How do you deal when you hate having a dog?

[Anonymous]

I was on the fence for a puppy, too. My kids wanted one so badly. We fostered a few puppies and it cemented in my mind that I'm just not a dog person. Oh...they are cute. But I don't want them in my house lol. I have raised 4 kids and I want to be free now to do what I want when I want to. I hated not being able to leave the house for more than a few hours. I hated the smell, the work, every single thing about it. And now that my kids are all teens and older, I see that no matter what they said, they would be busy and I would be stuck home with the dog I did not want. I need a break from caring for others, and am not wealthy enough to pay for doggie day care, etc. It would be all on me 90% of the time.

I like a clean house, don't want more work, and the endless needs of dogs (have many friends with older dogs so I know it wasn't just the puppy thing), all turn me off. It's just not for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We got our dog about a year ago. We did a lot of research, I have experience with dogs, we all thought we wanted one.

Turns out I hate having a dog. Everyone else in the family is happy, and everyone does pitch in for her care. I just hate all aspects of being responsible for a pet.

As she gets older it’s gotten a little easier, but I’m so bummed I have to spend the next 12 years or so dealing with this. It’s such a contrast from having kids, my kids bring me SO much happiness, and the dog just feels like a total drag for me.

Anyone else been there? How did you cope?

My dog is turning 17 soon. wife got it for kids. I have been putting it out every morning and night going on 17 years. I was against it. I bet he lives to 20.

[Anonymous]

We inherited a dog from an elderly aunt who passed away. We did not want a dog, but no one else would take it and we didn't feel right about turning the dog over to a shelter.

Dog has been great in lots of ways. Adjusted easily to life in a busy family with small kids and cats. She's extremely affectionate, which is lovely, and she barks any time any one comes within 10 feet of the house, which gives me peace of mind when DH travels. I love seeing her cheerful face at the door when I come home.

But she has some really unpleasant quirks. The hardest to live with is the obsession with food. She is relentless. She will leap at you to take food you are holding above your head, climbs onto the kitchen counters to lick pots, and will even eat things that aren't food, like scented hand cream or cat litter. We have to hang the toilet paper on pegs that are at least 5 feet off the floor because she eats it. We've use pet gates throughout the house to contain her and keep her from anything she might eat. She barks and paces non-stop during meals.

Walking her is physically dangerous, as she will leap and pull and drag you across the sidewalk and into the street if she smells so much as a tiny crumb. We have a choker collar and a special net that she has to wear to be walked safely. She has eaten things on the street that have led to stomach surgery, twice.

And that's all before the pills, prescription diet, and bi-weekly vet visits for chronic conditions that, while mostly controlled, involve incontinence. We have had to replace all our rugs with machine-washable.

As much as I enjoy the companionship, it's really, really hard to live with a dog like this. I would never abandon her or fault her for these requirements, but I pray every day that I'll wake up to find that she has passed peacefully in the night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We inherited a dog from an elderly aunt who passed away. We did not want a dog, but no one else would take it and we didn't feel right about turning the dog over to a shelter.

Dog has been great in lots of ways. Adjusted easily to life in a busy family with small kids and cats. She's extremely affectionate, which is lovely, and she barks any time any one comes within 10 feet of the house, which gives me peace of mind when DH travels. I love seeing her cheerful face at the door when I come home.

But she has some really unpleasant quirks. The hardest to live with is the obsession with food. She is relentless. She will leap at you to take food you are holding above your head, climbs onto the kitchen counters to lick pots, and will even eat things that aren't food, like scented hand cream or cat litter. We have to hang the toilet paper on pegs that are at least 5 feet off the floor because she eats it. We've use pet gates throughout the house to contain her and keep her from anything she might eat. She barks and paces non-stop during meals.

Walking her is physically dangerous, as she will leap and pull and drag you across the sidewalk and into the street if she smells so much as a tiny crumb. We have a choker collar and a special net that she has to wear to be walked safely. She has eaten things on the street that have led to stomach surgery, twice.

And that's all before the pills, prescription diet, and bi-weekly vet visits for chronic conditions that, while mostly controlled, involve incontinence. We have had to replace all our rugs with machine-washable.

As much as I enjoy the companionship, it's really, really hard to live with a dog like this. I would never abandon her or fault her for these requirements, but I pray every day that I'll wake up to find that she has passed peacefully in the night.

np You do realize that training could help you with this dog? Why haven't you done any training??? I ihave two dogs. One I adopted at 2 and we got a dog trainer right away and taught her how to walk and not pull. Now we have a one year old that we got at 8 weeks. He has been in class since 4 months old and it takes consistency and patience but he is also learning not to counter surf or drag us on walks.

