Tyrannical gardening-obsessed shaming neighbors

[Anonymous]

Just let the comments, emails, whatever go around you like water. Once you’ve responded politely once I would just stop.

[Anonymous]

If my neighbors want chemical, monoculture grass lawns that’s their prerogative. But I’m certainly not going to dig up the dandelions or mow obsessively just because the neighbor feels the seeds spread. Mostly because I don’t care but also because that’s stupid - seeds and weeds will pop up anywhere anyway. If you have monoculture grass it’s because you’re spraying it.

[Anonymous]

Just wondering, OP, do you know what these "junk trees" are? Some trees are invasive and weedy and, yes, junky. Our neighbor's yard has black walnuts and japanese honeysuckle and English ivy. They don't seem to do any deliberate gardening. I wouldn't call to complain, but I do think it's kind of unneighborly on their part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Certain types of trees constantly drop branches into the yard. They become a bit of a nuisance. I think people would call them “junk trees.”

Which ones, exactly? I know of none, except sick trees.

NP- my neighbor let a Tree of Heaven grow in her yard. 100% a junk tree and it's banned by the county. Doesn't drop branches but it does have roots that go into foundations and rip up streets.

Then be specific. There are highly invasive or destructive species that should never be planted in certain locales. Be clear about it, and don't use meaningless words like "junk".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a neighbor across street. Younger couple maybe 42-45. Two kids maybe 8-10 moved in four years ago.

Front laws don’t have fences. Somehow they bought the house from an 85 year old widower who owned house almost fifty years and in three years turned front lawn into a massive dandelion patch with seeds flying everywhere.

The guy had a typical WFH job. Wife does not work kids in school all day. Dude spray them, dig them out or at lease keep lawn shorter so they don’t shoot up.

No one cares except the two neighbors left and right get weeds everywhere.

One of man child dads off bike riding or something while his weeds are everywhere

You sound insane. We don't have a fence, we have native plants we like, such as dandelions, and we are certainly never going to use herbicide. We also know how to garden and grow plants.

What on earth is wrong with you? Drag yourself into the modern era of gardening. None of the things you complain about are wrong in the slightest.

[Anonymous]

People.

Nowadays, there are 3 categories of plants:
Invasive or destructive
Native
Non-native

Only the first category is "bad". The others are perfectly fine to have in one's garden.

There is no such thing has weeds!!! Those are native plants. They are very important for sustainable and eco-friendly gardening, because they do not need to be watered and fed, which pose a burden to our climate. They also support the local ecosystem. If you don't like them, TOUGH.

[Anonymous]

I would be annoyed by a tree that attracted pests, or that caused damage to my property. Otherwise, it's fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I had a neighbor just like this. There wasn't one thing she wouldn't complain about. Don't take it personally - I really think this is age related. She is in her late 70's and I've watched her slow decline over the last 6 years that we've lived next door to her. I actually feel bad for her because I don't think she means any harm, she likely just feels invisible and marginalized. And these last two years has done nothing to help the situation as she seems quite lonely. We have gone the route of not responding to her emails. And when we see her we're neighborly and wave hello. But that's it.

Let it go OP. She is likely suffering in ways you are not aware of.

+1. Please tell your husband he’s a jerk for laughing in her face.

+1. We had some conflicts with an elderly neighbor over non-existent issues, and then we learned from another neighbor that she has had serious mental health issues over the years. So, we just engage in superficial pleasantries and ignore otherwise.

Mulberry trees are a mess, and most yard services don't do very good work, but it's your yard, OP. Just smile and don't engage. (FWIW, my DH is a yard care fanatic, and our neighbor takes minimal care of their yard, but it would never occur to either of us to tell them what to do).

[Anonymous]

My retired neighbor, several years ago, did this a lot. Did she not notice I had 3 kids under 7? I was working on that garden. If I did pull weeds, it was once a month while keeping my kids away from the road. So, it got gradually better and better focused. And then there would be phases where one kid would need help, and no weeding.

If husband or I were out there alone it was was only enough time to cut grass, trim some bushes, tidy up edges.

[Anonymous]

I would not continue to entertain her and vertices. Be pleasant but direct! “I think we have different landscaping/yard aesthetics. We’re pleased with our yard and not looking to make a change at all and that’s unlikely to change. I notice your hydrangeas are looking nice! See you soon.”

[Anonymous]

OP, Your neighbor sounds like they feel entitled to talk to you about this and contact you as frequently as they do.

Maybe they are sad and lonely or have a mental illness and you might have compassion for them if you knew more, maybe it’s none of those things.

Either way, you have the right to set boundaries with this person.

In my opinion, it would be totally appropriate for you to simply say “please stop contacting me about this.”
You could even go so far as to say “it’s making me uncomfortable that you’re contacting me about this so frequently, please stop”.

I understand why you feel harassed by her and at some point you need to set up some really clear boundaries. You don’t have to be unkind you just have to be really firm and clear.

[Anonymous]

I would replace the back fence with a higher fence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I lived next to someone like OP’s neighbor, I would deliberately cultivate dandelions in my yard AND plant bamboo along the fenceline.

My SIL's neighbor did this to be annoying, but they didn't fully realize what they were doing to themselves. They destroyed their own expensive fencing, messed up their new pool, and my SIL moved shortly after, so they didn't even get the satisfaction of bothering her. Now they are stuck with damaging bamboo forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

People.

Nowadays, there are 3 categories of plants:
Invasive or destructive
Native
Non-native

Only the first category is "bad". The others are perfectly fine to have in one's garden.

There is no such thing has weeds!!! Those are native plants. They are very important for sustainable and eco-friendly gardening, because they do not need to be watered and fed, which pose a burden to our climate. They also support the local ecosystem. If you don't like them, TOUGH.

Not all weeds are native plants. Many weeds are in your category 1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a neighbor across street. Younger couple maybe 42-45. Two kids maybe 8-10 moved in four years ago.

Front laws don’t have fences. Somehow they bought the house from an 85 year old widower who owned house almost fifty years and in three years turned front lawn into a massive dandelion patch with seeds flying everywhere.

The guy had a typical WFH job. Wife does not work kids in school all day. Dude spray them, dig them out or at lease keep lawn shorter so they don’t shoot up.

No one cares except the two neighbors left and right get weeds everywhere.

One of man child dads off bike riding or something while his weeds are everywhere

Dandelion and clover yards are better for the environment.

My backyard is mostly dandelion and clover and I love it. I love how natural and spring-like it is. We also have azaleas around the borders that I rarely trim because I like them looking wild and free. Same with my large, gorgeous Camelia bush that makes far more flowers than any of my neighbors over trimmed, mulched Camelia bushes. Sorry you don’t like my yard but it’s not full of weeds (other than clover and dandelion and violets, which I like) and it’s not violating any HOA, so, F off.

Clover is such a pretty ground cover. Have never understood the desire to get rid of it and replace with grass.