Tell me about sta for a…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to NCS and would never ever send my son to St Albany’s, or likely any all boys schools for that matter. Incredibly sexist atmosphere that was demeaning to women. As an ncs girl if you walked down the hallway, they would all stop and stare. If you were in one of their classes, they would stare at you, and often snicker when you commented in class. Sexual harassing jokes in the school publications, etc. Never, never, never would I send my son there.

NP here, I am so sorry to hear this. We were thinking of applying to St. Albans in the future. Could I ask if this was a recent experience? I wonder how things are these days…

As a parent of a current boy, I would like to think that would not be your experience these days. My son enjoys having girls in his English class bc they speak up and are smart. Current head has spent a lot of time critically thinking about the importance of emotional development of boys at single sex schools. I also like that a lot of key faculty members are women (head of English dept, beloved math teacher, associate head of school etc). Frankly, my son thinks of girls as generally more put together than his male classmates.

I am sorry for your experience on behalf of the boys (but fwiw, I went to co-ed high school and also experienced male chauvinism and sexual harassment from male peers. If you graduated before “me too” feels like a different time. But again, want to emphasize that I am not making excuses for poor behavior you experienced. It is unacceptable.

I would also maybe recommend that the girls not wear booty shorts into STA if they aren't looking for stares. But I am betting they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact that so many NCS supporters use the term “conservative” as an insult explains much of the problem with NCS. A school that leans liberal is fine. A school and school community in which people with different political views are insulted, ostracized, and/or belittled is a place that is teaching arrogance and bullying. It’s not a place of true learning.

I don’t think NCS is that bad all the time, but it can get there, and there are segments of the NCS parent community who are pushing it to go farther down that road.

Interesting points. Being conservative and being a Trump supporter or being so far right that your views are racist, bigoted, or homophobic and then if you expresses those views publicly yes I would imagine they would be ostracized, especially if their child repeats racist or bigoted comments made at home by the parents. There is no room at any decent top school for families like that.

This is an exact example of the small-minded and arrogant prejudice against conservatives that permeates so many DC schools. Principled liberals need to fight against this. It does our children no good to be raised in such an intolerant and hypocritical atmosphere.

Are you kidding? The previous poster Is speaking out against families who have openly expressed bigoted and racist views. This is a real thing and it has happened by some conservative families at schools and has been documented - yes actually written down and guilt admitted so yes people have a right to speak out against them. The fact that you are blatantly defending people who have repeatedly expressed bigoted, anti-Semitic, homophobic behavior is beyond disgusting. No one said ALL conservative families. They are speaking out against those with actual incidents.

No, the quote included "Being conservative and being a Trump supporter or". Shockers - half the country voted for Trump. Only close-minded people assume that all of those people are racist and undeserving of respect.

My own DS took a Politics class at NCS where some of the girls shouted him down as "unqualified to speak as a white man" and the teacher just sat there and let them yell. Real education, untainted by advocacy, would teach the girls to articulate their positions with evidence, rather than shouting ad hominem. NCS is pretty far left now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Redirect. Op’s kid likes sports, but doesn’t live and breathe them. Sta a good fit?
Op’s kid likes mix-gendered friends. Sta a good fit? How do most boys like the single sex thing? How much mixing with ncs is there **really** (not just marketed or technically available)?

Is the kid good enough to play on a varsity team one day? That makes a difference. Kids who "like sports" but are not good enough to make varsity end up in the rock climbing club or running cross country. Not the same STA athletic experience and lots of one's friend group revolves around which sports teams one belongs to.

Mix-gendered friends? Your typical STA student has had very little experience with "mix-gendered". So they act like ignorant school boys when the topic comes up.

Mixing with NCS? The last decade has been toxic. Girls claim at harassment at every opportunity. Sometimes they are right.

X-C is the largest sport at the school, and they do an annual summer camp in Vermont. Very social and nothing "lesser" than football or basketball.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact that so many NCS supporters use the term “conservative” as an insult explains much of the problem with NCS. A school that leans liberal is fine. A school and school community in which people with different political views are insulted, ostracized, and/or belittled is a place that is teaching arrogance and bullying. It’s not a place of true learning.

I don’t think NCS is that bad all the time, but it can get there, and there are segments of the NCS parent community who are pushing it to go farther down that road.

