vent over husband eating out for lunch

[Anonymous]

Why would you throw that lunch out? Why do you buy EXACTLY the amount you need? You sound so uptight.

[Anonymous]

I think the problem here is that he's incredibly lacking in self-awareness and will-power. If he wants to ruin his diet, fine. But he insists on making plans with his wife which then need to be modified at the last minute, so I get why she's annoyed. Plus, she's probably tempted to eat out at lunch too, but manages to control that only to learn that he didn't.

So I get it.

[Anonymous]

Who is preparing the lunches? If you, STOP. He is now on his own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are you buying for lunches that has to be thrown out if it's not eaten on the intended day? We buy things to make sandwiches and salads (and also sometimes bring leftovers), and if one of us winds up going out it doesn't mean the food has to be thrown out. Maybe you need to plan different lunches. The dinner thing would annoy me.

This is my question as well.

OP here. He's the one who tosses the lunches, not wanting to eat a day old sandwich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband goes out to lunch with colleagues a couple times a week. In itself, not a big deal. However, we are both trying to improve our diets and spend less money by meal planning, and these impromptu lunches out then impact what we have planned for the week.

So this week, we went shopping on Sunday and purchased food for 5 lunches and 4 dinners, and planned to eat out tonight as our "cheat" night. But he went out to lunch on Tuesday, and again today, so that's two lunches that got thrown out, and he just emailed me to say that I'm on my own for dinner because he won't be hungry because he ate too much at lunch. This is a common scenario.

I get that these lunches are social and he doesn't want to miss out, but when I ask him if he can just order a salad or something lighter so that it won't ruin dinner he says he'd rather not go out at all (so basically it's all or nothing). He also insists on buying enough lunch and dinner food for the whole week because he always intend to stick with the plan.

Any solutions here? Just let it go?

Rigidity often leads to failure. Tell him he's wasting more $$ by buying 5 days worth of food and NOT sticking with the plan, then he would be if he anticipated going off-course.

just buy enough food for him for 2 or 3 packed lunches. That's probably a good compromise. But what are you buying that has to be thrown out if it's not eaten that day? I assume he isn't taking raw oysters in his lunch. Buy something less perishable, so that if he packs and then bails to hang with work friends, he can just eat it the next day.

He's clearly not ready/doesn't want to make this commitment to changing his diet and spending. I say that without judgement, as we are a non-lunch-packing family.

The dinner thing is annoying, but what can you do? DH and I have done the same thing to one another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are you buying for lunches that has to be thrown out if it's not eaten on the intended day? We buy things to make sandwiches and salads (and also sometimes bring leftovers), and if one of us winds up going out it doesn't mean the food has to be thrown out. Maybe you need to plan different lunches. The dinner thing would annoy me.

This is my question as well.

OP here. He's the one who tosses the lunches, not wanting to eat a day old sandwich.

He can pack the bread and the filling separately and make the sandwich at work. Put the filling in the fridge and leave the wrapped bread at his desk. No waste and no soggy sandwiches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is not going to eat a packed lunch every day. He may think he will on Sunday, but he just isn't going to to it. You need to take that out of the food planning equation and just assume he's going out to lunch. If the money is the real issue, try having a weekly slush fund of $x that you each get to spend on whatever you want.

OP again. I think this is the best solution. I'm not trying to control what he eats, though I realize it may come across that way. I'm just trying to plan ahead and not waste food every week.

[Anonymous]

I make a lot of meals that can be portioned out and frozen. There's single servings of chili, soups, chicken and dumplings, pasta dishes, etc in the freezer at any given time. We pull it out the night before and take it for lunch. If we change our mind, no big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I make a lot of meals that can be portioned out and frozen. There's single servings of chili, soups, chicken and dumplings, pasta dishes, etc in the freezer at any given time. We pull it out the night before and take it for lunch. If we change our mind, no big deal.

How do you package these? Seems like everything gets freezer burn in regular tupperware.

[Anonymous]

The solution is plan to do whatever you want for your meals and diet. If he doesn't lose weight, that's on him. Pack your lunches and have your cheat dinners without him.

Seriously, there has GOT to be something better to worry about than what your husband eats for lunch.

[Anonymous]

I suppose you don't work, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband goes out to lunch with colleagues a couple times a week. In itself, not a big deal. However, we are both trying to improve our diets and spend less money by meal planning, and these impromptu lunches out then impact what we have planned for the week.

So this week, we went shopping on Sunday and purchased food for 5 lunches and 4 dinners, and planned to eat out tonight as our "cheat" night. But he went out to lunch on Tuesday, and again today, so that's two lunches that got thrown out, and he just emailed me to say that I'm on my own for dinner because he won't be hungry because he ate too much at lunch. This is a common scenario.

I get that these lunches are social and he doesn't want to miss out, but when I ask him if he can just order a salad or something lighter so that it won't ruin dinner he says he'd rather not go out at all (so basically it's all or nothing). He also insists on buying enough lunch and dinner food for the whole week because he always intend to stick with the plan.

Any solutions here? Just let it go?

Well, you're not both trying to do this. You are trying to do this.

Worry about what you're going to eat. Tell him he's on his own for meal planning. And if he ruins your big meal out, order takeout and watch some Bravo.

[Anonymous]

I have been married 12 years and with my husband for 16 years. He is a bit like this. We'll have plans for dinner and he'll eat a huge, late lunch. He is a picky eater too.

The whole time we've been together, I just worry about myself. I make lunch for myself. I cook dinner and make enough for more than one serving. If he wants some, great. If he doesn't, leftovers for me. I genuinely just don't think about what he eats or when he eats. Don't care. Not in my mental checklist of things I ever think about. He a grownup. His problem. If he eats a late lunch and we have dinner out planned, we still go and I enjoy my meal and he often orders an appetizer only. Which is fine by me.

Just remove yourself from it OP. You are two separate humans.

[Anonymous]

Let it go.

Give yourself a break too, OP. This is probably driving you crazy partly because you haven't given yourself permission to indulge.

If you want to indulge in a nice meal, do it. If you don't want to, don't. But don't make it about your husband.

[Anonymous]

He should not cancel dinner plans with you. He has to eat dinner eventually. Eat slightly later or he can get a salad. That is just rude to cancel.

I don't think you should dictate what he eats for lunch. I wouldn't want to eat a soggy day old sandwich either. No big deal.