Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner

[Anonymous]

A person at work who I not ever want to interact with outside of work invited himself to my dinner saying he has no plans. I want to be in the spirit of thanksgiving but this person is really despicable to be around. I hope the topic is not broached again and I also do not know if he's serious or just chit chatting. He did not press the conversation further meaning he didn't ask what to bring or when to come over. I'm also a bitch so not sure if my feelings are normal. It's too late to say my house is full or I am going out of town.

[Anonymous]

Does he know your address?

[Anonymous]

Op, this post is a weird as he is

[Anonymous]

You are not being clear. Did he say "I have no plans, so I'm coming over to your place for Thanksgiving?" or did he ask what you're doing and then say "Oh, that sounds lovely. I don't have any plans" and then stand there with Sad Eyes?

If it's the latter, just say "A friend of mine always goes to see two movies on Thanksgiving" and then shrug, smile, and walk away.

If it's the former say, "Oh I wish I'd known - unfortunately our house is stuffed this year otherwise we would have invited you."

Just don't give him your address. You're not a bitch - if he's not going to add positivity to the day then you shouldn't invite him.

[Anonymous]

Why one earth would you not shut this down? How does someone you barely know invite themselves to your house for a family holiday? So odd.

[Anonymous]

full moon brings out all kinds of weirdos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not being clear. Did he say "I have no plans, so I'm coming over to your place for Thanksgiving?" or did he ask what you're doing and then say "Oh, that sounds lovely. I don't have any plans" and then stand there with Sad Eyes?

If it's the latter, just say "A friend of mine always goes to see two movies on Thanksgiving" and then shrug, smile, and walk away.

If it's the former say, "Oh I wish I'd known - unfortunately our house is stuffed this year otherwise we would have invited you."

Just don't give him your address. You're not a bitch - if he's not going to add positivity to the day then you shouldn't invite him.

This post is exactly how I was planning to respond. Especially the first part, what exactly did he say word for word?

[Anonymous]

Give us the whole story, OP. We're ready for some drama. Then we'll decide why you're totally in the wrong.

[Anonymous]

I would assume it was just chit chat unless he brings up he subject again. At that point, shut him down simple and direct. If he is "despicable" then I wouldn't worry about trying to be gentle with his feelings. A simple, "No, that isn't going to work out" should do it.

[Anonymous]

This is moot if he doesn't know where you live.

[Anonymous]

OP here -
"What are you doing for Thanksgiving?"
"Dinner at home, family and friends coming over"
"I don't have any plans, can I come over?"
"...Sure, I don't have a lot of room.."
"I wonder what I should bring over"
Topic changes

I work with this person, so we know a lot about each other, but do not have a relationship outside of work. I truly do feel bad if he has nobody to spend it with, because that's sad. But his personality is not what I consider enjoyable and to be honest I rather spend it with people I know really well. He does not know where I live but again, we see each other every day he would just ask when the date is closer. If I was in his same situation I would not ask myself to people's homes and just do the sad face and hope for an invitation. However, he's suggested outside work events before, but it never comes close to fruition so I hope this will end up the same way.

I already screwed myself when I said "Sure", so I'm just venting.

[Anonymous]

It looks like he totally caught you off guard and you had nothing to go on but the polite ".... Sure..". Your two options are to not bring it back up and hopefully he will not bring it up either or, suck it up this year and know you're going to have a very weird guest. Drink a lot to overcome the awkwardness .

[Anonymous]

can I come over?"
"...Sure,

Your fault

[Anonymous]

You know, he might just surprise you, OP. I would go ahead and suck it up. After all, you said, "Sure..." He must have some level of comfort with you in order to invite himself to YOUR family's gathering in the first place. Tell him to bring a pie from the grocery store or a bottle of wine. Prepare your family and tell them to remain polite. He just might be ok. Or you'll have a fabulous "awkward Thanksgiving" story to tell others for the rest of your life. Either way, you're in the spirit of the day by letting a lonely, weird guy hang out with you.

By the way, I'm a bitch too, so I probably wouldn't have said, "Sure..." but since you did, I think you gotta go with it.

[Anonymous]

Let's hope he doesn't ask.