Summer birthdays....do you redshirt them, or put them in the big leagues?

[Anonymous]

I'm on the side of being perplexed that other parents care. Mother of May boy had a specific reason to red shirt her son. Those of you who sit in judgment: if you had a child who was that unhappy and there was an obvious solution, you would take it in a second.

I have a May daughter who was not red shirted. A boy in her class with a May birthday was and I remember being shocked that there was a child a whole year older in her class. But they are now in middle school and you would never know the difference. Its a big nothing.

We redshirted my August boy. It was absolutely the right decision. I am not "pushy" or a "helicopter" parent; my son wasn't ready socially for kindergarten. His birthday has no effect on anyone else in the class (and he isn't the biggest by any means -- he's right in the middle.) You have no right to judge me.

[Anonymous]

To the PP, if you followed the discussion, the complaints are not about summer birthdays, or about kids who have an obvious reason for being held back.

[Anonymous]

The schools are driving this in MANY cases. Our DS was admitted to our top choice school for pre-K, not K. If he goes there, his siblings likely will as well, and that's key for us. We viewed him as on the cusp (mid-summer) but would have preferred K. Our preference was not strong, however, and we have been told he would be well within the age range of the class, so we elected not to fight this battle. So, he'll be in pre-K, not because it's our preference, but because it's not a big enough deal to fight if we are on the fence about it and if his entry to the school facilitates younger kids (who were born mid-year so no question as to grade for them). It's not about wanting or son to be bigger/faster/more advanced than anyone, it's about his being admitted to the place we want our kids to go to school and the school making this call. Getting into these schools is a crap shoot in this crazy system, and having our son be a month younger than the published age is something we're willing to accept given that we love the school

[Anonymous]

15:57 again -- the problem is the posters don't really know why these kids are being held back. They see an older kid and just assume their parents are trying to game the system. No one can look at my son and see why he was redshirted and its none of anyone's business anyway. I just wish those standing in judgment would realize this. Unless its your child you really don't know the situation.

[Anonymous]

Exactly. It is a very individual decision and one that parents struggle over. Not one parent who has written about holding their child back has said it was to give their child a chance to dominate (whatever that means). The decision to hold back was to keep their child from struggling and possibly failing.

[Anonymous]

And a child who is unhappy and struggling has a much more detrimental effect on the others than a child who a bit older but ready to be there.