Why have sleepovers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:18 yo son has a male and a female best friend, the three of them still get together for sleepovers. They've known each other since K, they had them all through elementary, but they fizzled out by the time they started middle school, but had a resurgence towards the end of junior year when we were all vaccinated.

Admittedly we weren't sure about letting them start again at first but there's never been any drugs, alcohol, sneaking out or "fooling around" just them getting together to eat junk food, play video games and have goofy fun together until the early hours of the morning. They've always followed the rules we have in place and we still remind them we're trusting them. I think it's great for them to still get together and just have silly fun time together and relive their younger days.

Just wanted to say your son and his friends sound like great kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Growing up in an Italian American family in the 70s sleepovers were never allowed. It was just never done. I still don’t get them. My kids did them maybe once. I don’t like them.

Italian American family. Born in 1970 in Fairfax County. Sleepovers were a big thing. I had them and went to them.

Neighbor in college came from a very large (10 kids), Italian-American family; so Italian that they ran an Italian restaurant as the family business.

Very traditional - which was really hard on the neighbor, since he was gay and felt the need to be super closeted. No way he could come out to his parents; only one sister knew, and she was very disapproving of his orientation.

Obviously no sleepovers; the kids were expected to work all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We rarely do sleepovers. Only with people we know really well. There is no benefit, honestly, only more opportunity for negative things to happen.

So sad for your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We rarely do sleepovers. Only with people we know really well. There is no benefit, honestly, only more opportunity for negative things to happen.

So sad for your kids.

iME there are a handful of parents who live and die by sleepovers but thre majority of parents are more in the occasional to less is better camp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We rarely do sleepovers. Only with people we know really well. There is no benefit, honestly, only more opportunity for negative things to happen.

So sad for your kids.

+ 1 What about the fun times they could be having?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We rarely do sleepovers. Only with people we know really well. There is no benefit, honestly, only more opportunity for negative things to happen.

So sad for your kids.

Agree. Sleepovers are so much fun for the kids. My kids love having them (we tend to always host) and it is great seeing them hanging out, having fun, and forming close friendships.

[Anonymous]

OP, you think like my son. He is 12 and has only been on one sleepover. I would be happy for him to go on more, or host them here, but he has no desire for them. He has a decent group of friends, and he get together with them during the day, or sometimes to watch movies in the evening, but he has no desire whatsoever to sleep in the same place as them.

When I was a kid, I used to enjoy sleepovers, but he just doesn't. He says he sleeps better alone (doesn't like sleeping at overnight camp either).

[Anonymous]

I loved sleepovers when I was a kid because I grew up in an abusive, stressful home where I did not feel loved, and sleepovers gave me a chance to escape that. Though sometimes sleepovers can be stressful too -- I definitely experienced some bullying and socially aggressive behavior at some sleepovers as a kid.

Now as a parent, I would have no problem with my kid doing a sleepover, though I'd definitely put more effort than my parents did into talking to the other kids parents and making sure it was going to be a safe experiences. I'd also want to limit it to no more than 3 kids total, at least if I'm hosting. Past that, I think the group dynamics can get out of hand.

But my kid has never expressed any interest in sleepovers. I don't think the kids at her school really do them, or at least I haven't heard about it. She's still pretty young though (8). Maybe this will become more of a thing in middle school? I recall MS sleepovers being a big thing. By HS kids might sleep at each others house but no one called it a sleepover.

[Anonymous]

Asians and Europeans don’t do sleepovers.

This is a middle America thing.

[Anonymous]

I loved them growing up, and was hoping my daughters would have the same experience. Unfortunately for several years we were close to two families whose daughters were nothing but drama. They were spoiled, rude and always provoking a fight. I was friends with the moms, but after a few years of this my daughter begged me not to meet up with them anymore. Every sleepover ended with either tears or the girls not speaking to each other, or them asking me to call their parents to get them at 2 am. What a nightmare. I’m sad my girls have not had the kind of close, fun friends I had growing up. (My parents were immigrants. I’m glad they let me host and go to sleepovers. )

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asians and Europeans don’t do sleepovers.

This is a middle America thing.

Wrong, I'm in the UK and my kids and their friends have sleepovers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had no idea that sleepovers weren't done around this area until I discovered DCUM.

I grew up in VA and had a sleepover nearly every weekend. It was when my friends and I bonded the most discussing things we couldn't in school.

We live in VA now and my kids have always had sleepovers. Probably around 1 or 2 a month, sometimes more.

We'll be hosting two girls tonight for a sleepover. My 14 yo DD and the two girls are going to a local haunted house beforehand.

Similar. Grew up doing sleepovers.
My children (12 and 14, boys) have them occasionally. They will stay up late playing video games or watching movies.
It’s fun.
Benefit is a parent doesn’t have to come over at 10 pm to pick up. They get an evening to relax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD who is now a college freshman had and attended many sleepovers. I hated hosting them because I do not like people sleeping in our home. The girls were always loud and messy and would stay up all night watching movies or on Instagram. I was so glad when DD graduated HS and transitioned to college. The sleepovers were less frequent in HS because of busy schedules but there were still a few here and there but by that time, they were independent and get their own food or order Door Dash or Uber Eats. Glad to those days are over.

God, you sound like the house that everyone tried to avoid because of the nightmare mom...

[Anonymous]

So they have a place to go after getting drunk at another party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asians and Europeans don’t do sleepovers.

This is a middle America thing.

Because, you know, there's only Asia, Europe... and middle America. And all the people in each place do only the same things as everyone else in those places. Only wasteland anywhere not those 3 places...