vent over husband eating out for lunch

[Anonymous]

My husband goes out to lunch with colleagues a couple times a week. In itself, not a big deal. However, we are both trying to improve our diets and spend less money by meal planning, and these impromptu lunches out then impact what we have planned for the week.

So this week, we went shopping on Sunday and purchased food for 5 lunches and 4 dinners, and planned to eat out tonight as our "cheat" night. But he went out to lunch on Tuesday, and again today, so that's two lunches that got thrown out, and he just emailed me to say that I'm on my own for dinner because he won't be hungry because he ate too much at lunch. This is a common scenario.

I get that these lunches are social and he doesn't want to miss out, but when I ask him if he can just order a salad or something lighter so that it won't ruin dinner he says he'd rather not go out at all (so basically it's all or nothing). He also insists on buying enough lunch and dinner food for the whole week because he always intend to stick with the plan.

Any solutions here? Just let it go?

[Anonymous]

Have one or two of the lunches you buy for him during the week to be a frozen meal that he can microwave. That way, if he goes out to lunch you're not wasting food.

You can also buy a little less food so the portion of dinner that he would have eaten becomes lunch for one of you the next day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband goes out to lunch with colleagues a couple times a week. In itself, not a big deal. However, we are both trying to improve our diets and spend less money by meal planning, and these impromptu lunches out then impact what we have planned for the week.

So this week, we went shopping on Sunday and purchased food for 5 lunches and 4 dinners, and planned to eat out tonight as our "cheat" night. But he went out to lunch on Tuesday, and again today, so that's two lunches that got thrown out, and he just emailed me to say that I'm on my own for dinner because he won't be hungry because he ate too much at lunch. This is a common scenario.

I get that these lunches are social and he doesn't want to miss out, but when I ask him if he can just order a salad or something lighter so that it won't ruin dinner he says he'd rather not go out at all (so basically it's all or nothing). He also insists on buying enough lunch and dinner food for the whole week because he always intend to stick with the plan.

Any solutions here? Just let it go?

Budget some personal money and have him spend that.

[Anonymous]

What are you buying for lunches that has to be thrown out if it's not eaten on the intended day? We buy things to make sandwiches and salads (and also sometimes bring leftovers), and if one of us winds up going out it doesn't mean the food has to be thrown out. Maybe you need to plan different lunches. The dinner thing would annoy me.

[Anonymous]

Seriously what is with the women lately (and I'm a woman). Let it go. Do you want to be the wife who controls every morsel that goes in your husband's mouth? Jesus Christ.

[Anonymous]

I think it's reasonable that he do whatever he wants for lunch, but that if you've previously agreed to go out for dinner on a certain night, you go out regardless of whether he's full or not (he can just have a drink or snack).

I would reframe it as dinner out, not a cheat night. Ultimately each person is responsible for their own weight loss and gets to make their own food decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously what is with the women lately (and I'm a woman). Let it go. Do you want to be the wife who controls every morsel that goes in your husband's mouth? Jesus Christ.

I had this exact same thought. Holy shit this is controlling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are you buying for lunches that has to be thrown out if it's not eaten on the intended day? We buy things to make sandwiches and salads (and also sometimes bring leftovers), and if one of us winds up going out it doesn't mean the food has to be thrown out. Maybe you need to plan different lunches. The dinner thing would annoy me.

This is my question as well.

[Anonymous]

The Solution: LET.IT.GO.

[Anonymous]

A grown employed man can't choose what he has for lunch when you are not even with him?!?!

[Anonymous]

He is not going to eat a packed lunch every day. He may think he will on Sunday, but he just isn't going to to it. You need to take that out of the food planning equation and just assume he's going out to lunch. If the money is the real issue, try having a weekly slush fund of $x that you each get to spend on whatever you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A grown employed man can't choose what he has for lunch when you are not even with him?!?!

This. Not a hill OP needs to die on.

[Anonymous]

Yes this would annoy me because you are probably invested in the idea that your husband needs to stop eating out bc he doesn't make healthy choices and for budgetary reasons. I'd just made adjustments and stop buying the food because it's just going to drive you nuts.

[Anonymous]

You don't have to throw the lunches out. If he doesn't use a lunch on Friday, he can eat it on Saturday for lunch. He has to eat lunch then, too, doesn't he?

As for being full for going out Friday night, if he's too full, you go out and he can have salad and and appetizer or salad and a soup when you go out for dinner. He has his splurge for lunch instead of dinner, but he can go and keep you company, too. That's at least as important as the meal itself.

Point: this is not the hill to die on.

[Anonymous]

Just buy two less lunches for him per week.

That's very rude that he is ditching you for your dinner plans since he had lunch with a coworker.