How I actually feel about your dog

[Anonymous]

I would tell her about the all-day barking. The dog is clearly anxious and she should do something about that. Both for the dog and the community.

The peeing in the tree box (if I'm understanding what a tree box is) is appropriate, so you need to get over that. (PP is correct that the dog urine is basically like a fertilizer burn -- if it really bothers you, water that spot and it distributes the fertilizer so the grass will be fabulous.)

The poor training is irritating but probably nothing you can do anything about. Just keep a distance and say something like "I'm staying back so Rover doesn't get my clean pants dirty." That's a subtle way of saying your dog need training, and is true and not passive aggressive.

I am a huge dog owner, but everyone has that irritating neighbor that got a dog without really understanding dogs and the dog is ill behaved and irritating. There's one in every neighborhood. Ours has two small white dogs that bark incessantly. The neighbors finally got her to stop just putting them in the backyard all day barking at everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Talk to your neighbor.

When my dog was still a puppy one day a neighbor came to the door and told me she's had enough of our dog barking at night. I didn't know my dog barked at night, so I was surprised. Later on I talked to my DS about this, and he said, yeah, I let pup out, coz she wanted to go out. He actually did it many times. He usually works in his study at night till 2 or 3am, and he became immune to noise when he was working. All the time I wasn't aware of it as I am an early sleeper.

I was shocked and I felt tremendously bad to hear this. I corrected my dog's behavior immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow you have a lot of time on your hands.

I stopped reading once I got to (what I could only consider to be assumptions on your part) why the dog was barking when the owner was home.

Wow, OP, this dog really bothers you a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is for my neighbor but I will never tell her because it would destroy our relationship and I don't want an enemy. But maybe other people with dogs will read it and learn something useful.

First off, your dog is unbelievably noisy. Does she bark too much? YES. We live in the city and our homes share a wall and she barks constantly. When you are not home, she barks literally the entire time. When you are home, she barks every time she is excited, sad, scared, hungry, or emotional, which is a lot more than you might realize. Before you moved in with your dog, we never noticed noise from next door, and those people had THREE CHILDREN UNDER AGE 10 AND A DOG. That's how noisy your dog is -- noisier than multiple small children and a whole other dog put together. So yes, your dog is too loud and barks too much.

Yes, it annoys me when your dog goes to the bathroom in front of our house. I appreciate that you pick up the poop at least, but sometimes you don't get it all. Also, when your dog pees on the little tree box in front of our house, it kills the grass. Surely you realize this. Do you not realize this? I don't have a dog so I don't really know where you are supposed to take dogs to pee but when your dog pees on plants, it's extremely acidic and kills them. So this bothers me.

Your dog is also NOT well trained. I know you are trying but I think maybe you are not trying hard enough or simply adopted the wrong kind of dog, because your dog is now 3 or 4 years old, is no longer a puppy, and still does all of the following: jumps on people when seeing them (and does not listen to your half-hearted admonishments to stop), licks and sniffs people on the street, barks at people and dogs often when we walk past the house or pass on the sidewalk, growls at children. None of this is okay for a city dog. It might be okay if you lived somewhere with more space where your dog could get her exercise in your yard and only interacted with people you invited into your home who, presumable, would know and be okay with dogs. It's not okay for a dog walking down city streets or who is often allowed to hang out in a tiny front yard where people walk within a few feet and there is just a small fence separating them. Your dog OFTEN jumps on and barks at strangers. Daily. Your dog needs way, way more socializing and training, and probably an owner who has the time and discipline to really get this dog used to living in a place with lots of people. You aren't doing a good job.

You know when you go to a nice restaurant and someone has brought their children who are not used to being in that environment, and the kids are yelling and throwing things on the floor and being disruptive, and the parents are kind of saying "no, sit down, I told you to sit down" and it's incredibly irritating? Your dog is like that, but all the time. You are the ineffectual, under-invested parent who brought your dog somewhere they have no idea how to behave and is just kind of doing the minimum and hoping for the best. It's not working out.

