Ever wonder about the backstory when people talk about money??

[Anonymous]

I was raised in a household where money was private -- we hardly ever discussed it with each other, let alone out in the world. So now it's weird to me when people will talk about it. Got lunch with a colleague yesterday and in response to - how was your weekend - she started talking about how she was doing some financial planning and got into specifics - and she's a coworker, NOT a close friend; we have NEVER hung out or even texted outside work. I totally kept my mouth shut and yet the whole time was wondering how the financial situation she was describing was possible. She's been a lawyer for 5-6 yrs -- spent the first 4 in biglaw; married to a doctor who is in a residency. She shared that she paid off all loans for both of them while in biglaw, but now really needs to cut back on eating out etc. bc they need to save 100k-120k down payment but she's unsure if that's doable esp if she also prioritizes retirement savings. The whole time I'm thinking -- how is that possible!? Your HHI is already ~220ish and your DH still hasn't reached peak earning potential and you don't appear to have a lavish lifestyle -- how exactly can a dr. and lawyer not figure this out?!

[Anonymous]

Books smart doesnt mean financially savvy

[Anonymous]

She obviously shared her concerns/plans with the wrong person.

[Anonymous]

You would be surprised how fast a 400k income can disappear in the wrong hands. Some people just don't save. We are friends with one of the top doctors in the area and even he had an issue coming up with a downpayment for his house. Luckily that was an eye opener for him and he actively saves money now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She obviously shared her concerns/plans with the wrong person.

Talking at a coworker about your financial concerns isn't likely to be particularly helpful. It's different if you talk to someone who knows you personally or someone who has indicated that they are interested in personal finance themselves. Otherwise you are sharing just to share while the listener is awkwardly trying to not say anything.

[Anonymous]

It's weird that she would share all that.

[Anonymous]

sounds like she needed to vent ....doesn't seem weird to me even if she doesn't know you well (at all).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was raised in a household where money was private -- we hardly ever discussed it with each other, let alone out in the world. So now it's weird to me when people will talk about it. Got lunch with a colleague yesterday and in response to - how was your weekend - she started talking about how she was doing some financial planning and got into specifics - and she's a coworker, NOT a close friend; we have NEVER hung out or even texted outside work. I totally kept my mouth shut and yet the whole time was wondering how the financial situation she was describing was possible. She's been a lawyer for 5-6 yrs -- spent the first 4 in biglaw; married to a doctor who is in a residency. She shared that she paid off all loans for both of them while in biglaw, but now really needs to cut back on eating out etc. bc they need to save 100k-120k down payment but she's unsure if that's doable esp if she also prioritizes retirement savings. The whole time I'm thinking -- how is that possible!? Your HHI is already ~220ish and your DH still hasn't reached peak earning potential and you don't appear to have a lavish lifestyle -- how exactly can a dr. and lawyer not figure this out?!

Family money. You'd be shocked at how often folks who have had "help" sell it as if they're doing it on their own. Over the years, I have found that when the math simply doesn't add up, it usually shakes out that this is the lurking variable.

Signed,
McLean Resident

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised in a household where money was private -- we hardly ever discussed it with each other, let alone out in the world. So now it's weird to me when people will talk about it. Got lunch with a colleague yesterday and in response to - how was your weekend - she started talking about how she was doing some financial planning and got into specifics - and she's a coworker, NOT a close friend; we have NEVER hung out or even texted outside work. I totally kept my mouth shut and yet the whole time was wondering how the financial situation she was describing was possible. She's been a lawyer for 5-6 yrs -- spent the first 4 in biglaw; married to a doctor who is in a residency. She shared that she paid off all loans for both of them while in biglaw, but now really needs to cut back on eating out etc. bc they need to save 100k-120k down payment but she's unsure if that's doable esp if she also prioritizes retirement savings. The whole time I'm thinking -- how is that possible!? Your HHI is already ~220ish and your DH still hasn't reached peak earning potential and you don't appear to have a lavish lifestyle -- how exactly can a dr. and lawyer not figure this out?!

Family money. You'd be shocked at how often folks who have had "help" sell it as if they're doing it on their own. Over the years, I have found that when the math simply doesn't add up, it usually shakes out that this is the lurking variable.

Signed,
McLean Resident

Pretty sure you didn't read it right -- she's complaining about NOT being able to have the down payment on dr./lawyer salaries; so it's not a circumstance of how did this resident physician afford a $4 million home.

[Anonymous]

1. You think a doctor and a lawyer make ~$220k.

Assume #1 is right...

2. You think somebody that makes ~$220K should be able to save $100k in a short period of time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. You think a doctor and a lawyer make ~$220k.

Assume #1 is right...

2. You think somebody that makes ~$220K should be able to save $100k in a short period of time?

Doesn't sound like she is in big-law anymore...so it's probable that she makes < 200k....her husband is a resident so he's making <60k. 220 doesn't sound like it would be too far off all things considered.

But yes, saving 100k on that salary would take some time.

[Anonymous]

I think it's impressive that she's managed to pay off all student loans for law school AND med school already. She's also managed to start a retirement fund and has put off buying a house until they can afford a down payment. She sounds like she's doing alright, really. Nothing to look down your nose at, OP.

[Anonymous]

Potential backstory - the 4 yrs she was in biglaw, every bonus and every extra dollar went into med and law school loans. So now here she is a yr or two out of biglaw at a lower salary (where it's harder to save) realizing that she doesn't have biglaw bonuses laying around to fund a downpayment bc those were used up to pay of student debt for her and DH. I have seen lawyers do this before. Sometimes it's a good decision, sometimes if you have a low interest rate, it would've been better to put money into market and generate a return and pay some extra into loans but don't focus on paying off every last $ of debt asap. Just depends on whether your student loan interest rate is more or less than potential market returns.

I've seen responsible lawyers do this while in biglaw so as not to have debt hanging over them so they can take non biglaw jobs, but then when they get out of biglaw they realize it is MUCH harder to save in regular jobs bc you aren't usually getting a 50k or 100k bonus at the end of the yr.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's impressive that she's managed to pay off all student loans for law school AND med school already. She's also managed to start a retirement fund and has put off buying a house until they can afford a down payment. She sounds like she's doing alright, really. Nothing to look down your nose at, OP.

This, OP. You sound kinda poopy.

[Anonymous]

See, OP,

You wouldn't be so flummoxed and discombobulated if you had experience dealing with different financial situations. Your family did you a disservice.

But a little reading of DCUM will put you right