Honestly, there’s no downsides to having money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d rather be rich than not, but I disagree with your premise because money alone cannot make your life fulfilling. And while people speak out comfort and security wherever they go, without fulfillment it is not a life well lived.

Mostly I feel wealth is often wasted on people with little to no character, who squander the gift of financial security because they do not understand how to live lives rich with meaning. Even much of the charitable work rich people do is done out of insecurity and this not as fulfilling or meaningful for them as it could be. If you spend a lot of time around wealthy people, you discover many of them are quite troubled, using their wealth to numb or hide deep damage instead of processing it so they can transcend it.

In this way, I have met people who are not wealthy who truly are happier and more fulfilled than many of the rich people I’ve met. Could these people be even happier if they did not have to worry about mortgages or rent, stress about providing for their kids, or could live out their dearest fantasies of travel or charitable work? Sure. But they are still happier than many rich people, indicating that it is strong character, a purpose, the ability to self motivate and problem solve, that is the true key to happiness. Not wealth.

Wealth is very nice though. Just not meaningful after your basic needs are met (including the basic need for comfort and leisure).

You speak as if these were unalterable, universal truths, rather than just your opinion about how people should live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree.
Creativity gets smothered.
Common sense somehow flies out of the window.
Superiority is a very ugly trait.
Greed galore.
You eat better but don't want to cook.
Your house is beautiful yet you spend time looking for bigger and better.
Gotta have this gotta have that.
You buy your way into popularity
You lose all your poor friends yet can't figure out why
FLAUNT
You become very judgmental of everyone but don't know or care about their circumstances
you set a poor example for your kids when you teach them by showing that being rich is all that matters
then you become the DCUM Sisterhood and throw out claws on every thread YOU don't think passes YOUR approval.
Shallow Hal meet Shallow Mom

Irony truly is dead.

[Anonymous]

I would not go so far as to say there are NO downsides, but they are minor. I grew up wealthy - including inheriting 5+M at 21 - and agree with some PPs that downsides include inability to do the basics for myself (deep cleaning, yard work, ANY cooking or laundry, car maintenance), a general lack of drive at work when I know I'll have 250k+ in dividend income a year, and a constant insecurity about how much of my life (career, friends, even spouse) are the result of unearned money. Another major downside to being wealthy I saw when I was young is easy access to drugs - and I tend to think that even as adults my peers exhibit more drug and alcohol dependence than the MC/UMC, but I don't know that for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not go so far as to say there are NO downsides, but they are minor. I grew up wealthy - including inheriting 5+M at 21 - and agree with some PPs that downsides include inability to do the basics for myself (deep cleaning, yard work, ANY cooking or laundry, car maintenance), a general lack of drive at work when I know I'll have 250k+ in dividend income a year, and a constant insecurity about how much of my life (career, friends, even spouse) are the result of unearned money. Another major downside to being wealthy I saw when I was young is easy access to drugs - and I tend to think that even as adults my peers exhibit more drug and alcohol dependence than the MC/UMC, but I don't know that for sure.

To follow up - after re-reading, I realize that my entire list is downsides of inherited wealth, not having money generally. So maybe I am off topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not go so far as to say there are NO downsides, but they are minor. I grew up wealthy - including inheriting 5+M at 21 - and agree with some PPs that downsides include inability to do the basics for myself (deep cleaning, yard work, ANY cooking or laundry, car maintenance), a general lack of drive at work when I know I'll have 250k+ in dividend income a year, and a constant insecurity about how much of my life (career, friends, even spouse) are the result of unearned money. Another major downside to being wealthy I saw when I was young is easy access to drugs - and I tend to think that even as adults my peers exhibit more drug and alcohol dependence than the MC/UMC, but I don't know that for sure.

To follow up - after re-reading, I realize that my entire list is downsides of inherited wealth, not having money generally. So maybe I am off topic.

Also inherited wealth at a young age. There is a reason many people allow very limited access to their heirs before age 35 to funds they leave behind .

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Being rich is like being young. No real downside. Any perceived downsides are imaginary.

Keep saying that. I’m guessing you’ve never been harassed for money by family or friends.

That must be awful. Here I thought wondering if you will be able to make a mortgage payment after a layoff was bad, but having someone ask for money sounds so much worse.

It is. Except they’re not “asking,” hence the “harassed” part.

Myra, I’d totally trade losing a roof over my head instead of being asked for money.