You frequently take your dog to the nearby park and let her run off leash in the non-dog-park areas even though there is a dog park *right there*. My guess is you do this because your dog is ill behaved at the dog park (because she remains very unsocialized with other dogs) so you go to the other parts of the park to let her run around. Where your dog barks at and jumps on people just trying to mind their own business. It is so rude and many, many of your neighbors hate you and your dog as a result. I don't hate either of you (I think you are in over your head and I feel bad for your dog), but I do think this is among one of the worst things you do.

Anyway, you should not have adopted this dog. You should probably rehome her, if you can -- she is actually sweet natured, just insanely energetic and in desperate need of either a better environment or a much more responsible owner. Or you should just go move somewhere where your untrained dog poses less of a nuisance and danger to others, somewhere less dense where your dog shares fewer public spaces.

I feel bad saying this because I like you personally and I remember you telling me that you adopted this dog early in the pandemic because you were lonely and I know you love the dog. But you are a bad pet owner and at this stage you can no longer excuse being new to it or your dog's youth.

Tree boxes are public space - don’t plant stuff there and police it like it’s yours with those stupid signs, creates a very negative vibe

+1 I was going to say this. You don't own the tree box. You think it's yours, but it's actually public property.

Talking to your neighbor about the barking is appropriate. Everything else, a therapist would ask you what else is going on in your life that you put this much emotional energy into it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is for my neighbor but I will never tell her because it would destroy our relationship and I don't want an enemy. But maybe other people with dogs will read it and learn something useful.

First off, your dog is unbelievably noisy. Does she bark too much? YES. We live in the city and our homes share a wall and she barks constantly. When you are not home, she barks literally the entire time. When you are home, she barks every time she is excited, sad, scared, hungry, or emotional, which is a lot more than you might realize. Before you moved in with your dog, we never noticed noise from next door, and those people had THREE CHILDREN UNDER AGE 10 AND A DOG. That's how noisy your dog is -- noisier than multiple small children and a whole other dog put together. So yes, your dog is too loud and barks too much.

Yes, it annoys me when your dog goes to the bathroom in front of our house. I appreciate that you pick up the poop at least, but sometimes you don't get it all. Also, when your dog pees on the little tree box in front of our house, it kills the grass. Surely you realize this. Do you not realize this? I don't have a dog so I don't really know where you are supposed to take dogs to pee but when your dog pees on plants, it's extremely acidic and kills them. So this bothers me.

Your dog is also NOT well trained. I know you are trying but I think maybe you are not trying hard enough or simply adopted the wrong kind of dog, because your dog is now 3 or 4 years old, is no longer a puppy, and still does all of the following: jumps on people when seeing them (and does not listen to your half-hearted admonishments to stop), licks and sniffs people on the street, barks at people and dogs often when we walk past the house or pass on the sidewalk, growls at children. None of this is okay for a city dog. It might be okay if you lived somewhere with more space where your dog could get her exercise in your yard and only interacted with people you invited into your home who, presumable, would know and be okay with dogs. It's not okay for a dog walking down city streets or who is often allowed to hang out in a tiny front yard where people walk within a few feet and there is just a small fence separating them. Your dog OFTEN jumps on and barks at strangers. Daily. Your dog needs way, way more socializing and training, and probably an owner who has the time and discipline to really get this dog used to living in a place with lots of people. You aren't doing a good job.

You know when you go to a nice restaurant and someone has brought their children who are not used to being in that environment, and the kids are yelling and throwing things on the floor and being disruptive, and the parents are kind of saying "no, sit down, I told you to sit down" and it's incredibly irritating? Your dog is like that, but all the time. You are the ineffectual, under-invested parent who brought your dog somewhere they have no idea how to behave and is just kind of doing the minimum and hoping for the best. It's not working out.

You frequently take your dog to the nearby park and let her run off leash in the non-dog-park areas even though there is a dog park *right there*. My guess is you do this because your dog is ill behaved at the dog park (because she remains very unsocialized with other dogs) so you go to the other parts of the park to let her run around. Where your dog barks at and jumps on people just trying to mind their own business. It is so rude and many, many of your neighbors hate you and your dog as a result. I don't hate either of you (I think you are in over your head and I feel bad for your dog), but I do think this is among one of the worst things you do.

