He keeps buying me jewelry

[Anonymous]

We've been together for several years, and I love him dearly. He has recently bought me a third ring. I don't really wear jewelry. I have a moral objection to buying diamonds. I don't think any of the rings cost more than $500.

He is very happy to give them to me, and I don't want to hurt his feelings. I'm not sure if there is a way to tell him to stop buying me jewelry. This is probably a generational thing more than anything else. He thinks if you want to keep a woman around, you buy her jewelry. Is there a way to discourage it without making him feel like I don't appreciate it? The thought is very nice, and the rings are pretty. He's a grown man and I don't want to tell him how to spend his money. Maybe talk up the virtues of crystals?

[Anonymous]

How about "don't buy me any more"?

Why do you women make everything so complicated?

[Anonymous]

After several years you should be able to tell him how you feel. That you love his thoughtfulness and desire to please you, but you really like xyz more. My DH used to send all these expensive flower arrangements. Flowers are nice once in a while, but they die! And he was buying such expensive ones. It's not the gift for me. Let him know who you are and what you like.

[Anonymous]

Today is not the day for your feminine stupidity. Suck it up buttercup.

[Anonymous]

My husband knows I love jewelry and has bought me several pieces that I love. Now after 21 years he said I have too much and won't buy me anymore.

I guess men are clueless and will never get it.

[Anonymous]

Are you married? Do you have any children together? My father did this for my mother with the explicit intention that these pieces would be passed down to me and my girls/nieces.

Have you talked about something else you have an interest in? Maybe if he see's you're passionate about something else, he'll transition from jewelry to that.

[Anonymous]

Just talk to him.

I specifically asked for jewelry in the past. But I grew up and realized that now I don't want/need any more that DH picks out. It is just best to talk to your SO and tell him what you do want.

Men are not clueless. I dislike gross generalizations.

[Anonymous]

They complains regardless!

[Anonymous]

Gifts might be his Love Language. Read the book before you discourage him from showing his love for you.

[Anonymous]

Just shut up and take the jewels, OP. WTF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gifts might be his Love Language. Read the book before you discourage him from showing his love for you.

This is my concern. My father was like that with gifts.


To answer the other PP, we aren't married. I don't think he intends them as heirlooms, but it's possible. I've known his family for more than 30 years and I have a daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Men are not clueless. I dislike gross generalizations.

OP here. Agree with the above point. I know he can't read my mind. That doesn't make him clueless.

[Anonymous]

You can sell it

[Anonymous]

he gives you jewelry to mollify you. You desperately want to marry him and he desperately doesn't want to do so. Guilt is a great motivator at jewelry stores.

[Anonymous]

Are you open to back door action? Maybe he's giving you gifts to unlock that door.