I seem to have offended another parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It seems many of you have not read my updates and keep responding with the same things like, "she just doesn't have time, she doesn't waste time texting, etc." That is not the case. She posts
ridiculous memes and emojis and Facebook links which, again, is awkward because she is the only person who posts links from Facebook with no description and people have to ask what the link is for, in case it is something we're supposed to be aware of, like something for the class.

She is just not friendly.

It's not about the conversation on the art or "bad mom" joke anymore.

She is not a friendly person, and I see that now and do not take this personally. It took realizing from her texts and seeing her in a new light in person, that she is just not friendly, and I have no need to act friendly or imagine she wants to have any sort of friendship, like the other parents obviously do, as is apparent in both their virtual and in-person interactions.

I totally get why you feel awkward about it but my advice is the next time you see her just be friendly and greet her, make some standard small talk and that's it. Don't ever mention the text again.

and consider that some people suck at texting and are awkward at it - like myself - and she just didn't know what to respond.

Yep. I'm over it and don't feel awkward at all anymore after realizing it's nothing personal. Just the way she is. No need for me think about how she views me. No need to feel awkward or embarrassed. She is not my friend so I don't need to care. I'll just say hi if we pass each other but no need to think there's an opportunity for friendship there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I tend to write very professionally for work, so my texts are always fully spelled out (no "c u soon" or "u r funny" or heaven forbid "lol") with proper punctuation. I also rarely use exclamation points.

Some people use lots of emojis, exclamations points, abbreviations, and the like. So you may thing I was being cold but I'm just being normal.

Try reading her text with exclamation points and then acknowledge that she doesn't use them.

"I'm not that mom! Have a nice day!" Same words, different tone. I doubt she meant it the way you think.

Nope. Not it. She was offended. She is not friendly. But I am over it now as I realize it's nothing personal and I did not do anything wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It seems many of you have not read my updates and keep responding with the same things like, "she just doesn't have time, she doesn't waste time texting, etc." That is not the case. She posts
ridiculous memes and emojis and Facebook links which, again, is awkward because she is the only person who posts links from Facebook with no description and people have to ask what the link is for, in case it is something we're supposed to be aware of, like something for the class.

She is just not friendly.

It's not about the conversation on the art or "bad mom" joke anymore.

She is not a friendly person, and I see that now and do not take this personally. It took realizing from her texts and seeing her in a new light in person, that she is just not friendly, and I have no need to act friendly or imagine she wants to have any sort of friendship, like the other parents obviously do, as is apparent in both their virtual and in-person interactions.

Holy overreaction. But okay.

She's explaining how she's putting it behind her now. How is that an overreaction.
Some people need a reality check that not everyone wants to be their friend. That's freeing. Not overreacting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It seems many of you have not read my updates and keep responding with the same things like, "she just doesn't have time, she doesn't waste time texting, etc." That is not the case. She posts
ridiculous memes and emojis and Facebook links which, again, is awkward because she is the only person who posts links from Facebook with no description and people have to ask what the link is for, in case it is something we're supposed to be aware of, like something for the class.

She is just not friendly.

It's not about the conversation on the art or "bad mom" joke anymore.

She is not a friendly person, and I see that now and do not take this personally. It took realizing from her texts and seeing her in a new light in person, that she is just not friendly, and I have no need to act friendly or imagine she wants to have any sort of friendship, like the other parents obviously do, as is apparent in both their virtual and in-person interactions.

I totally get why you feel awkward about it but my advice is the next time you see her just be friendly and greet her, make some standard small talk and that's it. Don't ever mention the text again.

and consider that some people suck at texting and are awkward at it - like myself - and she just didn't know what to respond.

Yep. I'm over it and don't feel awkward at all anymore after realizing it's nothing personal. Just the way she is. No need for me think about how she views me. No need to feel awkward or embarrassed. She is not my friend so I don't need to care. I'll just say hi if we pass each other but no need to think there's an opportunity for friendship there.

Wow. Just wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tend to write very professionally for work, so my texts are always fully spelled out (no "c u soon" or "u r funny" or heaven forbid "lol") with proper punctuation. I also rarely use exclamation points.

Some people use lots of emojis, exclamations points, abbreviations, and the like. So you may thing I was being cold but I'm just being normal.

Try reading her text with exclamation points and then acknowledge that she doesn't use them.

"I'm not that mom! Have a nice day!" Same words, different tone. I doubt she meant it the way you think.

Nope. Not it. She was offended. She is not friendly. But I am over it now as I realize it's nothing personal and I did not do anything wrong.

