Do you ever get to a point where you feel well-rested as a parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not well-rested by the time your kids are in elementary school, barring health or other issues, you’re doing something very, very wrong.

I don’t know. It’s easy to fall into a trap where you work while the kids are in school, then log back in after they go to bed. And when they don’t go to bed until 9pm, that can lead to late nights.

[Anonymous]

Yes definitely. Around the time youngest was 4-5.

Kids are teens and tweens now. I get a full nights sleep, sleep in on weekends, get tons of down time when kids are off with friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually, when I began working again.
I really LOVED the moment after the usual hectic morning of getting the kids ready, walking them to school, jumping on the subway, then settling into my workstation with a hot cup of morning tea and slowly checking emails and the workday's task ahead without being interrupted. The last 3 words are important - focusing without being interrupted.
I entered this magical world when my youngest entered kindergarten and I hit the job market pronto.
That un-interrupted morning tea was the best well-rested moment of my day.

Now that I work from home, well, it's OK I guess. The kids are older and don't need me as much but I have to look at the laundry and dishes all day and get distracted by the home chores that need to get done. So since lockdown, my morning teas no longer feel like an escape.

When my kids were little, i enjoyed momday mornings bavk at thr office, where i can drink my coffee uninterrupted AND go.to.the nathroom ALONE.

Yeah, being able to go to the bathroom alone once more is a big deal. You don't know you've lost this important daily bit of privacy until you've got it back.

Why not just... lock the door? Teach kids to knock and wait?

I've truly never understood the "I can't pee alone" thing - I have 3 kids and this has never been a problem. Why are you constantly allowing your kids into the bathroom if you don't want them there?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually, when I began working again.
I really LOVED the moment after the usual hectic morning of getting the kids ready, walking them to school, jumping on the subway, then settling into my workstation with a hot cup of morning tea and slowly checking emails and the workday's task ahead without being interrupted. The last 3 words are important - focusing without being interrupted.
I entered this magical world when my youngest entered kindergarten and I hit the job market pronto.
That un-interrupted morning tea was the best well-rested moment of my day.

Now that I work from home, well, it's OK I guess. The kids are older and don't need me as much but I have to look at the laundry and dishes all day and get distracted by the home chores that need to get done. So since lockdown, my morning teas no longer feel like an escape.

When my kids were little, i enjoyed momday mornings bavk at thr office, where i can drink my coffee uninterrupted AND go.to.the nathroom ALONE.

Yeah, being able to go to the bathroom alone once more is a big deal. You don't know you've lost this important daily bit of privacy until you've got it back.

Why not just... lock the door? Teach kids to knock and wait?

I've truly never understood the "I can't pee alone" thing - I have 3 kids and this has never been a problem. Why are you constantly allowing your kids into the bathroom if you don't want them there?!

+1. I never let my child in the bathroom with me except when she was being potty trained and I let her watch me go to learn the mechanics.

[Anonymous]

Once my first was sleep trained at 4 months, it probably took me another month or two to regain my balance, catch up on sleep, etc, but then I was well rested and not super stressed for large chunks of his babyhood/early toddlerhood. There were things in there that would pop up (notably moving) that would stress me out again and I would be busy and not able to get enough sleep and rest, but I always came back.

We had our second when the first was 19 months. The first four months were hell. I hated every living second of it and had a raging case of PPD. But, I got into therapy, we sleep trained again at 4 months, and I'm already feeling much better. She's almost six months now. I wouldn't say I'm well rested yet, still catching up on sleep and various crap that got ignored the last few months. It'll definitely take longer to get back on top of things now that there are two. But I'd be really surprised if I wasn't back to well rested by... April?

But I prioritize sleep and downtime. We sleep train early. I'm the person who pops up on a thread every now and then saying that I only wash my sheets monthly and gets called gross. We have a monthly cleaning person and do basically no other cleaning between (also called gross). We do independent playtime. We don't make homemade baby food, Gerber purees for us. We're insane about sleep schedules and sleep hygiene for the kids. And most importantly, I have an equal partner husband who does half.

Enjoy your super clean sheets. I'll enjoy my sanity. Seems like a very worthwhile trade off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually, when I began working again.
I really LOVED the moment after the usual hectic morning of getting the kids ready, walking them to school, jumping on the subway, then settling into my workstation with a hot cup of morning tea and slowly checking emails and the workday's task ahead without being interrupted. The last 3 words are important - focusing without being interrupted.
I entered this magical world when my youngest entered kindergarten and I hit the job market pronto.
That un-interrupted morning tea was the best well-rested moment of my day.

Now that I work from home, well, it's OK I guess. The kids are older and don't need me as much but I have to look at the laundry and dishes all day and get distracted by the home chores that need to get done. So since lockdown, my morning teas no longer feel like an escape.

When my kids were little, i enjoyed momday mornings bavk at thr office, where i can drink my coffee uninterrupted AND go.to.the nathroom ALONE.

Yeah, being able to go to the bathroom alone once more is a big deal. You don't know you've lost this important daily bit of privacy until you've got it back.

Why not just... lock the door? Teach kids to knock and wait?

I've truly never understood the "I can't pee alone" thing - I have 3 kids and this has never been a problem. Why are you constantly allowing your kids into the bathroom if you don't want them there?!

+1. I never let my child in the bathroom with me except when she was being potty trained and I let her watch me go to learn the mechanics.

I feel like a kid banging on the door doesn’t really count as alone, but what did you do when your kids were too young to be left alone even for a few minutes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually, when I began working again.
I really LOVED the moment after the usual hectic morning of getting the kids ready, walking them to school, jumping on the subway, then settling into my workstation with a hot cup of morning tea and slowly checking emails and the workday's task ahead without being interrupted. The last 3 words are important - focusing without being interrupted.
I entered this magical world when my youngest entered kindergarten and I hit the job market pronto.
That un-interrupted morning tea was the best well-rested moment of my day.

Now that I work from home, well, it's OK I guess. The kids are older and don't need me as much but I have to look at the laundry and dishes all day and get distracted by the home chores that need to get done. So since lockdown, my morning teas no longer feel like an escape.

When my kids were little, i enjoyed momday mornings bavk at thr office, where i can drink my coffee uninterrupted AND go.to.the nathroom ALONE.

Yeah, being able to go to the bathroom alone once more is a big deal. You don't know you've lost this important daily bit of privacy until you've got it back.

Why not just... lock the door? Teach kids to knock and wait?

I've truly never understood the "I can't pee alone" thing - I have 3 kids and this has never been a problem. Why are you constantly allowing your kids into the bathroom if you don't want them there?!

+1. I never let my child in the bathroom with me except when she was being potty trained and I let her watch me go to learn the mechanics.

I feel like a kid banging on the door doesn’t really count as alone, but what did you do when your kids were too young to be left alone even for a few minutes?

Playpen, or (as infant) strapped in bouncer with door open.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are both in college this year and, yeah, I'm starting to get some good sleep.

Yep. They might be having dramas at college, but I don't have a ring side seat every day, only when they call. Of course, now I'm having perimenopause-induced insomnia...

[Anonymous]

My 1yo still wakes 4x a night and DH snores like a freight train.

No rest over here.

Our 4yo has been a dream though and slept 13 hours since she was 3 months old