Anyway, you should not have adopted this dog. You should probably rehome her, if you can -- she is actually sweet natured, just insanely energetic and in desperate need of either a better environment or a much more responsible owner. Or you should just go move somewhere where your untrained dog poses less of a nuisance and danger to others, somewhere less dense where your dog shares fewer public spaces.

I feel bad saying this because I like you personally and I remember you telling me that you adopted this dog early in the pandemic because you were lonely and I know you love the dog. But you are a bad pet owner and at this stage you can no longer excuse being new to it or your dog's youth.

It is very obvious you do not know dogs or dog parks. Your dog can be well trained and still not be good for dog parks. Do you like every person you meet? Why would you expect dogs to LOVE every dog they meet? Dog parks are terrible places for training and socialization because it usually is a free for all with a mixed of untrained and bullying dogs.

As for the other stuff things take time and you contradict yourself, "saying you are doing your best" but, it isn't enough. How do you know this? Are you a stalker? Since you know so much about this dog and owner I think you should keep yourself busy doing something else to occupy your time.

[Anonymous]

Solidarity OP. It sucks. We have a dog like this in our neighborhood, though way less barking. It is STILL not leash trained after 1.5 years, and they are certainly not trying at all. I can't imagine how it's fun to be yanked around on walks by an ill trained 85 lb dog, but that's what they do multiple times a day.

As this dog has gotten older he is calming down a little bit though. And it's a sweet dog. Just not trained AT ALL.

[Anonymous]

If you choose to live in shared wall settings, you can't complain about normal but annoying noise. Period. I live in a townhouse and have loud kids on one side (and within my house, lol) and neighbors constantly doing loud construction/repairs/yard work on another. Guess what? I could have chosen to live farther out in a SFH and did not make that choice. That's on me.

[Anonymous]

How I actually feel about how you actually feel about my dog:

[Anonymous]

I feel for you. It looks like The dog is not good fit for his environment. I had to sadly rehome a dog many, many years ago because he suffered from separation anxiety and this was pre-pandemic and I had to work all day. I heard from my neighbors that he would bark and whine all day long in my apartment. I worked with a breed rescue and I found a home for him that had a stay at home mom with an adult special-needs son. It turned out to be a win, win. The dog was very happy in that home from what I could tell. He had a lot of attention and they trained and certified him to be a therapy dog who visited nursing homes. I missed him terrible because he really was a good dog, but just not a right fit for my family at that time. If we had them during the pandemic where we were home all day, he would’ve been happy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is for my neighbor but I will never tell her because it would destroy our relationship and I don't want an enemy. But maybe other people with dogs will read it and learn something useful.

First off, your dog is unbelievably noisy. Does she bark too much? YES. We live in the city and our homes share a wall and she barks constantly. When you are not home, she barks literally the entire time. When you are home, she barks every time she is excited, sad, scared, hungry, or emotional, which is a lot more than you might realize. Before you moved in with your dog, we never noticed noise from next door, and those people had THREE CHILDREN UNDER AGE 10 AND A DOG. That's how noisy your dog is -- noisier than multiple small children and a whole other dog put together. So yes, your dog is too loud and barks too much.

Yes, it annoys me when your dog goes to the bathroom in front of our house. I appreciate that you pick up the poop at least, but sometimes you don't get it all. Also, when your dog pees on the little tree box in front of our house, it kills the grass. Surely you realize this. Do you not realize this? I don't have a dog so I don't really know where you are supposed to take dogs to pee but when your dog pees on plants, it's extremely acidic and kills them. So this bothers me.