You are so wrong. But ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tend to write very professionally for work, so my texts are always fully spelled out (no "c u soon" or "u r funny" or heaven forbid "lol") with proper punctuation. I also rarely use exclamation points.

Some people use lots of emojis, exclamations points, abbreviations, and the like. So you may thing I was being cold but I'm just being normal.

Try reading her text with exclamation points and then acknowledge that she doesn't use them.

"I'm not that mom! Have a nice day!" Same words, different tone. I doubt she meant it the way you think.

Nope. Not it. She was offended. She is not friendly. But I am over it now as I realize it's nothing personal and I did not do anything wrong.

You are so wrong. But ok.

Are you OP? LOL. You have interacted with this parent since the original conversation? You have insider knowledge?

[Anonymous]

I didn’t read through the rest of the thread but I’m a millennial mom and a full blown minimalist and I still keep a lot of these crafts, they mean a lot to me. Your comment was judgey and rude and holier than thou, in the words of DCUM you’re a sanctimommy oh the cool mom who’s not sentimental but the rest of us are idiots hoarding all this cr0p. Try less commentary on others’ parenting next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tough crowd here. OP, I totally get what you're saying. It's the curt "Have a good afternoon" that is weird. It reads as her shutting the conversation down when you were just trying to be friendly. I really don't think you approached it incorrectly and she sounds a bit unfriendly to me. Though, I agree with others that it is REALLY hard to read tone over text. I just wouldn't try to chat it up or joke with her over text again.

This. She isn't one of your "people". NBD.

OP here. This. This is it. It's the shutting down comment. Anytime another parent is being kind or friendly I am earnest and eager to respond back with friendliness. This Mom is not. She is not one of my people. I totally get that now. I saw her this morning. She might be a little socially awkward, in that she takes herself very seriously. I really misjudged her, and made assumptions of her partly because of her appearance. She comes across as a sort of non-traditional mom, with tattoos up her sleeves, and as a tattooed Mom myself, I guess I felt like she might be sort of an open-minded, fun and friendly person. She really is not. So, lesson learned. I move on now.

I'm a non-traditional, open-minded mom (with tattoos) and I also hate text banter. I try to remember to use exclamation points or smiley faces, but sometimes I forget. I love grabbing coffee or a drink, but when I see that texting could go on for a long time I do try to shut it down, even with close friends. Maybe I'm not one of your people but I wouldn't write her off based on a text.

This isn't it though. I realize she shares things all the time in the WhatsApp group. Dumb things like memes from GOT and links to Facebook which is awkward because those of us who don't have Facebook can't open the link and we have no idea what it is she is sharing.
I realize she is just not friendly. In texts or in person. I realized that this morning when I saw her at drop off. It's nothing personal to me and I won't take the time to interact with her anymore.

I get that people like to be sanctimonious about not having FB, but this is only awkward because your group is making it so. Unless she is constantly sharing private / friends only posts (which I doubt), then yes you can click and view them fine. They'll just open in your browser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tend to write very professionally for work, so my texts are always fully spelled out (no "c u soon" or "u r funny" or heaven forbid "lol") with proper punctuation. I also rarely use exclamation points.

Some people use lots of emojis, exclamations points, abbreviations, and the like. So you may thing I was being cold but I'm just being normal.

Try reading her text with exclamation points and then acknowledge that she doesn't use them.

"I'm not that mom! Have a nice day!" Same words, different tone. I doubt she meant it the way you think.

Nope. Not it. She was offended. She is not friendly. But I am over it now as I realize it's nothing personal and I did not do anything wrong.

You are so wrong. But ok.

Are you OP? LOL. You have interacted with this parent since the original conversation? You have insider knowledge?

Is OP the other mom? She is deciding that that mom was offended, despite the fact that her text was nice, and she has decided that she is not friendly because she didn't respond to OP's joke the way OP wanted her to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, she got tired of all the conversation. That's all.

Exactly. Because it wasn't a conversation. It should have been a simple question, she gave you a simple answer and you have blown this so out of proportion its almost comical. She told you to have a nice day and somehow she is unfriendly? Because she doesn't want to make a question into a whole text conversation. Maybe she doesn't like you because you are a drama queen.

[Anonymous]

I hate the “I’m a bad mom” nonsense. I’m super friendly, but I’m not going to engage in a conversation judging myself, you, or mothers that do save things in a binder. It was just unnecessary. Don’t call yourself or anyone a bad mom and you’ll find yourself in fewer awkward interactions.

[Anonymous]

OP, if someone doesn't get your joke or doesn't find it funny, then just move on with the conversation (or in the case of random chat with people who you barely know, drop the conversation). Disecting the joke and explaining how it's supposed to be funny, does not make it any funnier for them.