I seem to have offended another parent
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
...and I feel so awkward. I don't know what to do next.
The gist of it is, a couple pieces of her child's art were sent home in my child's backpack by mistake. They are these very typical crafty things done by the preschool set almost daily. I have two kids under 5, so when I get stacks or art done at school, about half of it goes straight to the trash, and I only keep those things that are truly remarkable or great for display or can be repurposed, like used for art again at home. Anyway I'm in a WhatsApp group with this other parent, so I sent her a picture of the two items and asked her if she would like me to bring them back the next day, or should I just throw them away, with a funny face, and I made a little bit of a joke about how I feel like a bad mom because I don't keep most of my kids' art. She responded saying just throw it in the trash. I followed up by saying good I don't feel like such a bad mom because I usually throw a lot of my kids' art from school in the trash too, but I know parents who keep binders of every piece their kid brings home. She responded in a very curt way, like, I am not that Mom. Have a good day. Then I tried explaining myself that I wasn't implying anyone with a bad mom I was making a self-deprecating joke. Anyway, it was like I was trying to make light of a situation and thought we could share a laugh about how they get sent home with these unspectacular things that we are unsentimental about and just toss... I realize I'm over thinking this but gosh I wasn't trying to imply she is a bad mom. I thought we were kind of friendly as parents of kids in the same class and thought a joke could be shared... Agh. Should I not have made a joke like that? And am I bad mom? Lol. |
Anonymous
| Let it go. Maybe she was having a bad day, or in the middle of something at work. |
Anonymous
| Are you sure it was curt? She might have been assuring you she did not do that (save everything). |
Anonymous
|
?
She didn't care, OP. She wasn't offended. She just didn't have the time to respond to your inanities. She has other things to do. Sigh. Try not to be so insecure. It makes you weird and people pick up on that. |
Anonymous
| I think you may be reading too much into her response. I think she simply meant she wasn’t the type of mom that put everything in a binder. I wouldn’t worry about this. |
Anonymous
| Why did you ask in the first place? She was probably annoyed she had to take the time to respond to a ridiculous question. Just toss it and be done. It’s preschool art. I bet she didn’t give 2 sh1ts about it |
Anonymous
|
OP here. I get it. I honestly agree with all of you above. It did feel really awkward though, like each time I tried to joke she replied in a very serious way.
I don't know her very well so I will try to just not think about it anymore. I think she might not be as friendly as I thought she was -- I think part of my awkward feeling is I thought we were friendly and jokey together, like on the playground when we're chatting picking up our kids. I'll brush it off, and maybe not try to be so light-hearted with people I don't know well... Text/chat conversations can be so misread. |
Anonymous
I asked because I wouldn't throw away another person's belongings, with their name on it, without their/their parents' permission!! What if the next day they ask about the present they made that was going to their grandma... Who knows! I wouldn't make a big deal of it if someone threw out my kids' art without asking, but I would think of it as rude or lazy for not at least asking first. |
Anonymous
| Typical millennial parent. |
Anonymous
| I’m really confused? Maybe explain this a different way for the slower ones among us |
Anonymous
| I’d feel the same way OP. But just let it go and maybe learn that this person isn’t the friend you thought they might be. But you are not coming across insecure to me or a bad mom at all! |
Anonymous
LOL. I made a joke about myself being a bad mom because most of my children's art from school goes straight to the trash. When the other mom replied that I should just throw her son's art in the trash (which was mistakenly put in my son's backpack), I made another joke about how I feel better that I'm not the only bad mom. Feeling awkward makes me want to talk more, I guess, so I explained that I know other parents who keep a binder with every piece of art their child brings home. She responded just, "I am not that mom. Have a good afternoon." Which of course made me feel even more awkward and I followed up by saying, "Sorry, bad joke..." I just got the impression she was offended by what I was saying. I was a bit taken aback by her responses. Is there not some irony in the fact that these piles of papers and art get sent home and we just toss them? Like, is it kind of funny that I'm so unsentimental about them all and can just throw them out? And yes, i'm a millenial parent!! |
Anonymous
Ah, thanks! Finally, a sympathetic poster 
I will sleep better now
|
Anonymous
I understand it as she isn’t “ that mom” that saves every single things. Not sure why you think she is offended. Did she not use enough laughing emojis or something? |
Anonymous
Ok, she definitely wasn’t offended, just thought you were weird/awkward and you also probably stress too much about little things like whether kids artworks get thrown away. |