Just laid off at Biglaw - advice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just want to add, sorry for your news. I have no law experience, so can't advise on the job placement search, but you may want to get a waitressing job at night- maybe a place like Daily Grill or Clyde's. I would suggest bartending, but I think this is harder to come by (but more profitable).

Brings in a few hundred a week at least and might stretch those savings a few months longer. I always say if DH or I lost our jobs, we could make our mortgage doing this - it wouldn't be pretty, but we could do it for a bit. It may be worth a try - if you do explore it, it takes a few weeks to make $$ at - you get the crappy shifts at first, but that will change.

Anyhow- good luck. You have gotten a lot of good advice from everyone else. Sorry this is happening, but you are obviously resourceful and smart- you are already on DCUM problem-solving - you will get through this.

Good idea, thanks.

[Anonymous]

I am a mom of a SN child and I have been really happy with the services provided by Arlington County. We live in S. Arlington, which is cheaper than NW DC and still a good commute. GL OP.

[Anonymous]

Thanks, 9:20, OP here. One consideration with relocating is that we have only one very old and unreliable car so need to be in a place that if the worst occured with that, we could do without for living and commuting for a time. Areas near metros and walkable to groceries tend to cost more. Argh. I have to say that looking into the abyss is wonderfully clarifying and is really helping put everything else in perspective. We are also awaiting lab results for one of the kids who may have a life threatening condition. It's all so overwhelming that I'm actually feeling more grateful for the little happy moments through the day. We will get through this. I've started looking for part time and legal temp jobs myself. Please keep the good suggestions coming. I really appreciate the support and good wishes. The tip about maximizinb DH's unemployment was genius, would not have thought of that.

[Anonymous]

I don't have a lot to add to the good advice many PPs have already offered. Just want to say that the parents of SN kids whom I know are resourceful, brave, strong folks who can get through a lot that's really tough. Your experience parenting SN children will stand you in good stead. Hang in there and know that a lot of us are pulling for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DH should start talking to his colleagues NOW about opportunities. Maybe the firm can even keep him around a little longer. I know it will be embarrassing, but he should explain his situation (2 special needs kids, SAH wife, no good savings, lots of law school debt). There were a few associates that my firm laid off last year and some had similar sob stories. In one case, the firm rehired one person and EVERYBODY networked for these attorneys on their behalf. If he keeps quiet about his circumstances though, people might just not know to help him.

This is good advice. Some of the firms really will negotiate on severance and timing of the layoff, but the keep it on the down low. So he will need to be discreet -- the last thing the firm wants is word getting out to their other laid off attorneys that severance is negotiable. But I know from experience that it is some places. Also, as someone else said, it can't hurt to ask.

And yes, he should call to make an appointment with his outplacement counselor ASAP. If it's Shannon & Manch, he'll be in very good hands. They offer excellent job search help and emotional support, too. A surprise layoff is very tough on the whole family, and it will be a huge benefit to you, the DW, if your husband also has another source of support!

Good luck!!

[Anonymous]

OP here, the summer is a terrible time to job hunt in DC the timing of this is so bad. Was feeling more hopeful yesterday, but not today. DH is working on negotiating something slightly longer, but given the types he worked for, not sure it's likely. I think he is in denial. He was going to submit the student loan forbearance docs and he said "Well, technically I am not unemployed right now", um, yeah, you are. Just because your severence is spread out, it doesn't mean your job didn't end. I just keep making lists of things to sell, there just aren't many expenses to cut. Haven't even been able to get COBRA amounts from the d*mn firm, Ugh, ugh, ugh. Shannon & Manch did have great suggestions, so that is something.

[Anonymous]

Oh, OP< I really feel for you, and your husband.

He's having a tough time accepting reality. He knows the pressure on him, having a SAH wife and two medically fragile kids. He'll come around. Be gentle but keep pushing him to do what you know needs to be done and to submit whatever forms needed. Get your ducks in a row to look for whatever assistance there may be for you, no matter what. Take anything you can find. It sounds as if you don't have much in savings, so if worst comes to worst, after the severance runs out, you might qualify for all sorts of aid programs if need be. Don't automatically assume you don't -- food, housing, whatever. Look into it now and hopefully you won't need it: Your church or synagogue, Local Food Pantry; Energy assistance programs; Salvation Army ; Sliding Scale Dental and Medical Clinics; WIC; Food Stamps; Medicaid Program. If you are looking for things to sell to raise cash, and have nothing left in the budget to cut back on, it is time to look into these things. At the very least, knowing what is out there as a safety net may provide you with some measure of comfort.

Do you have any close friends in the area? I don't mean to move in with, but to ask for help and support emotionally and logistically? I know if I were your friend I'd be happy to help you research various options and gather applications and stuff like that. Let EVERYONE know your husband is being laid off. There's no shame and the more people who know the more help they can offer you.

Finally -- remember that a lot of people are going through this or have gone through it in the past few years. You are't alone.