Go ask the NBA and NFL players with 15 cousins on their Verizon plan.

The point remains that having money, like youth, has more upside than downside. I bet none of these players are thinking "hmm.. how I wish I didn't get drafted and was poor.. I wouldn't have to pay $30/month for my 15 cousins. God, please turn the clock back and take all this away!".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Being rich is like being young. No real downside. Any perceived downsides are imaginary.

Keep saying that. I’m guessing you’ve never been harassed for money by family or friends.

That must be awful. Here I thought wondering if you will be able to make a mortgage payment after a layoff was bad, but having someone ask for money sounds so much worse.

It is. Except they’re not “asking,” hence the “harassed” part.

Myra, I’d totally trade losing a roof over my head instead of being asked for money.

Go ask the NBA and NFL players with 15 cousins on their Verizon plan.

The point remains that having money, like youth, has more upside than downside. I bet none of these players are thinking "hmm.. how I wish I didn't get drafted and was poor.. I wouldn't have to pay $30/month for my 15 cousins. God, please turn the clock back and take all this away!".

...but that wasn't "the point" of the original post, which was to say that there are no downsides.

[Anonymous]

The key to happiness = having fulfilling relationships… whether it’s friends, spouse, family members, children, coworkers, neighbors…

Money buys time (by outsourcing housework, repairs, errands, some childcare) and allows for many enjoyable experiences (vacations, parties, tickets to shows, club memberships) which strengthens relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not go so far as to say there are NO downsides, but they are minor. I grew up wealthy - including inheriting 5+M at 21 - and agree with some PPs that downsides include inability to do the basics for myself (deep cleaning, yard work, ANY cooking or laundry, car maintenance), a general lack of drive at work when I know I'll have 250k+ in dividend income a year, and a constant insecurity about how much of my life (career, friends, even spouse) are the result of unearned money. Another major downside to being wealthy I saw when I was young is easy access to drugs - and I tend to think that even as adults my peers exhibit more drug and alcohol dependence than the MC/UMC, but I don't know that for sure.

To follow up - after re-reading, I realize that my entire list is downsides of inherited wealth, not having money generally. So maybe I am off topic.

Also inherited wealth at a young age. There is a reason many people allow very limited access to their heirs before age 35 to funds they leave behind .

100%! Having millions at age 21 is a recipe for disaster.

Drug and alcohol abuse is an ongoing problem for wealthy families. There was an article recently that attributed much of UMC/wealthy teen depression/suicide to having parents who are emotionally unavailable due to substance abuse. I see this in my circles in Potomac… it’s scary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of the downsides to having money is that everyone all around is constantly begging for money. When you have a lot, you spend a huge amount of time blocking and fending off requests for money. Most people with a lot of money donate to charities at some level and once you do, you get on lists and many charities sell their lists and you get harrassed and hounded by every means possible for donations, support, etc. In addition, family and friends always think you are a source for "loans" which in reality are gifts. Sometimes it's hard to know who are friends for your money and who are not. How much do you spend on family? When is enough, enough?

Trying to balance your own life vs being the life preserver for everyone within 3 degrees of separation is time consuming and sometimes hard to navigate.

This is true. Along with, for me, a sense of needing to take care of the people around me who are struggling, elders, adult children, the house cleaner, the yard guy. That can feel like a huge responsibility at times. But nothing compared to the stress of not having enough to take care of basic needs, I know.

[Anonymous]

I would be happy to be rich but don’t want to hang out with other rich people. My impression is that a lot of them think they are smarter and superior to other people because of their wealth. And are obsessed with status and possessions. No thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of the downsides to having money is that everyone all around is constantly begging for money. When you have a lot, you spend a huge amount of time blocking and fending off requests for money. Most people with a lot of money donate to charities at some level and once you do, you get on lists and many charities sell their lists and you get harrassed and hounded by every means possible for donations, support, etc. In addition, family and friends always think you are a source for "loans" which in reality are gifts. Sometimes it's hard to know who are friends for your money and who are not. How much do you spend on family? When is enough, enough?

Trying to balance your own life vs being the life preserver for everyone within 3 degrees of separation is time consuming and sometimes hard to navigate.

True, I’m not even wealthy and am just beginning to earn an UMC income with a social/family circle with mixed SES. I’m already having poorer family members hit me up for financial help. I might have to support one of my divorced parents who is LMC and might never have enough to retire.