Your dog is also NOT well trained. I know you are trying but I think maybe you are not trying hard enough or simply adopted the wrong kind of dog, because your dog is now 3 or 4 years old, is no longer a puppy, and still does all of the following: jumps on people when seeing them (and does not listen to your half-hearted admonishments to stop), licks and sniffs people on the street, barks at people and dogs often when we walk past the house or pass on the sidewalk, growls at children. None of this is okay for a city dog. It might be okay if you lived somewhere with more space where your dog could get her exercise in your yard and only interacted with people you invited into your home who, presumable, would know and be okay with dogs. It's not okay for a dog walking down city streets or who is often allowed to hang out in a tiny front yard where people walk within a few feet and there is just a small fence separating them. Your dog OFTEN jumps on and barks at strangers. Daily. Your dog needs way, way more socializing and training, and probably an owner who has the time and discipline to really get this dog used to living in a place with lots of people. You aren't doing a good job.

You know when you go to a nice restaurant and someone has brought their children who are not used to being in that environment, and the kids are yelling and throwing things on the floor and being disruptive, and the parents are kind of saying "no, sit down, I told you to sit down" and it's incredibly irritating? Your dog is like that, but all the time. You are the ineffectual, under-invested parent who brought your dog somewhere they have no idea how to behave and is just kind of doing the minimum and hoping for the best. It's not working out.

You frequently take your dog to the nearby park and let her run off leash in the non-dog-park areas even though there is a dog park *right there*. My guess is you do this because your dog is ill behaved at the dog park (because she remains very unsocialized with other dogs) so you go to the other parts of the park to let her run around. Where your dog barks at and jumps on people just trying to mind their own business. It is so rude and many, many of your neighbors hate you and your dog as a result. I don't hate either of you (I think you are in over your head and I feel bad for your dog), but I do think this is among one of the worst things you do.

Anyway, you should not have adopted this dog. You should probably rehome her, if you can -- she is actually sweet natured, just insanely energetic and in desperate need of either a better environment or a much more responsible owner. Or you should just go move somewhere where your untrained dog poses less of a nuisance and danger to others, somewhere less dense where your dog shares fewer public spaces.

I feel bad saying this because I like you personally and I remember you telling me that you adopted this dog early in the pandemic because you were lonely and I know you love the dog. But you are a bad pet owner and at this stage you can no longer excuse being new to it or your dog's youth.

Tree boxes are public space - don’t plant stuff there and police it like it’s yours with those stupid signs, creates a very negative vibe

+1 I was going to say this. You don't own the tree box. You think it's yours, but it's actually public property.

Talking to your neighbor about the barking is appropriate. Everything else, a therapist would ask you what else is going on in your life that you put this much emotional energy into it.

What is a tree box? I’m trying to picture what you’re talking about, but OP said the dog kills the grass when he pees in the tree box, so I guess there’s no mulch around the trees, just grass? How does one mow grass in a box? How do we know OP doesn’t own the tree box? I’m very confused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is for my neighbor but I will never tell her because it would destroy our relationship and I don't want an enemy. But maybe other people with dogs will read it and learn something useful.

First off, your dog is unbelievably noisy. Does she bark too much? YES. We live in the city and our homes share a wall and she barks constantly. When you are not home, she barks literally the entire time. When you are home, she barks every time she is excited, sad, scared, hungry, or emotional, which is a lot more than you might realize. Before you moved in with your dog, we never noticed noise from next door, and those people had THREE CHILDREN UNDER AGE 10 AND A DOG. That's how noisy your dog is -- noisier than multiple small children and a whole other dog put together. So yes, your dog is too loud and barks too much.

Yes, it annoys me when your dog goes to the bathroom in front of our house. I appreciate that you pick up the poop at least, but sometimes you don't get it all. Also, when your dog pees on the little tree box in front of our house, it kills the grass. Surely you realize this. Do you not realize this? I don't have a dog so I don't really know where you are supposed to take dogs to pee but when your dog pees on plants, it's extremely acidic and kills them. So this bothers me.