Interesting points. Being conservative and being a Trump supporter or being so far right that your views are racist, bigoted, or homophobic and then if you expresses those views publicly yes I would imagine they would be ostracized, especially if their child repeats racist or bigoted comments made at home by the parents. There is no room at any decent top school for families like that.

This is an exact example of the small-minded and arrogant prejudice against conservatives that permeates so many DC schools. Principled liberals need to fight against this. It does our children no good to be raised in such an intolerant and hypocritical atmosphere.

Are you kidding? The previous poster Is speaking out against families who have openly expressed bigoted and racist views. This is a real thing and it has happened by some conservative families at schools and has been documented - yes actually written down and guilt admitted so yes people have a right to speak out against them. The fact that you are blatantly defending people who have repeatedly expressed bigoted, anti-Semitic, homophobic behavior is beyond disgusting. No one said ALL conservative families. They are speaking out against those with actual incidents.

No, the quote included "Being conservative and being a Trump supporter or". Shockers - half the country voted for Trump. Only close-minded people assume that all of those people are racist and undeserving of respect.

My own DS took a Politics class at NCS where some of the girls shouted him down as "unqualified to speak as a white man" and the teacher just sat there and let them yell. Real education, untainted by advocacy, would teach the girls to articulate their positions with evidence, rather than shouting ad hominem. NCS is pretty far left now.

Seriously are you comparing DC to half the country to likes of say Idaho? Half of the DC area did not vote for Trump. Just stop please. Take your right wing garbage elsewhere. Not sure what your pleasure is coming on here disparaging your son’s sister school but let it go, take a deep breath, breathe, go for a walk and do anything else that is productive with your day.your bashing of NCS makes you look bad not the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Redirect. Op’s kid likes sports, but doesn’t live and breathe them. Sta a good fit?
Op’s kid likes mix-gendered friends. Sta a good fit? How do most boys like the single sex thing? How much mixing with ncs is there **really** (not just marketed or technically available)?

Is the kid good enough to play on a varsity team one day? That makes a difference. Kids who "like sports" but are not good enough to make varsity end up in the rock climbing club or running cross country. Not the same STA athletic experience and lots of one's friend group revolves around which sports teams one belongs to.

Mix-gendered friends? Your typical STA student has had very little experience with "mix-gendered". So they act like ignorant school boys when the topic comes up.

Mixing with NCS? The last decade has been toxic. Girls claim at harassment at every opportunity. Sometimes they are right.

X-C is the largest sport at the school, and they do an annual summer camp in Vermont. Very social and nothing "lesser" than football or basketball.

Chiming in that I have a XC runner who is extremely happy. Last year, I am pretty sure the senior class selected a runner as the school’s best athlete and the team has won many IAC championships. The boys also enjoy that the team is coed with NCS. The kids feel good about their experience. My son also has friends who play team sports as well as boys who do voyager and they are happy too. The boys tend to be low drama and pretty content. I am sure there are social cliques. I know there are parties where my kid doesn’t get invited but those aren’t his close friends so who cares? It is the parents on this board who stir the pot!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to NCS and would never ever send my son to St Albany’s, or likely any all boys schools for that matter. Incredibly sexist atmosphere that was demeaning to women. As an ncs girl if you walked down the hallway, they would all stop and stare. If you were in one of their classes, they would stare at you, and often snicker when you commented in class. Sexual harassing jokes in the school publications, etc. Never, never, never would I send my son there.

NP here, I am so sorry to hear this. We were thinking of applying to St. Albans in the future. Could I ask if this was a recent experience? I wonder how things are these days…

As a parent of a current boy, I would like to think that would not be your experience these days. My son enjoys having girls in his English class bc they speak up and are smart. Current head has spent a lot of time critically thinking about the importance of emotional development of boys at single sex schools. I also like that a lot of key faculty members are women (head of English dept, beloved math teacher, associate head of school etc). Frankly, my son thinks of girls as generally more put together than his male classmates.

I am sorry for your experience on behalf of the boys (but fwiw, I went to co-ed high school and also experienced male chauvinism and sexual harassment from male peers. If you graduated before “me too” feels like a different time. But again, want to emphasize that I am not making excuses for poor behavior you experienced. It is unacceptable.