If you never trained your dog and taught her what to do that is your fault, not the dogs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We inherited a dog from an elderly aunt who passed away. We did not want a dog, but no one else would take it and we didn't feel right about turning the dog over to a shelter.

Dog has been great in lots of ways. Adjusted easily to life in a busy family with small kids and cats. She's extremely affectionate, which is lovely, and she barks any time any one comes within 10 feet of the house, which gives me peace of mind when DH travels. I love seeing her cheerful face at the door when I come home.

But she has some really unpleasant quirks. The hardest to live with is the obsession with food. She is relentless. She will leap at you to take food you are holding above your head, climbs onto the kitchen counters to lick pots, and will even eat things that aren't food, like scented hand cream or cat litter. We have to hang the toilet paper on pegs that are at least 5 feet off the floor because she eats it. We've use pet gates throughout the house to contain her and keep her from anything she might eat. She barks and paces non-stop during meals.

Walking her is physically dangerous, as she will leap and pull and drag you across the sidewalk and into the street if she smells so much as a tiny crumb. We have a choker collar and a special net that she has to wear to be walked safely. She has eaten things on the street that have led to stomach surgery, twice.

And that's all before the pills, prescription diet, and bi-weekly vet visits for chronic conditions that, while mostly controlled, involve incontinence. We have had to replace all our rugs with machine-washable.

As much as I enjoy the companionship, it's really, really hard to live with a dog like this. I would never abandon her or fault her for these requirements, but I pray every day that I'll wake up to find that she has passed peacefully in the night.

np You do realize that training could help you with this dog? Why haven't you done any training??? I ihave two dogs. One I adopted at 2 and we got a dog trainer right away and taught her how to walk and not pull. Now we have a one year old that we got at 8 weeks. He has been in class since 4 months old and it takes consistency and patience but he is also learning not to counter surf or drag us on walks.

If you never trained your dog and taught her what to do that is your fault, not the dogs.

PP here. What makes you think we haven't trained the dog?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sending my husband this thread. He’s always had dogs growing up and has been trying for years to get me to agree to get one. I don’t like the way dogs smell, I don’t want to be waking up to walk a dog in darkness and cold and bad weather, I don’t want dog hair all over my house and things, and I pretty much only like dogs from afar. He’s convinced I will fall in love once we get one but I truly think I will end up in OP’s shoes.

OP here. Yup, that's exactly my issue - I hate going out in the cold, the dog hair is so out of control I have to vacuum daily (and we got a "non-shedding" breed), my house smells. The groomers where we live have a 2-3 month wait, so I've been learning how to groom her myself, which is time-intensive. I spent 1.5 hours brushing and cutting her hair yesterday (plus another 30 minutes of cleaning up).

I also just hate the little annoying things, like when I'm trying to work and she starts whining for attention. We ignore it like the trainers say to do, but it still happens. Also hate that I have to spend an hour a day training, I knew there would be some training but it's a LOT. Every walk I have to be 100% focused on training, when I just want to zone out and walk.

I think the problem is that you have assigned yourself to be the primary caretaker. Back off a bit. Require your spouse/kids to groom the dog. Require your spouse/kids to walk the dog. Require your spouse/kids to vacuum the house. Voila! No more hate.

My guess is if there is already this much work/mental lifting inequality, there is not going to be a "Voila!" moment. Expecting people to just change and do what you want them to do is naive and a recipe for disappointment and resentment. If OP "backs off", then the dog doesn't get walked enough and has accidents, has behavioral problems because it isn't trained, and then OP is still tired and worn out but now with an even bigger problem.

Parents in these situations need to balance the current home workloads before adding something as enormous as a dog. All kids must be doing their own chores. Spouse must be doing half the chores/finances/driving kids to activities/meal planning and cooking/ etc. Only THEN can you add a dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all suck. OP rehome your dog if you’re going to feel like this for the rest of its life.

+1

You all sound like terrible and selfish people. Poor dogs.

+1 I know right? Those dogs would be much better off back at the high kill shelter they got them from. We all know there is such a huge demand for dogs that they're rarely euthanized any more. No dog should be forced to live in any house less than perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m thinking of rehoming my dog for the same reason. She a great dog but just not the dog for me. Fortunately she is healthy and well trained so I know she will find a new and better home. She was my husbands dog who died during Covid.

Sorry about your husband.

