SIL intentionally hurts my feelings

[Anonymous]

Title covers it. Her most recent example being she was texting me about how it's time for me to stop being a stay at home mom and get a job. DH is blessed with a high paying job so I'm able to stay home but her reasoning is that being a stay at home mom is lazy. Well then I get on Facebook and she had shared a meme about how awesome stay at home moms are. Should I say something to her or just let it go? I try not to let her get under my skin and usually go out of my way to be nice to her because she's my husband's sister but she does this sort of thing constantly. It's frustrating. I'm on my phone so I apologize for the runons.

[Anonymous]

Tell her to f*ck off! Seriously, why haven't you called her out yet? If she's not interested in keeping the family peace for your DH's sake then why are you?

[Anonymous]

Delete all communication

[Anonymous]

She might be jealous.

If you say something, tell her you are getting mixed messages and she is hurting your feelings, and wondering what is going on.

Continue to be nice/polite. If she can't stop, when she says things just -- not kidding -- turn around and walk away. Or delete immediately and ignore.

I have a good friend (well, maybe) who just ignores things she doesn't want to talk about. She'll just change the subject or ignore. Works for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to f*ck off! Seriously, why haven't you called her out yet? If she's not interested in keeping the family peace for your DH's sake then why are you?

I have to see this woman for every holiday and family thing. I don't want to completely blow up the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She might be jealous.

If you say something, tell her you are getting mixed messages and she is hurting your feelings, and wondering what is going on.

Continue to be nice/polite. If she can't stop, when she says things just -- not kidding -- turn around and walk away. Or delete immediately and ignore.

I have a good friend (well, maybe) who just ignores things she doesn't want to talk about. She'll just change the subject or ignore. Works for her.

Unfortunately I have the type of SIL that will cry to DH and claim she was just trying to be helpful and speak the truth and I was just SO rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She might be jealous.

If you say something, tell her you are getting mixed messages and she is hurting your feelings, and wondering what is going on.

Continue to be nice/polite. If she can't stop, when she says things just -- not kidding -- turn around and walk away. Or delete immediately and ignore.

I have a good friend (well, maybe) who just ignores things she doesn't want to talk about. She'll just change the subject or ignore. Works for her.

Unfortunately I have the type of SIL that will cry to DH and claim she was just trying to be helpful and speak the truth and I was just SO rude.

So then tell your DH first that this is the behavior, you aren't condoning it anymore and he'll know

[Anonymous]

When she says mean things, just look at her and say, "Well, bless your heart" and give her a big smile. She'll move on to other more satisfying targets.

[Anonymous]

My instinct would be to just say "This works for our family" and put that on infinite repeat, but I like "Bless your heart" better .

[Anonymous]

Ignore

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When she says mean things, just look at her and say, "Well, bless your heart" and give her a big smile. She'll move on to other more satisfying targets.

I like this. You could even add "I'll pray for you" if you really want to mess with her.

[Anonymous]

Ignore it. I'm a SAHM of SAC and you have to develop a thick skin and backbone for those comments. People are relentless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to f*ck off! Seriously, why haven't you called her out yet? If she's not interested in keeping the family peace for your DH's sake then why are you?

I have to see this woman for every holiday and family thing. I don't want to completely blow up the relationship.

Not really. My SIL and my MIL say nasty things. I used to dread the holidays. After my SIL tore up and mailed back to me in pieces the card I made her (because it was handmade, not purchased), I decided I was done. We have happy holidays now with our small nuclear family. No more snide remarks and put downs. I like the holidays again.

[Anonymous]

Block her in all communications.

[Anonymous]

She is petty and obviously has some kind of personal hang up. You've been patient.

If it were me I would thank her for her concern and tell her that I need no further advice on the matter.