I would also maybe recommend that the girls not wear booty shorts into STA if they aren't looking for stares. But I am betting they are.

Unbelievable comment. I guess the girls “deserve” what they get. Appalling that this attitude is still alive and well and likely being passed down from parent to son.

[Anonymous]

So teenage boys can no longer even look at a teenage girl who's (purposely) showing some skin? Are we at the point now where we've just decided to deny human nature completely?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would be entering LS (don’t want to say grade just to try to maintain privacy)
Loves school, loves to learn, great test scores, advanced in math and reading (so, for him, we feel ok about the rigor they discuss, were he to be admitted)
Loves robotics, engineering, and coding
Likes sports, decent enough at them and pretty darn good at one or two, doesn’t live and die for them
Competitive, but not a perfectionist
Best friends are boys, but has friends of both genders
Family is politically moderate/left-leaning (kid too young to know or care)

We liked one of the virtual events we attended, but it’s just hard to get a feel (and yes, we know we have to get in, but we are trying to learn more about the schools we’re considering before we finalize where he will apply). Anyone have thoughts or experiences that might be relevant? Do you think STA would be a good fit? Thank you!

Only send him if he has thick skin. Great school for many but not all. They need to implement a zero tolerance bullying policy with severe consequences like being benched. Some real shithead behavior happens to the quieter less confident kids. My kid is fine but have heard about some real issues from other parents.

[Anonymous]

STA could be a fine fit. But the boy you describe does better in my experience entering in high school. The Lower and Middle School experience can be rough. Lots of alluded to bullying especially for boys who aren't that athletic or popular. In high school, things have settled down, in part b/c the worst of the bullies have been counseled out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:STA could be a fine fit. But the boy you describe does better in my experience entering in high school. The Lower and Middle School experience can be rough. Lots of alluded to bullying especially for boys who aren't that athletic or popular. In high school, things have settled down, in part b/c the worst of the bullies have been counseled out.

In your experience are those two things—athletic or popular—the same thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:STA could be a fine fit. But the boy you describe does better in my experience entering in high school. The Lower and Middle School experience can be rough. Lots of alluded to bullying especially for boys who aren't that athletic or popular. In high school, things have settled down, in part b/c the worst of the bullies have been counseled out.

In your experience are those two things—athletic or popular—the same thing?

new poster here. Mostly, yes. I'm sure there are some kids who slip through and are considered cool without being excellent athletes. But by-in-large the popular boys are all extremely athletic. Then there is "popular and well respected" and "popular and invited to all the top parties". For instance, the kid last year who was "athlete of the year" as a cross country runner was incredibly well respected. I have no idea if he was part of the cool crowd and invited to all cool kid events. (I knew nothing about this grade). There is definitely a "cool crowd" in the grades I'm familiar with. But this is the case in EVERY school. (I've had kids in several different private and public).

[Anonymous]

Maybe my kid just doesn’t get wrapped up in it, but he’s in the lower school, likes sports but isn’t a star athlete, does very well academically (recognized as such), and is very happy. I hope that’s the experience of most others…..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:STA could be a fine fit. But the boy you describe does better in my experience entering in high school. The Lower and Middle School experience can be rough. Lots of alluded to bullying especially for boys who aren't that athletic or popular. In high school, things have settled down, in part b/c the worst of the bullies have been counseled out.

Different people will have different views, but to me, not being “super popular” is far less concerning (good, even, according to countless studies showing that very high popularity at these ages tends to disadvantage those kids for life) than is bullying. I would think a kid could handle not being super popular, as long as he has a few good friends and feels supported by the school. The same would not be true if the kids who aren’t super popular are being bullied.

Which of these two are pp’s saying? That would be helpful to know, if posters don’t mind sharing.

[Anonymous]

My kid was not one of the “cool kids” or invited to all the parties, but he had a core group of friends and was happy. I can think of a couple of unpleasant incidents in 7th and 8th grade years, but did not hear about any bullying or ugly behavior in Upper School. The boys generally seemed to like and respect one another even if they didn’t all socialize together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid was not one of the “cool kids” or invited to all the parties, but he had a core group of friends and was happy. I can think of a couple of unpleasant incidents in 7th and 8th grade years, but did not hear about any bullying or ugly behavior in Upper School. The boys generally seemed to like and respect one another even if they didn’t all socialize together.

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