+1. I’m really sorry for your loss. I wonder if this dog is a painful reminder for you at a time of grief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sending my husband this thread. He’s always had dogs growing up and has been trying for years to get me to agree to get one. I don’t like the way dogs smell, I don’t want to be waking up to walk a dog in darkness and cold and bad weather, I don’t want dog hair all over my house and things, and I pretty much only like dogs from afar. He’s convinced I will fall in love once we get one but I truly think I will end up in OP’s shoes.

OP here. Yup, that's exactly my issue - I hate going out in the cold, the dog hair is so out of control I have to vacuum daily (and we got a "non-shedding" breed), my house smells. The groomers where we live have a 2-3 month wait, so I've been learning how to groom her myself, which is time-intensive. I spent 1.5 hours brushing and cutting her hair yesterday (plus another 30 minutes of cleaning up).

I also just hate the little annoying things, like when I'm trying to work and she starts whining for attention. We ignore it like the trainers say to do, but it still happens. Also hate that I have to spend an hour a day training, I knew there would be some training but it's a LOT. Every walk I have to be 100% focused on training, when I just want to zone out and walk.

I think the problem is that you have assigned yourself to be the primary caretaker. Back off a bit. Require your spouse/kids to groom the dog. Require your spouse/kids to walk the dog. Require your spouse/kids to vacuum the house. Voila! No more hate.

I agree with this. Delegate more.

Also, I vacuum every day and it has nothing to do with dogs. That’s just part of housekeeping for a lot of people especially those with kids who track in dirt.

Agree with the other PP who said you are setting an important example to your children about the value of caring for life and following through on commitments.

[Anonymous]

Thanks PPs. My kids desperately want a dog, and I occasionally waver, so a little truth-telling is really helpful. I didn't have indoor pets growing up due to family allergies, and I was attacked by a relative's dog so actually am pretty solidly opposed. But sometimes I feel like such a jerk because literally every single family we know has a dog, and they love their dogs. It makes me feel almost sub-human not to be part of that. A little reminder about the downsides - the puke and excrement and pet hair and *smell* (sorry, yes all your houses smell like dogs) - is a good thing for those of us who aren't natural pet people.

[Anonymous]

Wow - you people suck. Those of you who hate having the dog appear to have gotten one during the pandemic. So you now qualify a 'those people'. Those people who got a dog during the pandemic and now that the pandemic appears to be lifting, and life is returning to normal, are now convincing themselves that the dog is a burden.

Selfish and crappy. Stop pouring out your selfishness on DCUM and find a better place for the dog. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. The dog is the to feel sorry for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow - you people suck. Those of you who hate having the dog appear to have gotten one during the pandemic. So you now qualify a 'those people'. Those people who got a dog during the pandemic and now that the pandemic appears to be lifting, and life is returning to normal, are now convincing themselves that the dog is a burden.

Selfish and crappy. Stop pouring out your selfishness on DCUM and find a better place for the dog. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. The dog is the to feel sorry for.

Why? I didnt give birth to it. Not selfish. I care for my kids who I brought into the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow - you people suck. Those of you who hate having the dog appear to have gotten one during the pandemic. So you now qualify a 'those people'. Those people who got a dog during the pandemic and now that the pandemic appears to be lifting, and life is returning to normal, are now convincing themselves that the dog is a burden.

Selfish and crappy. Stop pouring out your selfishness on DCUM and find a better place for the dog. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. The dog is the to feel sorry for.

Why? I didnt give birth to it. Not selfish. I care for my kids who I brought into the world.

^^I'm not sure what your situation is but no matter your circumstance, you are selfish and the dog deserves way better than your pathetic ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow - you people suck. Those of you who hate having the dog appear to have gotten one during the pandemic. So you now qualify a 'those people'. Those people who got a dog during the pandemic and now that the pandemic appears to be lifting, and life is returning to normal, are now convincing themselves that the dog is a burden.

Selfish and crappy. Stop pouring out your selfishness on DCUM and find a better place for the dog. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. The dog is the to feel sorry for.

Lol u cray

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in the exact same boat. I love animals, I had dogs growing up, I did allll the research. Turns out I hate it too. I'm hoping that it will get better as she gets older- we got her at 12 weeks old, she's 8 months now.

It makes it even worse that I'm "her person"- she looks for me constantly and loves me more than anyone else in the house- so there's this constant guilt that I have for feeling like I wish I could go back and undo the decision. It is just so much work and expense and I still feel like I'm not doing enough. I just got yelled at by the vet for not brushing her teeth every day. I have no advice, but wanted to let you know you're not alone.

This is hard to believe