People with kids at a safety school — How are they doing?

[Anonymous]

If the school he went to was on the list he put together, then I can't believe that all of the other students there are underachievers with no goals, motivation or ambition.

You people sound like hopeless snobs.

Try reading Frank Bruni's, "Where You Go Is Not Who You'll Be"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is excelling, big fish in small pond, BUT a lot of his friends have transferred out or are planning to do so. Be sure you check to see how many peers your kid will have in top 25th%, and if kid is way above the top 25% number, perhaps apply to a few more places where SAT would put kid at bottom rung of top 25 instead of higher end. He is working on transfer apps and as a transfer there is no possibility for aid.

If he is excelling, why transfer? Can’t he make more friends? He will have to at the new school anyway…

Or is his superiority complex, fed by you, motivating the move?

If you’re 6’6” and dunking on 5 footers, there’s not much joy. Instead, it’s increasingly apparent that you’re playing WAY BELOW your potential. You will get better only when you are well-matched to your peers or those somewhat better.

Taking Organic chemistry is not analogous to playing basketball.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is excelling, big fish in small pond, BUT a lot of his friends have transferred out or are planning to do so. Be sure you check to see how many peers your kid will have in top 25th%, and if kid is way above the top 25% number, perhaps apply to a few more places where SAT would put kid at bottom rung of top 25 instead of higher end. He is working on transfer apps and as a transfer there is no possibility for aid.

If he is excelling, why transfer? Can’t he make more friends? He will have to at the new school anyway…

Or is his superiority complex, fed by you, motivating the move?

If you’re 6’6” and dunking on 5 footers, there’s not much joy. Instead, it’s increasingly apparent that you’re playing WAY BELOW your potential. You will get better only when you are well-matched to your peers or those somewhat better.

Taking Organic chemistry is not analogous to playing basketball.

But if your kid is excelling in all classes and choose what would only be classified as a safety bc of desire to play his sport and his recruiting was destroyed by an injury & COVID, it becomes a real thing to have to consider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is excelling, big fish in small pond, BUT a lot of his friends have transferred out or are planning to do so. Be sure you check to see how many peers your kid will have in top 25th%, and if kid is way above the top 25% number, perhaps apply to a few more places where SAT would put kid at bottom rung of top 25 instead of higher end. He is working on transfer apps and as a transfer there is no possibility for aid.

not sure i follow. DS's friends are transferring b/c the school is not academically challenging enough?

Correct. Too small a peer group as well.

np - i don't buy "transferring because the school is not academically challenging enough" crap. i don't care if you are a big fish, large frog, or ugly crab, if you want to challenge yourself, you can push yourself in any college. What a nonsense

Hey NP, I’m just reporting what the boy says. I happen to agree with you! I will give him this though - they really aren’t known for recruiting into his desired career track.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child had 1580 SAT, GPA of 4,6. They are at W&M for CS, which was a safety. Doing great, spent a year abroad, had
enough credits from school to do classes they want, not just they need. Had an internship every summer. Can't wish any better.

This is awesome. Do you have any idea if it is “easier” to get in coming from DC with Tag or from somewhere in Northern VA? Thinking of relocating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is excelling, big fish in small pond, BUT a lot of his friends have transferred out or are planning to do so. Be sure you check to see how many peers your kid will have in top 25th%, and if kid is way above the top 25% number, perhaps apply to a few more places where SAT would put kid at bottom rung of top 25 instead of higher end. He is working on transfer apps and as a transfer there is no possibility for aid.

not sure i follow. DS's friends are transferring b/c the school is not academically challenging enough?

Correct. Too small a peer group as well.

np - i don't buy "transferring because the school is not academically challenging enough" crap. i don't care if you are a big fish, large frog, or ugly crab, if you want to challenge yourself, you can push yourself in any college. What a nonsense

DP. When your peers are significantly below you in ability, motivation, ambition, goals, etc. they are not challenging or helping you be better. Imagine yourself on a sports team of elite athletes vs. a team of Bad News Bears. The elite team is motivated, has the best equipment, the best coaches, the best alumni support. Who do you think is going to go somewhere faster?

