Conflict with family about how to celebrate after baby's baptism

[Anonymous]

Does this "rule" have something to do with the group that rejects Vatican II and all of that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The godparents, who are coming from out of town, are very observant and refuse to go to a restaurant or partake in the purchasing of food after the baptism because they believe it violates the sabbath.

"Very observant" of what??? This is not a catholic thing.

[Anonymous]

I think you should choose Catholic Godparents!!! They aren't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would do what you want to do and reconsider why you chose them as Godparents.

+1

it doesn't sound like their beliefs align with yours.

FWIW I too have never met any Catholics (I am one and know a ton) who feel that way about activities on Sunday.

+2 I know of no Catholic doctrine that remotely supports this. Heck, think of all the churches that have breakfasts or coffee and donuts after the 10 am mass!!!!

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the replies. Switching godparents is not an option (this is a sibling and the only one who is a practicing Catholic). They are the godparents for our other children and have been fine in all respects so far. This is a fairly new thing that they're doing on Sundays. It didn't occur to me that they'd be so rigid as to bring it to the baptism. I'll probably just order food and they can eat it or not, and in the meantime, I will probably try to avoid the topic if it comes up. Maybe I just needed to vent. Thanks to all for confirming that this isn't a real thing in Catholicism.

[Anonymous]

I'm an observant Catholic and understand and am sympathetic to trying to avoid dining out on Sundays. But it's totally inappropriate to impose that on your family, and frankly un-Catholic to guilt trip you over this. It is an exhausting time and trying to host on top of having a baby is a lot. You are trying to make a special day special. I would simply inform them of your plans. If they refuse to come, that is there prerogative, and I would leave it at that. If it gets more tense, I agree with others about reconsidering your choice of godparents. This is classic scrupulosity and rigorism and it can really take away from the ethos of the event, which should be one of happiness.

[Anonymous]

That is really not cool. At all. Could you talk with your priest and see if he will speak with them? I agree, framing this as unfair to impose guilt on you at what should be a happy time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have chosen strictly observant people to be your child's godparents, and it looks like they take their faith very seriously. I agree that you might want to think through the implications of this, beyond just this meal, since I would guess they're going to have pretty strong feelings about they role in guiding your child in your faith.

They might be strictly observant, but they are taking that restaurant rule from some other faith tradition, not Catholicism.

OP, what religion were they before they converted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does this "rule" have something to do with the group that rejects Vatican II and all of that?

This is not part of that group either.

Sounds like a small, offshoot, evangelical protestant sect sort of practice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the replies. Switching godparents is not an option (this is a sibling and the only one who is a practicing Catholic). They are the godparents for our other children and have been fine in all respects so far. This is a fairly new thing that they're doing on Sundays. It didn't occur to me that they'd be so rigid as to bring it to the baptism. I'll probably just order food and they can eat it or not, and in the meantime, I will probably try to avoid the topic if it comes up. Maybe I just needed to vent. Thanks to all for confirming that this isn't a real thing in Catholicism.

Then in that case I suggest you have it at the restaurant and they RSVP no. Good luck & congrats on your baby's baptism.

[Anonymous]

Jewish person here. Is it possible to have a non-Catholic pick up the cake for you and come in and prepare a meal for the celebrants? This would be our solution. You can pay this person the day before if you really want to get serious about not engaging in commerce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an observant Catholic and understand and am sympathetic to trying to avoid dining out on Sundays. But it's totally inappropriate to impose that on your family, and frankly un-Catholic to guilt trip you over this. It is an exhausting time and trying to host on top of having a baby is a lot. You are trying to make a special day special. I would simply inform them of your plans. If they refuse to come, that is there prerogative, and I would leave it at that. If it gets more tense, I agree with others about reconsidering your choice of godparents. This is classic scrupulosity and rigorism and it can really take away from the ethos of the event, which should be one of happiness.

100%
The are hiding behind tennets of a religion to control the event.

Sounds like Bride-zilla but Godparent-zilla behavior.

They are out of line.
I love the idea of discussing it with your priest, or pray on it with your spouse.
Then tell them you prayed on it and it seems clear that is better for all concerned....

We did this A LOT with our wedding.
Like A LOT, A LOT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would do what you want to do and reconsider why you chose them as Godparents.

+1

it doesn't sound like their beliefs align with yours.

FWIW I too have never met any Catholics (I am one and know a ton) who feel that way about activities on Sunday.

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the replies. Switching godparents is not an option (this is a sibling and the only one who is a practicing Catholic). They are the godparents for our other children and have been fine in all respects so far. This is a fairly new thing that they're doing on Sundays. It didn't occur to me that they'd be so rigid as to bring it to the baptism. I'll probably just order food and they can eat it or not, and in the meantime, I will probably try to avoid the topic if it comes up. Maybe I just needed to vent. Thanks to all for confirming that this isn't a real thing in Catholicism.

Why are they godparents for all of your children? You don't know any other Catholics?

[Anonymous]

I'm just laughing because I go out to dinner quite often on Sundays with friends who are Catholic priests. Neither of them has a problem with it! Sounds like your godparents have some odd beliefs.