Conflict with family about how to celebrate after baby's baptism

[Anonymous]

My baby will be baptized in the Catholic Church soon. I'd like to be able to have a small celebration afterwards, perhaps at a restaurant. The baptism is on a Sunday. The godparents, who are coming from out of town, are very observant and refuse to go to a restaurant or partake in the purchasing of food after the baptism because they believe it violates the sabbath. Their "compromise" is that we would purchase food the day before to prepare at home on Sunday after the baptism. I am upset because I feel like they are trying to dictate how we, the hosts, celebrate our child's baptism. It also puts more work on me to cook and prepare a meal. I really don't want to go along with this, and I believe they are needlessly putting doctrine over family. I am worried that i will be resentful if I go along with what they want to do. But if we refuse, I imagine they will just leave and not celebrate with us, which will also cause resentment. I'd add that I was raised Catholic and never knew anyone to refuse to eat at a restaurant or engage in commerce on Sunday. The godparents are converts and are very strict in their beliefs. I'm okay with a compromise of getting platters of food and eating at home on Sunday, but I don't want to have to purchase the day before and prepare food on Sunday like they suggested. I'd also like a cake that is fresh and hasn't been sitting in my refrigerator for a day. I'm not sure they'd see my plan as a compromise and agree to it. I'm not interested in throwing down the gauntlet on this but I also don't want to be resentful of them. Any advice on how to handle would be appreciated.

[Anonymous]

I would do what you want to do and reconsider why you chose them as Godparents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would do what you want to do and reconsider why you chose them as Godparents.

+1

it doesn't sound like their beliefs align with yours.

FWIW I too have never met any Catholics (I am one and know a ton) who feel that way about activities on Sunday.

[Anonymous]

I have no clue where they got that doctrine from! I would find new godparents.

[Anonymous]

You have chosen strictly observant people to be your child's godparents, and it looks like they take their faith very seriously. I agree that you might want to think through the implications of this, beyond just this meal, since I would guess they're going to have pretty strong feelings about they role in guiding your child in your faith.

[Anonymous]

I would not choose them as godparents. What are they going to try to force on your child in coming years? This could just be the beginning of conflict with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would do what you want to do and reconsider why you chose them as Godparents.

+1

it doesn't sound like their beliefs align with yours.

FWIW I too have never met any Catholics (I am one and know a ton) who feel that way about activities on Sunday.

I'm Catholic and have never heard of this observation either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have chosen strictly observant people to be your child's godparents, and it looks like they take their faith very seriously. I agree that you might want to think through the implications of this, beyond just this meal, since I would guess they're going to have pretty strong feelings about they role in guiding your child in your faith.

+1

Also I didnt know that Catholics kept the savbath( I'm not catholic) .

[Anonymous]

Did they convert from Mormonism? The have strict rules like how you describe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have chosen strictly observant people to be your child's godparents, and it looks like they take their faith very seriously. I agree that you might want to think through the implications of this, beyond just this meal, since I would guess they're going to have pretty strong feelings about they role in guiding your child in your faith.

+1

Also I didnt know that Catholics kept the savbath( I'm not catholic) .

We don't.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to do what works for you.
I also think you need different Godparents. It may be awkward now but better in the long run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would do what you want to do and reconsider why you chose them as Godparents.

+1

it doesn't sound like their beliefs align with yours.

FWIW I too have never met any Catholics (I am one and know a ton) who feel that way about activities on Sunday.

All of this. I am Catholic and my mother and aunt are as extreme Catholics as it gets and do not do this. Based on their behavior on this issue, I would find new God Parents. No telling what they will try to instill in your child under the guise on "God parent".

[Anonymous]

Going to a restaurant due to family needs does not violate Sabbath. (I just looked this up). I suggest you tell the godparents to talk to their priest for guidance.

[Anonymous]

Catholic my whole life - never heard of this rule. I would also closely re-think choosing these people as godparents.

[Anonymous]

Are they also observant Jews? Wait, but even Jews are ok with non-Jews doing work on the Sabbath.

That is super duper weird.

Meanwhile, I would also rethink them as Godparents, because if they are this dogmatic now, just think about how potentially awkward it could get with them being part of your child's religious life...