind their own business. It is so rude and many, many of your neighbors hate you and your dog as a result. I don't hate either of you (I think you are in over your head and I feel bad for your dog), but I do think this is among one of the worst things you do.

Anyway, you should not have adopted this dog. You should probably rehome her, if you can -- she is actually sweet natured, just insanely energetic and in desperate need of either a better environment or a much more responsible owner. Or you should just go move somewhere where your untrained dog poses less of a nuisance and danger to others, somewhere less dense where your dog shares fewer public spaces.

I feel bad saying this because I like you personally and I remember you telling me that you adopted this dog early in the pandemic because you were lonely and I know you love the dog. But you are a bad pet owner and at this stage you can no longer excuse being new to it or your dog's youth.

Tree boxes are public space - don’t plant stuff there and police it like it’s yours with those stupid signs, creates a very negative vibe

+1 I was going to say this. You don't own the tree box. You think it's yours, but it's actually public property.

Talking to your neighbor about the barking is appropriate. Everything else, a therapist would ask you what else is going on in your life that you put this much emotional energy into it.

What is a tree box? I’m trying to picture what you’re talking about, but OP said the dog kills the grass when he pees in the tree box, so I guess there’s no mulch around the trees, just grass? How does one mow grass in a box? How do we know OP doesn’t own the tree box? I’m very confused.

The tree box is the grass on the other side of the sidewalk adjacent to your property. It's a "box" because it's usually bounded by the curb, the sidewalk and sometimes driveways on either side. This is not the homeowner's property as their property line does not extend past the sidewalk. 99.99% of people mow the grass there , if there is grass, and occasionally plant things there, but it's not their property.

Here is an example of a sign in a treebox that is ridiculous and unenforceable because it is not that person's property.
https://www.popville.com/2013/07/dogs-and-curbside-tree-boxgardens-vol-12/

Thank you for the explanation. I’m from an area in Ohio where this is called the “devil strip.” I hadn’t heard the term “tree box.”

[Anonymous]

Dogs ownership is just not natural.

I really dislike how many dogs there are today compare to just a few years ago. Why everyone needed to get a dog during the pandemic. Why some people feel they need 2 or 3? If we could use all that resource and money to help society like education or housing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dogs ownership is just not natural.

I really dislike how many dogs there are today compare to just a few years ago. Why everyone needed to get a dog during the pandemic. Why some people feel they need 2 or 3? If we could use all that resource and money to help society like education or housing.

What are all the things you are doing to "help society"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dogs ownership is just not natural.

I really dislike how many dogs there are today compare to just a few years ago. Why everyone needed to get a dog during the pandemic. Why some people feel they need 2 or 3? If we could use all that resource and money to help society like education or housing.

NP. Do you mean educating people on how to write sentences correctly?

Anyway, my money and resources will continue to go toward animals, not other people's children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Life is too short to complain about dogs.

Nah, life is too short to be unable to enjoy your own home because so many dog owners have no control whatsoever over their pets.

Dogs are better than people.

You mean reindeer, right?

[Anonymous]

OP, I could only get thru half of that and my main takeaway is how much you dislike and obsess about this woman. If you stopped at your first para where the dog barks all the time and it’s disruptive, then there’s a solution. Just say, Jane, awkward subject but, not sure if you realize how much sound carries through the wall. Can you look into some barking solutions? Then leave it at that. If she won’t intervene then you’ve got a beef. The rest of it is not your business. You don’t want to tell her because it would ruin your relationship? I mean come on you clearly hate this woman. But let’s assume there was an actual relationship. Then you just talk about the awkward thing. Like a grown up. Without antagonizing her or ad lining on why her dog barks. Polite but firm. And then everyone gets over it.