Your dog is also NOT well trained. I know you are trying but I think maybe you are not trying hard enough or simply adopted the wrong kind of dog, because your dog is now 3 or 4 years old, is no longer a puppy, and still does all of the following: jumps on people when seeing them (and does not listen to your half-hearted admonishments to stop), licks and sniffs people on the street, barks at people and dogs often when we walk past the house or pass on the sidewalk, growls at children. None of this is okay for a city dog. It might be okay if you lived somewhere with more space where your dog could get her exercise in your yard and only interacted with people you invited into your home who, presumable, would know and be okay with dogs. It's not okay for a dog walking down city streets or who is often allowed to hang out in a tiny front yard where people walk within a few feet and there is just a small fence separating them. Your dog OFTEN jumps on and barks at strangers. Daily. Your dog needs way, way more socializing and training, and probably an owner who has the time and discipline to really get this dog used to living in a place with lots of people. You aren't doing a good job.

You know when you go to a nice restaurant and someone has brought their children who are not used to being in that environment, and the kids are yelling and throwing things on the floor and being disruptive, and the parents are kind of saying "no, sit down, I told you to sit down" and it's incredibly irritating? Your dog is like that, but all the time. You are the ineffectual, under-invested parent who brought your dog somewhere they have no idea how to behave and is just kind of doing the minimum and hoping for the best. It's not working out.

You frequently take your dog to the nearby park and let her run off leash in the non-dog-park areas even though there is a dog park *right there*. My guess is you do this because your dog is ill behaved at the dog park (because she remains very unsocialized with other dogs) so you go to the other parts of the park to let her run around. Where your dog barks at and jumps on people just trying to mind their own business. It is so rude and many, many of your neighbors hate you and your dog as a result. I don't hate either of you (I think you are in over your head and I feel bad for your dog), but I do think this is among one of the worst things you do.

Anyway, you should not have adopted this dog. You should probably rehome her, if you can -- she is actually sweet natured, just insanely energetic and in desperate need of either a better environment or a much more responsible owner. Or you should just go move somewhere where your untrained dog poses less of a nuisance and danger to others, somewhere less dense where your dog shares fewer public spaces.

I feel bad saying this because I like you personally and I remember you telling me that you adopted this dog early in the pandemic because you were lonely and I know you love the dog. But you are a bad pet owner and at this stage you can no longer excuse being new to it or your dog's youth.

Tree boxes are public space - don’t plant stuff there and police it like it’s yours with those stupid signs, creates a very negative vibe

Really, planting something green there is more negative than the smear of dog shit from where you inexpertly picked it up and the dribbles of dog piss running onto the sidewalk? Okay.

Are there poop-scooping experts out there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tell her about the all-day barking. The dog is clearly anxious and she should do something about that. Both for the dog and the community.

The peeing in the tree box (if I'm understanding what a tree box is) is appropriate, so you need to get over that. (PP is correct that the dog urine is basically like a fertilizer burn -- if it really bothers you, water that spot and it distributes the fertilizer so the grass will be fabulous.)

The poor training is irritating but probably nothing you can do anything about. Just keep a distance and say something like "I'm staying back so Rover doesn't get my clean pants dirty." That's a subtle way of saying your dog need training, and is true and not passive aggressive.

I am a huge dog owner, but everyone has that irritating neighbor that got a dog without really understanding dogs and the dog is ill behaved and irritating. There's one in every neighborhood. Ours has two small white dogs that bark incessantly. The neighbors finally got her to stop just putting them in the backyard all day barking at everyone else.

What does your size have to do with it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is for my neighbor but I will never tell her because it would destroy our relationship and I don't want an enemy. But maybe other people with dogs will read it and learn something useful.

First off, your dog is unbelievably noisy. Does she bark too much? YES. We live in the city and our homes share a wall and she barks constantly. When you are not home, she barks literally the entire time. When you are home, she barks every time she is excited, sad, scared, hungry, or emotional, which is a lot more than you might realize. Before you moved in with your dog, we never noticed noise from next door, and those people had THREE CHILDREN UNDER AGE 10 AND A DOG. That's how noisy your dog is -- noisier than multiple small children and a whole other dog put together. So yes, your dog is too loud and barks too much.

