Donating Unwanted Heirloom

[Anonymous]

We received an heirloom rocking horse (very LARGE) when our DD was born. She's since outgrown it and we now need the space it is in for a desk for her to do homework, and since we have no place to store something this large, it needs to go. The family member who gave it to us has no room for it either; doesn't want it back. We are the youngest and last child of he family, and no new children in sight for a while. We'd like to donate it, but know the family would flip out, even though nobody wants it. Are we within our right to donate it?

[Anonymous]

Of course. You could give everyone a heads up about it, though it sounds like you have.

"Hi family, Janie has grown past the stage of using The Family Rocking Horse, so we are looking to part with it. Since it's been in the family, I wanted to see if someone else would like it (to store, to use, etc). If not, Bob and I will be donating it next month. Please let me know by then! Thanks!"

[Anonymous]

It might be better taken care of if you tried to sell it on Craigslist or consign it with an antique shop. It is certainly your right to get rid of it any way you please, especially if no one else in the family wants it.

[Anonymous]

Thank you! And I'd rather not sell it and make money off of it, even though I'm sure the family would never find out, it doesn't feel right!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course. You could give everyone a heads up about it, though it sounds like you have.

"Hi family, Janie has grown past the stage of using The Family Rocking Horse, so we are looking to part with it. Since it's been in the family, I wanted to see if someone else would like it (to store, to use, etc). If not, Bob and I will be donating it next month. Please let me know by then! Thanks!"

Exactly this. Fair warning, and a specific deadline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course. You could give everyone a heads up about it, though it sounds like you have.

"Hi family, Janie has grown past the stage of using The Family Rocking Horse, so we are looking to part with it. Since it's been in the family, I wanted to see if someone else would like it (to store, to use, etc). If not, Bob and I will be donating it next month. Please let me know by then! Thanks!"

Exactly this. Fair warning, and a specific deadline.

This. Maybe even ask if anyone knows any expectant parents who could use it. That way it could go to a family friend instead of a stranger.

The specific deadline is the most important part though.

[Anonymous]

I'm going to be facing this situation in years to come, but with much bigger pieces of furniture. My mother spent thousands of dollars on fine wood furniture when she and my father purchased their house 30 years ago. She expects to pass all of it on to me or my sister. Problem is, neither of us have room for such furniture (think big chunky dining table that fits up to 12 people). My sister lives in a studio apartment and already said she has no desire to take on a huge mortgage just to fit our mother's collection. I live in a small house and the furniture is just not my style. Even if it is my style, it would cost more to ship it than it's even worth at this point.

So, yes, our heirloom load may end up at Goodwill one day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to be facing this situation in years to come, but with much bigger pieces of furniture. My mother spent thousands of dollars on fine wood furniture when she and my father purchased their house 30 years ago. She expects to pass all of it on to me or my sister. Problem is, neither of us have room for such furniture (think big chunky dining table that fits up to 12 people). My sister lives in a studio apartment and already said she has no desire to take on a huge mortgage just to fit our mother's collection. I live in a small house and the furniture is just not my style. Even if it is my style, it would cost more to ship it than it's even worth at this point.

So, yes, our heirloom load may end up at Goodwill one day.

For something like that you could use an auction house or estate sale.

[Anonymous]

Nobody wants your junk. Throw it out.

[Anonymous]

Offer it to the other family members first. They want it. It absolutely is not yours to give away.

[Anonymous]

They *might want it I meant to say

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody wants your junk. Throw it out.

Go away millennial. Gen Xer here who was very happy to take some of my MILs heirlooms when they downsized. Speak for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course. You could give everyone a heads up about it, though it sounds like you have.

"Hi family, Janie has grown past the stage of using The Family Rocking Horse, so we are looking to part with it. Since it's been in the family, I wanted to see if someone else would like it (to store, to use, etc). If not, Bob and I will be donating it next month. Please let me know by then! Thanks!"

Exactly this. Fair warning, and a specific deadline.

This. Maybe even ask if anyone knows any expectant parents who could use it. That way it could go to a family friend instead of a stranger.

The specific deadline is the most important part though.

Agree with this as it's what we do in my family. We have lots of "stuff" floating around the family that various family members think are heirlooms. Unfortunately, the family members that think it's just too precious to let go of are also the people that rarely house these items. So when the current caretaker is done being the caretaker, a message goes out to the family that it will be donated by x date if no one wants it or knows someone who wants it. You can only object if you are going to take the item yourself, no "oh it must stay in the family but we simply don't have room for it" nonsense. You either find it a new home or stay quiet.

[Anonymous]

Offer it to extended family (cousins, etc.). This might be a great way to reestablish a connection.

[Anonymous]

Think positively that someone else will be using it and that's better than it sitting in storage gathering dust.