16 year old won’t shovel driveway.

Anonymous
Definitely an attitude that takes years to develop. Today I offered to pay my 16 year old to "detail" the inside of my car. (He does this as a part time job for a local car detailer). He looked at me in astonishment and said "I'll do it but you're not paying me!" I asked him why not and he said "That's ridiculous. You drive me places, wash my clothes, make dinner, and do so much else and you think I would take money from you to clean the inside of your car?!"

It was an attitude we taught our kids from a very young age...that we all work together as a family, using our strengths and differing amounts of time and energy, to make the home function. And I have never given my kids an allowance or had to promise them Wifi to get them to help. They aren't perfect, and can be very messy, but I know I've instilled the right mindset at least.
Anonymous
OP here. I never gave my kids an allowance because of the belief you stated. I still screwed up raising this kid.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Here’s how it went in our home:

Me: I’m going to shovel the driveway

Kid 1: do we have to help?!?!

me: whatever your conscience tells you to do….

Kids came and helped.


This is stupid. You’re creating problems down the road by using guilt as your main means of communication. And in this case it doesn’t even sound like it was necessary. A simple “yes!” Would have sufficed.

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