Yes, it annoys me when your dog goes to the bathroom in front of our house. I appreciate that you pick up the poop at least, but sometimes you don't get it all. Also, when your dog pees on the little tree box in front of our house, it kills the grass. Surely you realize this. Do you not realize this? I don't have a dog so I don't really know where you are supposed to take dogs to pee but when your dog pees on plants, it's extremely acidic and kills them. So this bothers me.

Your dog is also NOT well trained. I know you are trying but I think maybe you are not trying hard enough or simply adopted the wrong kind of dog, because your dog is now 3 or 4 years old, is no longer a puppy, and still does all of the following: jumps on people when seeing them (and does not listen to your half-hearted admonishments to stop), licks and sniffs people on the street, barks at people and dogs often when we walk past the house or pass on the sidewalk, growls at children. None of this is okay for a city dog. It might be okay if you lived somewhere with more space where your dog could get her exercise in your yard and only interacted with people you invited into your home who, presumable, would know and be okay with dogs. It's not okay for a dog walking down city streets or who is often allowed to hang out in a tiny front yard where people walk within a few feet and there is just a small fence separating them. Your dog OFTEN jumps on and barks at strangers. Daily. Your dog needs way, way more socializing and training, and probably an owner who has the time and discipline to really get this dog used to living in a place with lots of people. You aren't doing a good job.

You know when you go to a nice restaurant and someone has brought their children who are not used to being in that environment, and the kids are yelling and throwing things on the floor and being disruptive, and the parents are kind of saying "no, sit down, I told you to sit down" and it's incredibly irritating? Your dog is like that, but all the time. You are the ineffectual, under-invested parent who brought your dog somewhere they have no idea how to behave and is just kind of doing the minimum and hoping for the best. It's not working out.

You frequently take your dog to the nearby park and let her run off leash in the non-dog-park areas even though there is a dog park *right there*. My guess is you do this because your dog is ill behaved at the dog park (because she remains very unsocialized with other dogs) so you go to the other parts of the park to let her run around. Where your dog barks at and jumps on people just trying to mind their own business. It is so rude and many, many of your neighbors hate you and your dog as a result. I don't hate either of you (I think you are in over your head and I feel bad for your dog), but I do think this is among one of the worst things you do.

Anyway, you should not have adopted this dog. You should probably rehome her, if you can -- she is actually sweet natured, just insanely energetic and in desperate need of either a better environment or a much more responsible owner. Or you should just go move somewhere where your untrained dog poses less of a nuisance and danger to others, somewhere less dense where your dog shares fewer public spaces.

I feel bad saying this because I like you personally and I remember you telling me that you adopted this dog early in the pandemic because you were lonely and I know you love the dog. But you are a bad pet owner and at this stage you can no longer excuse being new to it or your dog's youth.

Tree boxes are public space - don’t plant stuff there and police it like it’s yours with those stupid signs, creates a very negative vibe

+1 I was going to say this. You don't own the tree box. You think it's yours, but it's actually public property.

Talking to your neighbor about the barking is appropriate. Everything else, a therapist would ask you what else is going on in your life that you put this much emotional energy into it.

What is a tree box? I’m trying to picture what you’re talking about, but OP said the dog kills the grass when he pees in the tree box, so I guess there’s no mulch around the trees, just grass? How does one mow grass in a box? How do we know OP doesn’t own the tree box? I’m very confused.

The tree box is the grass on the other side of the sidewalk adjacent to your property. It's a "box" because it's usually bounded by the curb, the sidewalk and sometimes driveways on either side. This is not the homeowner's property as their property line does not extend past the sidewalk. 99.99% of people mow the grass there , if there is grass, and occasionally plant things there, but it's not their property.

Here is an example of a sign in a treebox that is ridiculous and unenforceable because it is not that person's property.
https://www.popville.com/2013/07/dogs-and-curbside-tree-boxgardens-vol-12/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This letter could be written to 97% of dog owners these days.

+1. Pretty much

[Anonymous]

Rename your wifi to remind the person and shame them publicly.