He keeps buying me jewelry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:he gives you jewelry to mollify you. You desperately want to marry him and he desperately doesn't want to do so. Guilt is a great motivator at jewelry stores.

Neither of us are in a hurry to get married. I'll worry about that after my child goes off to college.

[Anonymous]

Since he has given you so much, can't you frame it as you have enough for now? That wouldn't be dissing his prior gifts to you.

[Anonymous]

Is there any gift you *would* like? You might mention it to him. Not dissing the past gifts he's given you, but just giving him a clue about what you might like. He may want to give you gifts but not know what you'd like. You may have to say, "Oh, look at these lovely cashmere throws!...maybe someday...." or something that seems painfully obvious to you.

[Anonymous]

Is he older than you? You mention generational difference...

Just tell him and suggest something else you might like better (book, scarf, whatever). Seems like gift giving may be his way of expressing love and so you might need to give him "alternative" gift ideas.

FWIW, lucky woman to have this problem. I only wish my boyfriend gave me jewelry! Never in our years together. My problem is the opposite, since I'd love to get a trinket. Lol!

[Anonymous]

My husband has never bought me jewelry. The only jewelry I wear is an Ankh made of bone (on a leather cord), and the stainless steel wedding band that I requested. He buys music. Heavy metal. The heavier, the better. Something that I can turn all the way up, and let it beat into my soul while I drive. Jewelry can never do that.

[Anonymous]

My ex DH and his parents used to buy me so much jewelry, none of it anything that I would have chosen for myself and most of it nothing that I would have felt pretty wearing.

I didn't care about jewelry and they really liked it. They meant well but in my case it was a sign that he really didn't get me. I never mentioned it to his parents, but did gently mention to him several times that I appreciated the thought but would really rather give him other gift ideas.

You would think that a half decade of seeing me never wearing any of it would have convinced him that I meant it, but honestly I don't think he ever *saw* me when he looked at me.

[Anonymous]

For years, I bought my wife heart shaped jewelry. Her reaction to the gift told me that she liked it, so I kept buying it. Finally, she said to me, "sweetie, thank you so much and I love that you picked this out for me but I think I've outgrown heart-shaped jewelry and I'd prefer .... in the future. I was thankful to know that. Had she not said anything, I might still be buying that shit today.