My kid went to an elite school last year. When asked about his top-of-mind takeaway, he said that he’s been surprised how much harder he works - in all aspects of his life - because he’s with highly motivated students. Environment matters.

PP, thank you for sharing. My DS has expressed the same belief to me. It is true his best friends in HS were all close to being named Valedictorian.
To those of you who mocked me - get a grip. We post here with good intentions, hoping to build community by sharing experiences. If you are so miserable and angry that you need to put someone down on an anonymous board, please get some help. Ah, I remember the golden days of DCUM, when we were all known by our email addresses. People were much longer back then.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, typo in pp. Posters were much kinder back then when DCUM was a digest where our email addresses were shown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the school he went to was on the list he put together, then I can't believe that all of the other students there are underachievers with no goals, motivation or ambition.

You people sound like hopeless snobs.

Try reading Frank Bruni's, "Where You Go Is Not Who You'll Be"

Actually, I forced him to apply to this university because I thought we would need merit, and we did. He will reapply to his former number one choice (huge reach) and to another school we had to decline due to $$$$$, among others. His profile is much stronger now than it was in high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is excelling, big fish in small pond, BUT a lot of his friends have transferred out or are planning to do so. Be sure you check to see how many peers your kid will have in top 25th%, and if kid is way above the top 25% number, perhaps apply to a few more places where SAT would put kid at bottom rung of top 25 instead of higher end. He is working on transfer apps and as a transfer there is no possibility for aid.

If he is excelling, why transfer? Can’t he make more friends? He will have to at the new school anyway…

Or is his superiority complex, fed by you, motivating the move?

If you’re 6’6” and dunking on 5 footers, there’s not much joy. Instead, it’s increasingly apparent that you’re playing WAY BELOW your potential. You will get better only when you are well-matched to your peers or those somewhat better.

At a small SLAC safety, top undergrad students often get to work very closely with professors in ways that grad students would in other schools do. So this varies a lot depending on situation. Or there are honors colleges within the safety that bring up the challenge. But the variation in rigor is real and something to be thought about.

[Anonymous]

My DC is at Tulane. It's only her freshman year and the hurricane was disruptive but she has loved the place and after a recent visit so do we!

One cautionary tale, a family we are close to had a DC at Tulane who got too involved in the party scene. It is as real as they say and for an 18-year old can be truly all consuming and dangerous. That DC left Tulane and is in rehab.

[Anonymous]

The more I look at it, the more I love my DC's favorite likely school. We'd all be very happy with that option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The more I look at it, the more I love my DC's favorite likely school. We'd all be very happy with that option.

My kid got into his first choice and while I'm happy for him and he's doing well, I actually was rooting for the likely and think it would have been an even better fit.

[Anonymous]

I guess reading this, DCUM follows trends as much as anyone else does. Big state schools are trendy now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most SLACs have a student body comprised of 30-40% recruited athletes. These athletes are attracted to the SLACs because of the top shelf academics but let's face it, being a "recruited athlete" and a "college athlete" has an enticing lure to it. The SLACs get bright kids who more often than not come from full pay families. It's a win-win but what I take from the prior post is that being a "college athlete" at a D3 may not be worth it after all, and being a NARP at a place like Wisconsin might have been a better path.

Don’t believe this post. It’s completely false.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the school he went to was on the list he put together, then I can't believe that all of the other students there are underachievers with no goals, motivation or ambition.

You people sound like hopeless snobs.

Try reading Frank Bruni's, "Where You Go Is Not Who You'll Be"

Actually, I forced him to apply to this university because I thought we would need merit, and we did. He will reapply to his former number one choice (huge reach) and to another school we had to decline due to $$$$$, among others. His profile is much stronger now than it was in high school.

Sad that you would "force" your preferences on a kid of that age. Are you "forcing" him to change now, even though he is excelling?

I strongly recommend that you discuss realities with him instead.

You pay what you can pay, and if he chooses debt, he is legally bound to make that work.

I am sure you are well intentioned, but the dynamic in your family does not sound too healthy (or democratic).