[Anonymous]

Do you not have any family? I'm sorry, but I think the best thing you can do is move to a smaller area with a lower cost of living based on everything you have shared. The two of you are being smacked hard in the face by life and I think it is very apparent that you all have neglected everything in your lives to take care of your children and now you are in a horrible situation. Your car is even in horrible shape. I have huge sympathy for you and know what you are facing is horrible and extremely worrisome, but I think you are making a huge mistake trying to stay in this area. The costs of COBRA alone are going to kill you.

[Anonymous]

Another option is to have your DH talk to whoever likes him best at the firm, explain the 2 SN children issue, and ask if the firm will keep him on as a contract attny while he looks for another position. He would only be paid for what he bills. The firm may be willing to do this because the firm's problem may be paying him a full wage for 1000 hrs worth of work per year, but paying only when he works takes that away.

[Anonymous]

If your kids will qualify for Medicaid or DC Healthy Families, that will lower the cost of COBRA (since you;d just have to pay for you and DH). Here's a link with information about how to apply/qualify:
http://dhcf.dc.gov/dhcf/cwp/view,A,1412,Q,609129,dhcfNav,%7C34820%7C.asp

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you not have any family? I'm sorry, but I think the best thing you can do is move to a smaller area with a lower cost of living based on everything you have shared. The two of you are being smacked hard in the face by life and I think it is very apparent that you all have neglected everything in your lives to take care of your children and now you are in a horrible situation. Your car is even in horrible shape. I have huge sympathy for you and know what you are facing is horrible and extremely worrisome, but I think you are making a huge mistake trying to stay in this area. The costs of COBRA alone are going to kill you.

You don't know that it is a mistake or not to stay in this area, PP. This area might be where the jobs for her husband basically are. If he finds work in a month or two, staying here would have been the right decision. If not, then not -- that's what is really going to be hard to decide for OP.

[Anonymous]

I think the government is still subsidizing COBRA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, the summer is a terrible time to job hunt in DC the timing of this is so bad.

He has a few months to go before the summer slow down hits. In my experience, it's July and August when the job market quiets down (but don't stop entirely . . . . ) In the meantime, I think there's been a big pick up lately for government and in-house interviewing. Make sure he's checking out the Association of Corporate Counsel job board for in-house (http://jobline.acc.com/search.cfm) and targeting the right agencies in the Fed Govt for his specialty.

Also, I'm so glad he's reached out to Shannon & Manch! Many firms use them for outplacement help, but not everyone takes advantage as they should. The counselors are all-stars, so please know he's in very good hands. In some ways, the best thing you can do may be to encourage him to meet with his career counselor at least once a week, and perhaps to schedule a quick phone check-in each week in between meetings, as well. It'll be great support for him as he moves from the "denial" phase into more of an action mode. (The denial/paralysis stage is really typical, by the way. Having a counselor to talk through it with him is a big help!)

Good luck and big hugs to you all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you not have any family? I'm sorry, but I think the best thing you can do is move to a smaller area with a lower cost of living based on everything you have shared. The two of you are being smacked hard in the face by life and I think it is very apparent that you all have neglected everything in your lives to take care of your children and now you are in a horrible situation. Your car is even in horrible shape. I have huge sympathy for you and know what you are facing is horrible and extremely worrisome, but I think you are making a huge mistake trying to stay in this area. The costs of COBRA alone are going to kill you.

OP here, that's exactly what we have done, and now that they are finally doing well, everything else is falling apart. We were just starting to see our way clear and starting to save again. Don't have a concentration of family anywhere outside of the NYC area, so not really cheaper. No easy answers. An additional consideration re: moving is bar membership, can't just pick up and practice law anywhere. Going to give things a little time, would pull the plug before the fall, I think, to get DC in school. Not sure where we'd go though, no one in either family has extra room or contacts in the legal profession. Ack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you not have any family? I'm sorry, but I think the best thing you can do is move to a smaller area with a lower cost of living based on everything you have shared. The two of you are being smacked hard in the face by life and I think it is very apparent that you all have neglected everything in your lives to take care of your children and now you are in a horrible situation. Your car is even in horrible shape. I have huge sympathy for you and know what you are facing is horrible and extremely worrisome, but I think you are making a huge mistake trying to stay in this area. The costs of COBRA alone are going to kill you.

OP here, that's exactly what we have done, and now that they are finally doing well, everything else is falling apart. We were just starting to see our way clear and starting to save again. Don't have a concentration of family anywhere outside of the NYC area, so not really cheaper. No easy answers. An additional consideration re: moving is bar membership, can't just pick up and practice law anywhere. Going to give things a little time, would pull the plug before the fall, I think, to get DC in school. Not sure where we'd go though, no one in either family has extra room or contacts in the legal profession. Ack.

Bar membership isn't a huge hurdle. If he doesn't qualify to waive in, then you just sit for another bar. Sucks but a lot of people move cities at least once during their legal career. If he goes in house, he may not need to take that state's bar exam at all, for example in VA you just have to show you are in good standing with the bar of at least one state. I wouldn't let that stop me from looking elsewhere.